Thread by @cindygallop

Starting my annual ritual of live-tweeting my reading of the @CondeNast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue Predictions: even MORE Carefully Calibrated Diversity; ageist fetishization of youth; huge amount of adspend wasted looking like everyone else; the theme #newbeginnings won't be

Separate to the fact the cover is extraordinarily visually non-compelling, why models YET AGAIN, @condenast @voguemagazine? I want to see real world women on your cover, with real world bodies, real world age, real world achievements. Especially Black women #SeptemberIssue

The big @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue inside cover gatefold spot is taken by @RalphLauren. No, Ralph, featuring Black models doesn't make you anti-racist. Changing the fact you don't have any Black talent on your leadership team does: corporate.ralphlauren.com/leadership

What exactly 'Feels Like Prada', @Prada? I have huge admiration for you as a brand that's held its own all these years. It's time to feel like your own distinctive identity, and be as innovative in your ads as you have been in fashion @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

.@Dior, your designs are better than this. So many fashion brands not doing themselves justice by sticking with the old world order of models, photographers, poses, approach. @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Ditto @LouisVuitton - distinctive clothes, same old same old advertising approach. @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

With such a rich female-founded heritage and a unique visual fashion identity, you could be doing so much more than this in your ads, @CHANEL @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

.@gucci gets marks for at least being somewhat idiosyncratic in a sea of sameness. Although your real glory advertising days were the @TomFord ones, Gucci (I still remember that great security camera campaign) @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Predictable Carefully Calibrated Diversity from @EsteeLauder. You could be coming at this so differently. Especially when a global pandemic has made all of us think differently about makeup. @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Carefully Calibrated Diversity + nothing new from @Fendi @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Don't even get me started on the 'Not Your Mother's @TiffanyAndCo' campaign. Glad they didn't do it here - but what you should be doing is selling the shit out of Tiffany to we older women and mothers. You know, the ones with the cash @condenast @voguemagazine #Septemberissue

One mark for featuring someone who at least looks older, no marks for same same old fashion ad approach, @YSL @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

You need to do a lot more than this to come back from your racism, @dolcegabbana, and it's a shame you don't see the huge creative opportunity atonement represents. Also, the 80s called and they want their fashions back @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Valentino is Valentino. If you like this kind of thing, this is the kind of thing you like. @maisonvalentino @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I love @Zendaya, but I'm feeling Zendaya overload generally these days. There are so many other wonderful Black/of color actresses/musicians/creators you could feature, @Bulgariofficial and every other brand, and PAY THEM THAT MONEY @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I like the outfit on the left, @MIUMIUofficial. I'd like to see it on someone carrying a lot more weight. Not just so I can relate more and consider purchasing, but because when you celebrate larger women, you change societal views of us @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

.@Ferragamo went Matrix. Want the Asian/Chinese market, brands? Don't just cast Asian models - do something to #StopAsianHate @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I actually love #BottegaVeneta's clothes and only wish I could afford them. This outfit, layout, color does make an impact. @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Like I said - @zendaya overload, @LancomeFR @LancomeUSA. And another missed opportunity to completely rethink post-pandemic makeup marketing @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

You badly need to shore up your fortunes, @Burberry. Looking like everybody else in your advertising isn't the way to do it. (My consultancy services are available - cindygallop.com) @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIsssue

.@McQueen's brilliant clothes are strong enough to stand alone. I want both of these - especially the one on the left @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I believe you position yourself as a performance watch, @omegawatches. @KaiaGerber is a lovely young woman, but why not feature older women who've done amazing things, that would make us feel we were strapping on some of their courage? @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Carefully Calibrated Diversity. And really boring clothes. @RalphLauren @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Carefully Calibrated Diversity. And really boring clothes. @maxmara @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

NO NO NO @Guerlain. We older women don't want 'Advanced Youth Watery Oil' - on which, separate to the #ageism, who the hell named THAT so unappealingly?! We want skincare that celebrates our lived-in skin @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue #LiveOlder #SayYourAge

I'm disappointed in you, @Nordstrom. In past years you've been more inclusive. This year everyone's young, thin, able-bodied. @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

If you're going to fork out a fortune for @ladygaga, @MaisonValentino @LOrealParisUSA, why on earth would you not welcome her as creative director and explode fragrance marketing with something 🔥 that would have us all gagging for this? @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

If couture makeup begins with us, @maisonvalentino @LOrealParisUSA, then why not feature us using it? Real world people (yes, include men), of real world sizes and real world ages @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

You were willing to go for more interesting backgrounds here, @saks - you could have done something so much more interesting and inclusive, especially with your Fifth Avenue New York heritage post-pandemic @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

You get points for at least introducing a cat, @EtroOfficial. Why not go to town on cats? Potential winner! @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

You get points for at least trying to do something interesting with your brand identity icons, @Versace. You could have taken that so much further versus decoration for same old approach @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

And FINALLY - at page 116 - we're starting editorial. Anna Speaks. From on high. @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Tell me, Anna, if @condenast @voguemagazine 'brought @annieleibovitz to fashion', what OTHER female photographers have you brought to fashion to be as famous and make as much money? In your #NewBeginnings issue, why didn't you give a Black woman photographer the opportunity + $$?

