Thread by @the_pale_queen

I would like to ask people to talk about “identities” instead of “labels” when talking about descriptions of yourself or others that are self-chosen and proudly-carried. I am thoroughly sick of saying people talking about “why label yourself”; “I don’t want to label my child” etc

when talking about important diagnoses such as #autism and #ADHD that are utterly essential to self-understanding and often become proud, self-chosen identities as a child grows up, and it’s even worse when people talk about #gender and #sexualities as “labels”.

Ultimately, “labels” have no function for the self; they exist purely for interactions with others. That doesn’t mean they can’t be useful and empowering, but to my mind it’s a huge misapprehension to describe #gender and #sexualities in this way and plays right into the idea

non-#cishetero identities are either pathological or claimed “for attention” 🙄 They are neither. They are ultimately about understanding yourself and your relationship to the rest of humanity. This is also very much my experience of #neurodiverse identities. My childhood and

adolescence were marked by fear of “wrongness” in myself and persecution by others for not fitting into any of the categories I was “meant to.” I worked hard at #masking sometimes; others I got that #autistic stubbornness-integrity and wore my #deviant status proudly.

Understanding and accepting my #bi self freed me from fear and self-loathing in a way it’s *still* incredibly difficult to convey. The weight off me was incredible. Accepting that I am and coming out as #nonbinary has been rockier - because wow people get worked up about #gender

and #pronouns - but it’s honestly been equally incredible. Understanding the roots of the #EatingDisorder that has plagued me since adolescence in #dysphoria has been life-changing. Accepting and becoming proud of my #autism and #ADHD has been just as life-changing.

I am genuinely unsure if any #neurotypical person can ever understand the deep self-loathing #UndiagnosedNeurodiverse people so frequently end up with because of the decades of being told we are everything from lazy to immoral. Diagnosis and self-acceptance is revelation.

So yeah. None of these things are “labels” to me. They are identities. Instruments of self-understanding. Instruments of liberation. Deep and essential parts of myself. And I *very* much suspect I am not alone in this.

@threadreaderapp please unroll