I study the psychology of fandom. One thing that seems very clear to me in some of the comments I’ve seen directed at @cassieclare is that there is a tendency to prioritize the (imaginary) feelings of fictional characters over the real-world feelings of an actual person.
Many of the complaints I’ve seen in comments come in the form of “she said X about Y!” where Y is a fictional character, but treated as if they were a real-person.
Psychologically, this makes sense. Fans have spent so much more time with the characters and know them so much better! Our brains aren’t wired to believe that beloved characters we’ve spent a lot of time with aren’t real. Even if we know that rationally, it doesn’t FEEL that way.
But no matter how it feels, criticizing the depiction of a fictional character/fictional actions is not the same as insulting a real person. Which is not to say that you can't find pieces of criticism to be problematic or harmful. You can, and that can be worth discussing.
But suggesting that “insulting” a character merits a tit-for-tat response to a real person? To characterize real-world aggression as striking back, because someone else said something about a make-believe person first?
That’s the point at which you need to remind yourself that no matter how beloved a fictional character is, no matter how much they’ve meant to you, no matter how much you identify with them—you aren’t actually coming to a friend’s defense.
Fictional characters don’t need you to defend them. They’re not going to get their feelings hurt. They don’t benefit in any way from your moral support, because they aren’t real. And hurting a real person in defense of an imaginary one isn’t justified or justifiable.
This applies to so many situations within so many fandoms. The parasocial relationships we form with characters can be so powerful—and based on psychological research, they can also do a powerful lot of good!
But I worry sometimes about the downside of valuing fictional people so much—especially when it seems to affect the relative value of real people we aren’t close to, the way we are close to favorite characters.
I gave this talk a few years ago on fictional grief:
Notably, there is also research on the grief people feel when they experience a parasocial break-up because a show or series is cancelled. Like this paper, by Jonathan Cohen: journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.117…
So if you find yourself grieving the end of a beloved piece of fiction—you’re not alone! It’s a real psychological effect. And it can be a very powerless feeling to know that no matter how close your parasocial bond is with a character, you have no say over what happens to them.
I’ll never judge anyone for grieving a fictional friend, but no matter how loved our imaginary friends are, we have to remind ourselves that real people come first, and that includes creators, shippers you disagree with, and fans who dislike what you love.
One final comment: when I see things like this, most often, vitriol is directed at a female creative (writer, actor, etc.) on behalf of a male character or characters. The effect of gender may be complex, but I strongly hypothesize that it’s there, in which case?
We have got to stop prioritizing the feelings of make-believe men over the feelings and mental health of real, actual women.
