Saw people judging Jada for being so calm when Willow said she cut herself. Look. When your kids tell you some wild shit you gotta be calm so they dont feel judged and clam up. I know she was dying inside. But you cant show it.
I've stood in front of my 12 year old telling me some wild stuff but being an adult and loving means putting your visceral emotions to the side so they can feel comfortable enough to keep communicating with you. It's how we can be better than our parents.
the other day she came home from school and talked to me for 45 minutes about a boy that likes her. yes there were some cringeworthy moments but what am I supposed to say "YOU CAN'T LIKE BOYS UNTIL YOU'RE GO DO DISHES!"...you think she'd ever talk to me about that again?
so then what happens when she wants to talk to someone about more important issues: depression, sex, serious relationships. she'll think about me firing back and recoil at the thought. and have to deal with it herself or with someone with terrible advice.
think about why you don't talk to your parents. i bet it goes back to a time you tried to talk and they felt the need to offer paternalistic platitudes instead of actually engaging with your emotions. you can't do that to your kids, man
it's a hard line between making sure your kids speak respectfully and allowing them to express themselves. the line between "dad, your steak tastes like crap" and them scarfing down nasty food out of fear of hurting your feelings. neither are healthy and it's a balance