OK folks, taking a brief hiatus here as I need to get out of my PJs and shower and change for today's social activities (I'll be live-tweeting reading the @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue on and off in the course of today around other activities). Back soon! 🙂

HISTORIC FIRST: in all the years I've live-tweeted my reading of the @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue, this is the first and so far only time any of the many brands I've tagged (including Vogue) has ever responded. Well done @nordstrom!

https://twitter.com/Nordstrom/status/1434181656110325762

.@Hermes_Paris has its customers - the ones who can afford it. Up in that highly rarefied stratosphere, it has no reason to change. @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Is anybody out there actually wearing those @LoeweOfficial pendants? @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

.@DIESEL gets marks for featuring the first old person in the @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue so far, but weirdly - and no marks for the done-to-death 'surreal supermarket' visual. (Should partner with @makelovenotporn instead.) @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I realize a 40th anniversary collection may require harking back to your heyday, @MichaelKors, but post pandemic the world has changed, and so has what we consider 'aspirational'. @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Oh, Tom. You could be so much more creative - in a really crowded luxury eyewear market. @TOMFORD @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

That's a real waste of an extremely expensive double page spread in @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue, @MCMTweets #MCMWorldwide. Your Twitter account is all #MCMetaverse - how about going #metaverse in your ads?

Nice one, @DICKS. Diverse, inclusive, real world, and fun use of "There she is, Miss America...." @CondeNast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I enjoyed this profile of Sally Rooney by @OliviaLilyMarks vogue.com/article/sally-… @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Moving into an area of @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue adspace I call, 'Spent Big Money Buying A Full Page Ad In Vogue And Want It Not To Be Money Down The Drain But Actually Get Sales? HIRE AN ADVERTISING AGENCY!' @cucinelli @avocadomattress @Embrlabs @LOrealParisUSA

Especially you, #Amaffi. You REALLY need to hire an advertising agency. @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

.@GEICO, I'm especially disappointed in you. I've worked in advertising for 36 years. Back in my day, we created ads specifically to appear in environments like @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue, acknowledging the fashion context and riffing off it creatively to sell

RIVETING profile by Laird Borrelli-Persson in @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue of Christian Dior's sister Catherine, the original 'Miss Dior', whom I'd never heard of. @Dior, why not build your ad campaign around her, not just your collection?
vogue.com/article/a-clos…

Really pleased to see this by Laird Borrelli-Persson on @officialxulybet. I thought, there's a blast from the past - Lamine Badian Kuoyate is still going. Why are he and XulyBet not far better known, bigger and $$$? Could it be - racism? @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Just curious - does this ad actually WORK in @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue, @officialnewport and @condenast?

You do have a strong brand, @PoggenpohlBrand, but you could have done with showing some more of your spectacular kitchens here. Guess that's not so easy when you don't want to spring for a double page spread 🙂@condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Great to read about @IamTHATDesiree @CherylMckissack re-launching Fashion Fair Cosmetics @condenast @voguemagazine #Septemberissue vogue.com/article/fashio… #FashionFair

Take note, Anna Wintour @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue: we see you massively step up your coverage of Black talent/ventures/creativity since George Floyd's death + #BLM protests. Still no substitute for full Black representation on your leadership/editorial teams

OK folks, another temporary hiatus as I need to head off to a social engagement (and it is a LOVELY sunny Saturday afternoon!). My live-tweeting of my reading of the @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue will resume later - I'm only halfway through!🙂

One enjoyable Sat + Sun hangover later..resuming. More entrants in the 'If You're Going To Spend A Shit-ton Of Money On A Page In @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue, Hire An Ad Agency Already To Make It A Good Ad That Sells' category @secretdeodorant @olay @dooneyandbourke

Surprisingly unimaginative, @Balmain. You could have done more with #Fracture balmain.com/us/balmain/fra…
@condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

'97% less hair fall' is a really strong proposition, @KerastaseUSA. You could have done something so much more creative with that. Also, know who's most worried about losing their hair? OLDER WOMEN. Show us in your ads. @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue #LiveOlder

You have a rich heritage as one of the quirkiest and most distinctive fashion brands, @Moschino - now helmed by one of the quirkiest and most distinctive designers, @ITSJEREMYSCOTT. So why does your ad look like everybody else's? @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

