Thread by @SarahJamieLewis

Intel had led us to a small outpost, 70 clicks from the North Pole. We weren't told the origin of access codes, but you don't get that kind of secret from a willing elf, even a turned one.

The outpost was almost invisible in the snow, but in radio it glowed.

#WarOnChristmas

The access codes got us onto the elf rad network, but we needed to override the proxim sensors.

Thankfully the elves hubris betrayed them, out here in this white wasteland they had neglected to segment the core from the proxim. A sweep scan found an open elfcam.

#WarOnChristmas

You see the elfcams are older than the rest of the proxim sensors. While most proxims can distinguish elves from humans, the elfcams were designed to monitor humans and so they don't alarm, only provide a live feed.

They also have a vulnerable rad interface.

#WarOnChristmas

we piggybacked the elfcam access and managed to flood the proxim flow with elf data. With so much data in the flow the other proxims couldn't alert on time. It bought us about 20 minutes.

Keeping to the snowline we made our way inside.

#WarOnChristmas

Elf outposts are the most fucked up places you will ever see. They are driven by morality, good or bad; naughty or nice. They idolize those concepts and their buildings are designed to constantly reinforce their perverted religion.

There are lists, everywhere.

#WarOnChristmas

We had crawled in through a list covered entrance hatch, into a small, list covered, room.

We blocked out the madness and continued with the mission.

Command needed access to the Pole and every outpost was connected there, somehow.

We needed an elf terminal.

#WarOnChristmas

Every elf has a terminal, which means we needed an elf.

The room was quiet, but through the connecting hatch up ahead we knew we would encounter resistance.

As if my day wasn't bad enough. Elf terminals only work when they are attached to breathing elves.

#WarOnChristmas

Elves emit some kind of bioradio signal that powers the terminals.

We had no luck reversing it in the lab., Unlike the proxims, the terminals seemed immune to outside radhacks.

We had captured live elves before of course, but never ones with Pole access.

#WarOnChristmas

Our elftracker counted 5 elves in the next room. No more than 9 in the outpost.

With the element of surpise, we knew we could take the room. I tasked Zeta to secure an elf.

The rest of us loaded swapped our radgear for quicksilver pistols and blew the hatch.

#WarOnChristmas

Quicksilver bullets are the only effective weapon we have against theelves. Mercury fucks with their bio, nothing else does.

I once saw a guy stab an elf between the eyes with a 10 inch blade, and then watched as the elf stood up and tore him to shreds.

#WarOnChristmas

The explosion knocked the elves off balance just enough to get us into good positions. Zetta marked out Target and we shot the rest of the bastards.

Zetta was quick with their silverdart, which gave us a sleeping elf and a functional terminal.

#WarOnChristmas

Elf Terminals are off things. The small glass box sits on the wrist of the elf and is controlled by 4 different buttons.

The buttons aren't labelled, but the the screen contains instructions in elvish - delivered from on high and personal to each elf.

#WarOnChrismas

Unlike their spoken dialects, none of the allied linguists had made any breakthroughs in understanding elf written language.

We had to hack this piece of shit radtech, and we were running out of time.

To be continued.....

#WarOnChristmas