The dulcet tones of the Deep Sea Divers at the greatest tiki bar on planet Earth, Mai Kai Fort Lauderdale
Dave's Planetary Tiki Bar Power Rankings:
1. Mai Kai, Fort Lauderdale
2. Formosa Cafe, Hollywood CA
3. Hala Kahiki, River Grove IL
4. Damon's, Glendale CA
5. Lono, Hollywood CA
1. Mai Kai, Fort Lauderdale
2. Formosa Cafe, Hollywood CA
3. Hala Kahiki, River Grove IL
4. Damon's, Glendale CA
5. Lono, Hollywood CA
In order to crack my Top 5 it has to be vintage and time capsule. Mai Kai is 1956, Formosa recently restored but circa 1940, Hala Kahiki 1965, Damon's 1939. Lono is recent but has many fixtures from Don The Beachcomber, the OG of all mainland tiki bars (circa 1935)
All of them are great, but Mai Kai is the Vatican of Tiki. Mindblowing Spongebobian interior, enchanted gardens with giant tiki sculptures, live Polynesian floor show with hula gals and spinning fire sticks, frozen in 1956. 11/10 
I've done the Enchanted Tiki Room at Disneyland and it's cool, but I sorta disqualify it b/c it's at a family theme park. True tiki bar should be the kind of place that 1958 adults valet parked their Edsel and enjoyed stiff cocktails away from kids
to achieve the right Zen, a tiki bar needs to be a place that appeals to a guy who spend WW2 in Guadalcanal with a flamethrower and now has 6 kids, and he just wants a little peace & quiet and mellow rum buzz
Also, it needs to have low key ukulele & steel guitar or exotica music. Nothing kills a vibe like walking into some "retro" tiki bar and they're blasting some godawful contemporary EDM music at 120 db. FOH with that garbage
