Thread by @aliettedb

Thread about time and writing
I don't have any pretensions that this is gospel truth but here are a few things I thought are worth keeping in mind especially if you're struggling with limited time (h/t primary caretakers of small children)

The one thing I always forget: balls will be dropped. By which I mean, you cannot hope to do all the things. And this is fine. By far the most important thing I learnt is to forgive myself for not being superwoman

A couple tricks: DO THE WRITING FIRST
If you're a perfectionist like me there's a tendency to want to get rid of the chores first and do the writing when your plate is clear. Guess what? The plate will never be clear.

Related: I've heard the "write when kids are in bed" advice. It took me a long time to figure out it wasn't for me. Because by the time we get to 9:00pm and everyone is in bed I have no energy left. My best writing time is early morning/lunch.
(it may well be different for you!)

Worth remembering because everyone tends to bombard me with "the children have to be first": it is not selfish to take some time out to do things that matter to you. It makes you a better parent. 100% time of engaged quality parenthood with children is a MYTH

It's ok to take time off because you have no energy. It's ok to write if you want to. Basically, you do what you can afford to and what you want to do. All of these things are ok. There is no one way. But be gentle to yourself because you genuinely cannot do all the things.

All the advice that's given to people RE writing like "write every day?" Not only inapplicable but frankly toxic to parents, bc it fosters a culture of guilt of "I didn't write enough today and it's because I'm not committed enough." Guess what? You're committed to little ones

On those rare childfree moments I find myself super guilty that I'm not producing words fast. But it's worth remembering that writing takes time, and a lot of that time isn't necessarily wordcount? It's having space to untangle plot lines, let characters breathe, etc.

Remember that sleep is a thing and that sleep deprivation isn't super conducive for writing. Nap vs writing? Nap wins every time for me.

(well, it should win every time but sometimes I forget my own advice hahaha)

A thing I get often is "you should spend time with your kids they grow up so fast, you can write later". They do grow up fast, yes. But the books you don't write while they're growing up? Consider whether you'll regret these.
(I'm not saying don't see kids grow up. Just balance)

Anyway I'm all out of moderately smart advice but I'll take other people's hahaha. 🤣

Also if you enjoyed this thread and want to chip in so I can continue writing, here are my books.
Some of them even have kickass mothers :D
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