Thread by @owillis

Trump hung up from Fox & Friends.

"I think that call went well, don't you?"

John Kelly looked around the Oval Office. Green bile, still steaming hot, dripped down the walls of the fabled room. A bust of Abraham Lincoln was split in two.

"Yes, Mr. President, it went well."

Sarah Sanders picked at the small crack in her desk as the interview on Fox ended. She hummed a hymn to herself, mentally going back to an idyllic Arkansas summer, as she ran barefoot through the grass and her rotund father chuckled from the porch.

"This sucks," she groaned.

Ivanka had stacks of printouts on the stylish dining table.

She paced back and forth. Jared bit into a potato chip.

"Will you FUCKING KEEP IT DOWN? These extradition treaties are complex, and we don't have a lot of time," she yelled.

He slowly bit into his next chip.

Eric could not understand how to operate the remote control, but he was still pawing at the TV screen. Just moments ago, Papa had been on the magic box. Seeing Papa delighted him. Even with the cage and the shock treatments and getting called "it," he still felt affection.

"Tiffany, he's worse than we thought. Its just unhinged."
"I know sir. It's getting bad. I asked Mueller to hurry it up."
"Well, let me be clear, he was never a speedy guy. But he's thorough."
"I know Mr. President. I know."
"He's your dad, so..."
"Not really though, sir."

Paul Ryan was excited. He was bouncing on his heels.

"So I've been studying this fly fishing technique... Im going to catch so many fish!"

"Mr Speaker, are we going to deal with the president's meltdown? I mean, you're still speaker"

Ryan nodded, smiled.

"So back to the fish"

"Giuliani."

"Rudy. Bobby."

"You can't just call me like this. Jesus Christ, you can't just call on this line."

"Dont worry. It's handled. So look, great stuff from last night, but you're going to have to get closer to him. The wire's not picking everything up."

Donald Jr really loved all the gold bars. He had inherited his father's admiration for the stuff. It just gleamed and it made him happy.

He picked up one bar and weighed it in his hand. "Precious," he murmured.

The swastika stamped on the piece was a nice touch.

Sean Spicer walked up to the wax Donald Trump.
"You suck, you know that? You just... suck. And you're a doody head."
The museum attache walked up to him.
"Is everything okay Mr Spicer?"
"Oh! Yes, it's all fine. Just admiring the best president ever. Best ever. Best ever."

Jay-Z leaned on the map that was draped across the table. His Tag Heuer watch gleamed in the low light of the Carter Complex.

"It's an ambitious plan, babe. Do you really think we can do it?"

"Shawn."

Jay-Z threw his hands up and smiled at Beyonce.

"My bad."

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