Thread by @owillis

"Spin it."
"Ok, Mr President"
John Kelly brushed his clown hat to the side and pulled on the lever. The wheel spun and the calliope sound echoed through the White House residence.
"Scooter Libby, sir"
"Good, get the pardon papers on my desk. Oh shit, I'm missing Hannity!"

Tiffany turned to Marla Maples and tapped her on the knee.
"Mama?"
"Yes, sweetheart"
"What I don't get is why they call it a pee 'tape.' I mean, we've got it on a DVD."
"Oh, sugar, sometimes people just stick to a legacy name for a thing."
"Weird."
"Either way he's gonna be mad."

Ivanka picked up the phone, rolling her eyes as she recognized the contact.
There was distorted heavy breathing on the other end.
"Michael, I don't have time for this"
"IVANKA THEYRE GOING TO EAT ME"
"They're not going to 'eat' you. It was a raid. You weren't even arrested."

Don Jr opened up the closet door.
Eric shielded his eyes from the bright light.
"E-bear, I told you this is one of the bad places. Why won't you listen bro?"
"Sorry Junior. Is father angry?"
"To be honest he's preoccupied. I don't think he noticed you've been gone for 3 days"

Jared looked to his left, then right, then rolled the 20-sided dice.
Bannon grinned and a rotten tooth fell out of his mouth and into his glass of gin.
"Well played. Your fireball kills the lich"
"Oh wonderful! Ivanka never lets me win"
"You're a winner here, oh paladin"

"Ow!"
Jill Biden came running as soon as she heard Joe yell. She rushed in to see his hand bloodied, his full length mirror smashed. He had obviously punched it.
"FUCKING SCOOTER LIBBY, JILLY! LIBBY! JESUS CHRIST ON THE CROSS"
"Joe, this can't keep going on. You have to chill."

Obama cleared his throat three times in a row in rapid succession. And then a fourth time.

Michelle looked over the top of her laptop.

"Barack Hussein Obama, you need to calm down"
"Sorry dear. This Libby thing."
"Dont go Biden on me."
He cleared his throat once more.
"Barack."

Hillary paused clipping the bonsai tree to concentrate on the true crime podcast she was listening to on her headphones.

Bill tapped her on the shoulder.

She didn't hear him, and shook her head "no."

"Bill, its my quiet time. No politics till later. Much later."

Michel Cohen was still rambling when Ivanka switched over to the other call coming in.

"Hello. This is she. Yes. Yes. Yes. I've never really gone brunette, but if its what they're wearing down in Guatemala, why not? As long as I'm never recognized again. Just some legal stuff."

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