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There’s been some discourse on here about shame-based messaging in public health & I wanna talk about *why* it doesn’t work.
Because understanding the why can help us communicate better. Plus it can help us deal with feelings of shame we may face in our own lives.
Because understanding the why can help us communicate better. Plus it can help us deal with feelings of shame we may face in our own lives.
A couple years ago, give or take a pandemic, I heard an interesting talk about shame which framed the emotion in a new light for me.
Now, I’m sure this isn’t the only (& maybe not even best!) way to understand shame, but it helped me and I think it will help you.
Now, I’m sure this isn’t the only (& maybe not even best!) way to understand shame, but it helped me and I think it will help you.
The idea is:
Shame is the discomfort we feel when we our actions do not live up to expectations of who we should be or when we fail to act the way we “should”.
Shame is the discomfort we feel when we our actions do not live up to expectations of who we should be or when we fail to act the way we “should”.
I was just talking about this last night & it was definitely reconfirmed today...
One of the WORST parts about being educated, self-aware, and advocating for/about my disorders: the beginning is full of hope that turns to frustration as time marches forward.
Here's why...🧵
One of the WORST parts about being educated, self-aware, and advocating for/about my disorders: the beginning is full of hope that turns to frustration as time marches forward.
Here's why...🧵
Like many, I spent my life hearing the people who were charged with my care say I was lazy, flighty, willful, defiant, and "hard to deal with." I was wrong. I was bad. I was inherently flawed as a person.
I wasn't believed when I said "I don't know," or "I don't remember."
I wasn't believed when I said "I don't know," or "I don't remember."
My strengths were not valued at all and my weaknesses were over-valued. Eventually the scale tipped and I started to believe what they were saying. I no longer valued myself. They told me I didn't deserve love and I agreed.
The scary side of #adhd that not people don’t often talk about:
1. Likely to live up to 20 years less than a neurotypical
2. High addiction propensity
3. Low to No Impulse control
4. How much money that makes you waste.
1. Likely to live up to 20 years less than a neurotypical
2. High addiction propensity
3. Low to No Impulse control
4. How much money that makes you waste.
5. Low inhibition - add alcohol and you’ve got a great situation in which be taken advantage of.
6. You have a bad memory, a really bad memory - admit it.
7. It takes you a long time to mature in some areas.
8. Your brain is predisposed to recording the bad parts.
6. You have a bad memory, a really bad memory - admit it.
7. It takes you a long time to mature in some areas.
8. Your brain is predisposed to recording the bad parts.
9. You’ve likely ghosted you fair share or people simply because you don’t understand emotions very well and may avoid the hard stuff.
10. You can have physical pain due to boredom 🤯🤮
11. At some point you may question if you really know yourself.
10. You can have physical pain due to boredom 🤯🤮
11. At some point you may question if you really know yourself.
The worse part of #adhd for me used to be an unending barrage of negative inner commentary.
I have coping mechanisms that have allowed me to fit in for years but the internal negativity was always there.
Then I decided I deserve better.
I have coping mechanisms that have allowed me to fit in for years but the internal negativity was always there.
Then I decided I deserve better.
Don’t you want to see how a neurotypical brain can tune out and turn off noise?
Want to feel trust in your emotions?
Your reactions.
Have hope for the future?
You deserve better.
Want to feel trust in your emotions?
Your reactions.
Have hope for the future?
You deserve better.
40% of us have some kind of comorbid (occurring together) condition along with ADHD
50% of us have anxiety specifically.
If you had diabetes you’d take medication to live - easy choice
ADHD is treatable.
It is manageable.
50% of us have anxiety specifically.
If you had diabetes you’d take medication to live - easy choice
ADHD is treatable.
It is manageable.
#ADHDers have a "talent" for disappearing.
ADHD-ghosting usually happens when RSD is in control; we believe the other person/ppl don't want anything to do with us cuz we made a mistake, missed a deadline, etc etc.
They're also a response to being overwhelmed by "all the things"
ADHD-ghosting usually happens when RSD is in control; we believe the other person/ppl don't want anything to do with us cuz we made a mistake, missed a deadline, etc etc.
They're also a response to being overwhelmed by "all the things"
But sometimes it's entirely unintentional. We don't notice time passing so don't realize how long it's been, & we aren't good at recalling something without being prompted so something needing a reply can get pushed to the background when our attention is full of "all the things"
These vanishing acts can occur gradually or in one big impulsive withdraw. They end up persisting when we don't know how to reconnect with that person since it is often viewed as a breach of trust or as being rude; making it all the more difficult for us to overcome this behavior
On #WorldMentalHealthDay, which poignantly for me coincides with October's #ADHDAwarenessMonth, I wish to follow the example of others & share my experience in what I believe is an unfit for purpose mental health service here in Scotland. #TeamADHD #neurodiversesquad (1/?)
After years of operating in a constant state of overwhelm, exhaustion and anxiety, I went to my GP in January to seek a referral to NHS psychiatry because I had come to believe that I was suffering with undiagnosed ADHD. A week later I received this letter. (2/?) 
For 6 months leading up to this appointment, I had carried out thorough research after a colleague from a teaching job caused me to question if ADHD was at the root of why I was so deeply miserable in my university life. It wasn't long before the penny dropped. (3/?)
A brief thread of my real #ADHD experience:
ADHD is...
Wanting to do the all the things but being able to do less and less the more there is to do.
Desperately trying and failing to learn new names while being able to recall loads of facts even you don't care about. 1/
ADHD is...
Wanting to do the all the things but being able to do less and less the more there is to do.
Desperately trying and failing to learn new names while being able to recall loads of facts even you don't care about. 1/
ADHD is...
Doubting even your strengths.
Unloading anger and frustration on those closest to you because you held it together all day at work and something has to give. 2/
Doubting even your strengths.
Unloading anger and frustration on those closest to you because you held it together all day at work and something has to give. 2/
ADHD is...
Taking on more than you can handle because you want to be helpful.
Feeling strong emotions without knowing why. 3/
Taking on more than you can handle because you want to be helpful.
Feeling strong emotions without knowing why. 3/
#HateToDisappointYouBut ADHD is likely not what you think it is. I'm saying this because most people think #ADHD is just hyperactive, naughty little boys, and it couldn't be more wrong. It affects life in so many ways. If you know people with it, please find out what it's about.
Find more info & ADHD people: #ADHDinattentive #ADHDmyths
#AdultADHD #WomenWithADHD
#ADHDAwareness #TeamADHD #NeurodiverseSquad
#AdultADHD #WomenWithADHD
#ADHDAwareness #TeamADHD #NeurodiverseSquad
I keep raising #ADHDawareness because there are LOADS of undiagnosed #ADHD adults in the world, living their lives, struggling, wondering why almost everything is so difficult. I've read that about 80% of ADHD adults don't know they have it. It's tragic! I found out at 38 myself.
I’m not sure what magic caused this to appear in my timeline but it gave me a nudge at a point where I really needed a nudge (or maybe a good hard shove). It also spoke to a core fear: that I’d get there and nobody would believe me. How can this be a problem now at 48?
But of course it wasn’t just now - it’s been at least since university DVD probably before. It was just never noticed because I could gut through things and was basically quiet. The more I read about ADHD, the more things made sense.
So anyway, I went in yesterday. I had bad allergies as a cover story in case I lost my nerve. But they listened to me and now I’m going back next week to see where it goes.
