Thread by @saayEritrea

Short @AbiyAhmedAli: We defeated #TPLF (june tah) completely & #Eritrea is in #Ethiopia only because we are at war with TPLF whom we have defeated completely 4 month ago. Mayyybe our soldiers & Isaias did a little raping here and there but TPLF ATTACKED NORTHERN COMMAND!

https://twitter.com/PMEthiopia/status/1374400535504117771

(2) #Eritrea|ns have made a very strong argument as to why they cannot withdraw from sovereign #Ethiopia|n territories, because they fear being attacked by #TPLF (who I have totally annihilated) and I must say I find their arguments compelling. The war is to catch 12 people.

(3) The call for us to withdraw #Amhara Special Forces from #Tigray is like me telling the US: Colorado National Guard cannot be dispatched to California in a state of emergency. Everybody knows Colorado ethnics & California ethnics are analogous to Tigray-Amhara ethnies.

(4) Because I mean everybody knows that Colorado and California have disputed territories and they have deep, and very long-standing animosity and mistrust of each other. Well that’s what my wife tells me because she lived in the US for some time collecting welfare.

(5) I have prevailed militarily (did I mentioned I totally defeated #TPLF june tah? Yes?) but we are losing in the propaganda war because the TPLF stole a lot of money and bought off all western institutions. @amnesty @UNHumanRights @hrw: all bought off by the #TPLF June Tah

(6) Well, at least that’s what my BFF Issu (#Eritrea prez) tells me and you all know how wildly respected he is all over the world for his insight and intelligence.

(7) As for #Eritrea|n refugees in #Tigray well many of them are actually from #Tigray and possibly #TPLF June Tah because again that’s what my big brother Issu tells me and I will repeat it although the UN says the number is minimal and almost all are actually #Eritrean|s.

(8) So, really, if Issu (president of the Republic of #Eritrea) kidnaps a few hundred or thousand of them, am I going to protest that he relieved #Ethiopia of some #TPLF June Tah? No. I will give my neck before I betray emama Ethiopia. @Refugees is probably controlled by TPLF.

(9) Did you know that you can only see your shadow in daytime but not at night time? Even your own shadow betrays you at night! This is the sort of New Agey observation that would make it to Oprah Book Club but you #Ethiopia|ns won’t even interrupt it with applause. Ingrates!

(10) And what is this obsession with #Tigray Tigray Tigray? How about all the other parts of #Ethiopia where there is total chaos and mayhem? Are you ignoring them because they are black?

(11) This reminds me about that time when I said the difference between Black Americans and Jewish Americans is that the reason the blacks will never advance is because all they do is whine about slavery. Thank you the vetting department of Norwegian Nobel Prize Committee

(12) What makes #Ethiopia unique and I have only 0.1% percent fear it will disintegrate is that when you make a call to arms for its defense, people heed the call. By the way don’t heed the call on behalf of Oromia Tigray Amhara rights: they are all paid by #TPLF June Tah.

(13) well I can’t say 0.0% because hey anything is possible with the June Tah. Who, by the way are totally defeated. But #Ethiopia|n soldiers are dying, but we are #Ethiopian|s and we never count or name our dead. That is so ferenj!

(14) Whatever Colorado (Amhara) has taken of Tigray (California) land in this war, is something that will eventually be decided by the boundary commission. Hey no rush: #TPLF June Tah slow-walked it before and besides we don’t even have national never mind regional boundaries

(15) Hey look. On the Millenial Dam which I am calling the Renaissance Dam because it sounds so much better: we are not blocking the waterfall, just a tiny part of the rainfall. So come on dude.

(16). We are not going to war with @sudan. Because the #Arabic name for Sudan is the same as the #Greek name for #Ethiopia. (Oprah Book Club: are you fucking listening? I am making points here.)

(17) Finally, I am making profoundly deep and patriotic statements here that my predecessors like Mengistu have made. Well sure I am better dressed and fed: but it’s not my fault they didn’t believe in prosperity gospel that you should love prosperity more than you hate poverty.

(18) These are my female cabinet members, past and present. Not a single one of them would dare tell me that me equating RAPE of women with attacking an armed military is very very very very very wrong. Because they are all window dressing.

(19) Let me tell you about 3 mistakes the #TPLF June Tah made:

1. They left Addis & escaped to #Tigray. It would have been good for #Ethiopia if they had let me arrest them all as I did with all the other opposition like #OromoProtest leaders & @eskinder_nega. #Selfish!

(20) Let me tell you about 3 mistakes the #TPLF June Tah made:

2. They refused to join the #ProsperityParty, an organization that stands for everything they stand against. #PrinciplesShmimciples

(21) Let me tell you about 3 mistakes the #TPLF June Tah made:

3. They attacked Northern Command, interrupting a perfectly designed plan that I and my brother Issu, president of the Republic of #Eritrea, had been working on for 2+ years with our sponsors 🇦🇪 and 🇸🇦. #Traitors!

(22) Now here’s what I don’t understand: every foreign visitor that I meet is very complimentary towards me when they are here but when they go back, they change their mind. Some of you might say I have comprehension issues but I think it’s #TPLF June Tah changing their minds.

(23) Did I mention I defeated & buried #TPLF June Tah in 3 weeks? Yeah? Cool. I just don’t want you to forget it, for those of you writing my biography.

(24) To the people of #Tigray: hey natives, I gave rewards for you to turn over the 12 people. I have given you one week to stop supporting them. They are outdated, war-oriented, when as you know I am peace-oriented. What’s a little rape, looting, destruction between friends?

(25) My model of war and destruction and externally-imposed leaders have worked everywhere it’s been tried and I am sure it will work in #Tigray. I have earned your trust (I fucking speak Tigrinya for fucks sake.) Just surrender: it’s good for #Ethiopia.