Getting treatment for the trauma of my childhood sexual abuse made it impossible for me to continue doing sex work.
Quitting abusing substances made it impossible for me to continue doing sex work.
How many prostitutes are able to work once whole and sober?
I couldn’t.
Quitting abusing substances made it impossible for me to continue doing sex work.
How many prostitutes are able to work once whole and sober?
I couldn’t.
I was able to be a prostitute because I had never in my life been allowed to experience total sovereignty over my own body.
My abuse was ESSENTIAL to my work.
My abuse was ESSENTIAL to my work.
My whole life, sex was something that happened to me. I accepted it the way a child accepts getting baths they don’t want. It just wasn’t a part of my life I was in charge of.
That lesson transitioned seamlessly into adulthood. There was never a shortage of unwanted touch.
That lesson transitioned seamlessly into adulthood. There was never a shortage of unwanted touch.
Prostitution was the direct result of my learned helplessness. It was a choice I was only able to make because I’d been empowered to make so few other choices about my body.
The sex I had for pay felt like a lot like the sex I’d had for free. At least I could get paid.
The sex I had for pay felt like a lot like the sex I’d had for free. At least I could get paid.
I’m not telling you this because I want you to feel sorry for poor, abused prostitutes & former prostitutes like me.
I’m telling you that prostitution is correlated w abuse because the work is most comfortable for women who’ve grown up having their bodily boundaries trampled.
I’m telling you that prostitution is correlated w abuse because the work is most comfortable for women who’ve grown up having their bodily boundaries trampled.
Men who buy sex are benefiting from the sexual abuse of children.
They’re benefiting from abusive husbands, and compulsory heterosexuality, and narcissistic engulfment, and religious abuse.
They’re benefiting from abusive husbands, and compulsory heterosexuality, and narcissistic engulfment, and religious abuse.
I like to say that I never hurt anyone, but that’s not exactly true. The men consented to the legal and health risks of sex with a prostitute, but their wives and girlfriends didn’t.
Why don’t the wives of sex buyers ever get discussed?
Doesn’t the impact to them matter?
Why don’t the wives of sex buyers ever get discussed?
Doesn’t the impact to them matter?
Most of my clients were married. They didn’t take their rings off. Why would they have to? They’d paid me not to care what kind of men they were.
But I should’ve cared. I should’ve cared about their spouses, their kids, and where that money was coming from. Most weren’t rich.
But I should’ve cared. I should’ve cared about their spouses, their kids, and where that money was coming from. Most weren’t rich.
I had good reason to do what I did, and I can’t say I made the wrong choice. The other choice would have meant losing my roof over my head, losing my children. But sex work wasn’t a solution to my problems - it was the manifestation of them.
The men who paid me benefited from my family’s poverty. They benefited from my inability to access mental healthcare. They benefited from me having no affordable options for full-time childcare.
I don’t support the normalization and growth of the sex work industry because I don’t support investing in the very things we should be trying to remove from society. I want to see these issues remedied, not codified into our economy.
I refuse to give legal validation to the men who find opportunity where others see only tragedy and evil.
Abuse is evil. Poverty is tragedy. And for prostitution to thrive, our society must be rife with both.
Abuse is evil. Poverty is tragedy. And for prostitution to thrive, our society must be rife with both.
