to begin properly, I have to tell you something about my father-in-law, who is a remarkable dude
Dad is a smart, gregarious dude who has had a wildly varied career.
What I'm getting at: Dad's circle of friends is *kind of wide.*
Filtering for this yielded Dad an interesting array of buddies:
* certain businessmen
which explains how I'm telling a story about Dad's friend the mob boss
come with me back to 1950s Taiwan
The crowd winds up on the second floor of a fancy restaurant, feasting. Eventually the mob boss has to take a leak.
Except, whoops, there's already somebody on the narrow stairs. The somebody is a young tough from out of town.
He is not going to move aside for the mob boss.
The mob boss is not going to move aside for him, either.
The young tough says, "Get out of *my* way."
The young tough says, "Do you know who I am?"
The mob boss says, "No."
The young tough says, "I'm from the *North.*"
Which means, get out of my way, you ignorant bumpkin.
The mob boss says, "Do you know who *I* am?"
The young tough says, "No."
"I'M. FROM. THE SKY."
And with that the mob boss boots the young tough *right down the stairs* like
The mob boss takes his leak, goes back upstairs.
The young tough struggles to his feet and limps away.
The young tough -- in town on mob business -- limps back to his local connection
who can't have his guests getting beaten up
time to rustle up some muscle
whereupon Dad and his buddies find themselves confronted by a horde of extremely pissed-off gangsters
*with no idea why*
And suddenly the local connection, who's leading the mob, sees who booted his boy down the stairs
and then the local connection turns to the young tough who got booted down the stairs
AND PUNCHES HIM SQUARE IN THE FACE
and they start jumping in on him too, beating the tar out of him like he's getting beat into the gang for the first time
nobody can look weak, but if they don't smooth this over right this incident could start a gang war
neither of them wants a gang war
So he says, "Please, let me get you and your friends food and drink, as my treat."
Bear in mind: *Dad and company have just come from eating until they foundered.*
But they also have to prevent a gang war.
Dad and his friends and the mob boss and the other gang all ate and drank themselves silly, Dad and company doing it for the second time in a row
just to show the local connection and his gang everything was fine and there was no hard feelings
the mob boss bought a THIRD meal and flotilla of drinks for everybody
so they were there continuously feasting for literally hours