Thread by @sometimesalight

If you follow evangelical debates about sexuality, the last few months have been interesting ones for conservatives. I have said much but have been thinking a lot about them, trying to puzzle them out.

I'm not interested in the surface level positioning or even applications so much as the underlying rhetoric and paradigms. Especially for conservatives b/c I consider myself one.

Among my peers, I've seen two parallel debates emerge:

1) Can men and women be friends or will "the sex" (as Harry puts it) always get in the way?

2) What language can celibate Christians w/ ssa use to describe their experience of the world?

So I'm watching these two conversations take shape, and I just realized why I've been bothered by them so much:

Both Qs wrestle w/ our sexual proclivities in a fallen world, but we're applying different rules to them.

Arguing if men & women can be friends, many say, "Well, that's tough, b/c you know... the sex."

We accept there'll always be a level of sexual tension to the point we must safeguard our interactions w/ each other. We define men & women by their sexual orientation to each other.

But when we pick up the 2nd Q, we resist the framing of sexual orientation. We insist that Xians w/ ssa should not think of themselves through the lens of their sexuality b/c their identity is "in Christ."

I think both Qs are important & require more nuance than average Twitter debate can offer. Heterosexual men & women *must* give attention to themselves as sexual beings. To do otherwise is to set themselves up for failure.

But if hetero men & women can & should understand themselves in light of their sexuality, then shouldn't the same logic apply to Xians experiencing ssa?

Tbh, I think both these Qs are primarily presenting issues. They reveal deeper structural flaws in our understanding of gender & sexuality & populist paradigms of sexuality (both religious & secular) can't give satisfying answer to either.

So these are exciting times b/c the tensions are an opportunity to recover deep, holistic vision of sexuality. But it will also be tempting to bypass the work & settle for defending established paradigms.

I address this to conservatives b/c we're the ones claiming historic teaching on the Qs of marriage & sexuality: Friends, we need to sort ourselves out.

But this will require courage, charity, & commitment. Commitment to truth & each other. We don't waver from either.

Also, feel free to comment & engage this thread. Always appreciate critique offered in goodwill. If you hate RT, troll, or generally behave poorly, you'll be blocked. We're ladies & gentlemen around here.

(Looking at you w/ the anonymous profile pic.)