Thread by @DrNerdLove

OK, so this is actually a thing that comes up a lot: “What’s The Point of Negging?”

Strap in folks, it’s story time with Uncle Dr. NerdLove.

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by @AlanaHalper view original on Twitter

So, back in the early days of the pick-up scene, when most of the proto-PUA gurus were still hashing out shit on forums and newsgroups, one of the earliest questions was "why do women date/bang the guys they do and how do WE become those guys?" /2

The answer that everyone ultimately decided on - was "social value". That is, the idea that women are naturally hypergamous and always looking for the best "deal". Therefore, they're going to "naturally" choose the highest-status male they can attract. /3

The key, then, was for PUAs to short-circuit the process by proving that *they* were, in fact, a higher-status male. There were many ways to do this. One was to use "DHV" stories - stories that would demonstrate higher value. /4

These come up a LOT in old-school Mystery Method routines. Things like Bad-Ass Kid, Cs vs. Us, stripper-girlfriend and the like all had "embedded"DHVs. After all, you can't just TELL someone you're Erik Von Markovick: Millionaire, who owns a mansion and a yacht. /5

You have to *imply* it, dropping little hints like mentioning your model ex-girlfriend.

It... worked about as well as you might expect.

But there was another side to the whole "value" equation: when women had higher "value" than *you*. /6

Since women, esp. traditionally hot white white women* were the gatekeepers of sex, they had the upper hand. They would - in theory - give men shit to see if they were *really* higher value or if they were just faking it. /7

*Occasionally Asian women ranked up there as well. There was a *lot* of Asian fetishism in PUA. /7a

Now, part of the traditional "shit test" for women was what was known as the "Bitch Shield".

To anyone else this might be interpreted as "really not interested, leave me the fuck alone."

To PUAs it's a sign that she's a) higher value and b) testing you. /8

Part of how you would both demonstrate YOUR value, lower hers *and* get her to lower her Bitch Shield would be to "neg" her - a left-handed compliment or cocky-funny insult. /9

The idea here is that most AFCs (Average Frustrated Chumps) would supplicate a hot woman. They would never DARE give her shit back for fear of ruining their chances.

(Or, y'know: recognize that she doesn't want to talk and would leave her the hell alone.) /10

So by negging her, you're showing that you clearly have more social value than her because you don't fear her displeasure. Only a high status man could risk tossing away a prime piece of ass, because clearly he has more options. So you drop a neg on her. /11

This... works about as well as you might think. /12

So, in theory, you're demonstrating that you're supremely confident and of higher social value by being willing to playfully give someone shit. By proving that you are, in fact of higher value, she was supposed to now crave YOUR approval and attention /13

Now I should point out: there's a difference between negging and what I call "antagonistic flirting". One is an insult. The other is more of verbal fencing *with someone who appreciates that sort of game*

Think Emily Blunt and Matt Damon in The Adjustment Bureau. /14

This sort of flirting is supposed to be quippy, clever and - importantly - *mutual*. You're playing off one another for the fun of it, not being mean. If someone's not into it, it's not flirting, it's insulting.

You're saying "I like you" in a teasing way. /15

I wrote a little about bantering and antagonistic flirting here: doctornerdlove.com/banter-without…

Point is: negging is bullshit, based on really mistaken ideas about attraction and no small amount of wanting to get back at the club girls who shot them down. /16

(Like my stuff? Consider buying me a coffee some time... ko-fi.com/O5O66EFG) </shamelessplug> /fin