You have a very distinctive fashion identity heritage, @Missoni, and "Life In Colours" expresses it - so why not bring that thought to life in your ads in a much more creative way? @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Male-dominated fashion/ad industries = we're sold to through the male lens. I won't buy @schutzshoes because of come-hither looks from male-lens 'sexy' models. I'd buy these if they were sold as, no one's going out in the pandemic, wear these for yourself at home #SeptemberIssue

<le sigh> I'd love to see a female-founded fashion brand being much more innovative and creative about selling to women, @AFerrettiLondon @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

WUT #AGL @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

I say this every year, @Chantecaille - there's an interesting story in your support of @TheSujanLife that could be executed so much more compellingly and creatively. Hire an advertising agency! @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue #thesujanlife #conservationfirst

I hadn't come across these brands before, but they all have really interesting brand names. Would love to see you do something creative and distinctive with that in your ads, @UncommonJames @JERRYlorenzo @fearofgod By Far @VagabondshoesNY @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

.@victoriabeckham + @Reebok is an interesting combo - but one that should have been modelled on a real world women with real world body shapes and sizes, especially if you're selling workout clothes post-pandemic reebok.com/us/victoria_be… @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

The challenge for @tuckernuck is that @RalphLauren did it first - to stand out in the pages of @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue you need to find your own differentiated, impactful #Tuckernucking visual take on Nantucket style #FindTheFun

Black models. All-white board. hmgroup.com/about-us/corpo… Cos @HM @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue #HM

Anna Wintour on @annieleibovitz pic of the 9/11 memorial. Annie Leibovitz is not the only brilliant female photographer out there. You're proud of 'bringing her to @condenast @voguemagazine', Anna - bring other women, Black women photographers too. Share the opportunity + $$$

Now we're into the fashion editorial - and the cover story on the models of today. Some of them <cough> rather well-connected, some not. I enjoyed the featuring of @condenast @voguemagazine's offices and staff. Read @tellitslant75 vogue.com/article/septem… #SeptemberIssue

'The barricades have fallen. Welcome to the new world. But what sort of revolution is this, exactly?' @tellitslant75 @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue Yes, what sort of revolution is this, exactly? Because in the very next fashion editorial feature...

..we're right back to young and skinny (with, of course, Carefully Calibrated Diversity). Plus-size models are for making a statement on the cover of @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue, not for general fashion features. And no mention of OLDER models, models w disabilities

These models are stunning. Welcome the blackest of Black skin into every area of the fashion industry and @condenast @voguemagazine, not just for visual impact art direction and photography. #SeptemberIssue

Raf Simons & Miuccia Prada talk to @afuahirsch about their @Prada collaboration, modelled by young actresses. Miuccia Prada is an iconic 72-year-old fashion role model: I would've loved to have seen OLDER actresses modelling her clothes #LiveOlder #SeptemberIssue @voguemagazine

Great and fascinating profile of @JenRPsaki by @widdikombe @condenast @voguemagazine vogue.com/article/press-… #SeptemberIssue #PsakiBomb

Nice idea, fun results: @hamishbowles on @johngalliano @GallianOfficial @margiela and @tomotakakoizumi swapping toiles and mixing up each other's designs @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

An entertaining profile of @steftsitsipas by @lauren_collins @condenast @voguemagazine vogue.com/article/how-st… He's right. Cretan salad is delicious 😊 #SeptemberIssue

Love this concept for a fashion spread: a celebration of landscape architect Beatrix Farrand featuring @NataSupernova photographed, of course, by @annieleibovitz: @chloemalle vogue.com/article/how-a-… So far
@voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue editorial is more engaging than the ads

.@adam___green on the reopening of Broadway, and @HamishBowles on @DemnaGvasalia's @BALENCIAGA haute couture debut @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Shoutout to Nadine @MorencyMohs of Jaymore Realty: jaymorerealty.com/about #BuyFromABlackWoman @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

One last high-end fashion brand in the back pages of @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue. Not sure about that footwear, @givenchy...

It's been a very, very long time since I craved a designer bag - these days I'm all about very cheap, very small crossbody purses that keep my hands free. But this @marnioffical bag is so wild I would totally carry it @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue

Last ads in @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue: @ProcterGamble @OlaySkin #decodethebias olay.com/decodethebias
'80% of search results for beautiful skin, face, woman don’t include WOC. OLAY wants to double the number of women in STEM to help decode bias in search engines'

'For each #DecodeTheBias hashtag @Olayskin will send one girl to code camp.' But it's like @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue - it doesn't matter how much diversity you bring in at the bottom, or feature in your ads, if you show it nowhere to go at the top, in your company

And that's a wrap, folk! Thanks for coming on this wild Twitter ride with me 😊 See you same time, next year for the 2022 @condenast @voguemagazine #SeptemberIssue, and we'll see how much has changed for the better. We hope a lot. @threadreaderapp, unroll