Good morning fellow white Romancelandia citizens, can we talk about Robin diAngelos's White Rules of Engagement? In case you don't know, we white people have been trained by society to react certain ways when we are accused of engaging in racist behavior.
But, you know, like all good training, it's not something we're really aware of. So here's a super great article that explains it all at once: goodmenproject.com/featured-conte…
I'm also going to break it down and give examples. The article starts by pointing out the 2 things white ppl believe is that racists are bad people and is a "conscious dislike."
If you've ever seen a white person talking about their black friend, that's why.
If you've ever seen a white person talking about their black friend, that's why.
And that's also a huge signal to POC that you're an asshole, btw. If you think having POC as friends makes you immune from racism, that's pretty entitled. So don't say that.
Then, DiAngelo goes through the ways that white folks turn convos about race into convos about their own discomfort.
Step 1: Do not give me feedback about my racism under any circumstances.
Step 1: Do not give me feedback about my racism under any circumstances.
But if people do, then really...follow these VERY SPECIFIC GUIDELINES.
2. Make sure your tone is calm and free of emotion. If feedback about my racism is emotional, it's invalid. I am always ruled by logic.
2. Make sure your tone is calm and free of emotion. If feedback about my racism is emotional, it's invalid. I am always ruled by logic.
3. I must trust you. Reassure me you think I'm not racist before you give my any feedback.
4. Our relationship must be issue-free, you can't give me feedback about racism if we've ever disagreed.
5. Feedback must be given immediately or else I can discount it.
6. You must give feedback privately, no matter how public my actions, I can't receive public feedback about my racism.
7. Be indirect because otherwise you're being insensitive.
8. As a white person, I must feel safe in any discussions of race.
9. Giving me feedback about my racial oppression invalidates the oppressions *I* experience (sexism, classism, etc), and I need those to focus on how you oppressed me.
10. You must focus on my intentions, which cancel out any harm I may have caused.
11. To suggest my behavior had a racist impact is to misunderstand me.
One more thing. If you have a problem with the way I did this thread, but not with the way I did the about that NYTimes article, maybe you need to think about why before you come at me.
