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i want to talk about why interests branded as "feminine" are considered "lesser" interests. because it's something not only woven deeply into our society, but something that affects the way men view women & often the way women view themselves. AHEM:
a scenario: a fan is gearing up for a big event. they make their own t-shirt to wear. make a sign to hold up. spend a nice amount of money on tickets. on the day of, they yell with excitement and involvement, having the time of their life.
one is a woman going to a boyband concert. her favorite band, she knows every word to every song. another is a man going to a football game. his favorite team, he knows the stats of every player. guess which one of these interests is considered lesser than the other?
they are virtually the same exact thing, as evidenced in the scenario above, and yet one is considered by society to be lesser than the other. women who scream for boybands and pop stars are fanatic, obsessive, immature. men who do the same for sports teams are just fans.
from here, there are a few places i can go: let's talk about women sports fans. they aren't taken as seriously, subject to constant gatekeeping and questioning. there are men determined to deem her WORTHY of this interest of theirs. why?
because it's not a traditionally feminine space, and by allowing it to be feminine, it's lessened in value. because women and their interests are considered lesser in value.
now flip the switch: it's not considered "cool" for a man to go to a boyband concert, let alone actually be interested in being there. why? because it's a space deemed feminine. and feminine interests aren't cool, especially not for men. they're ridiculed for it. they're lesser.
women who like "feminine" things are going to be considered lesser. women who like traditionally "masculine" things are considered to be lesser to the point where they feel unwelcome in that space. what ARE we supposed to like that's "worthy" of respect?
what we need to do is change the way "feminine" interests are viewed. first step: let people like things. no matter their gender or how they identify. if they're not hurting anyone, let them like that thing and don't feel the need to put them down for it.
but it's also much more nuanced than that. we need to recognize the level of skill, artistry, intelligence and comprehension that a lot of these "lesser" interests require. it goes without saying, at least to ME, that interests that DON'T require a ton are just as valid.
i want to talk about makeup specifically, which is a perfect example, to me, of an interest that's traditionally feminine, that could require a level of skill, but is often considered vapid and deemed something lesser.
makeup has long been considered a woman's tool. of course there are men who are into makeup, which i recognize and give 1000% validity too, but i'm going to talk about women because i'm talking about the broader scope of society and how it relates to feminine interest.
women use it for many different reasons, but i'll relate it to my own experience: when i was insecure, it used to cover up things about my face i didn't like. when i felt confident, i used it to draw attention to that same face. these days i honestly use it for myself, for fun.
when women use make up to cover up they're told they "don't need it", that you should be "fine the way you are", all while living in a society that emphasizes good looks. there's a lot to unpack there that others have covered ad nauseam, but i'm talking about INTEREST.
i find i have been shamed and put down more for my genuine interest and love of makeup than i ever was when i was using it to cover myself up and hide. and i think that's interesting. (and i'm interested to see if other women out there feel similarly).
women who just genuinely love makeup will cite many different reasons: i love how it makes me feel. i love the art and process involved. i love how it makes me feel like a different person. all of these are perfectly valid reasons to love something.
and all of them are reasons that could apply to any other interest: the feeling of being at a football game. the art and process of building a motorcycle from spare parts. playing an immersive video game and feeling like the character you play.
yet women are shamed for loving makeup for the same reasons. why? because it has nothing to do with WHY we love it. the passion is deemed as vapid, vain, stupid, because of WHAT it's directed at.
as a society we respect passion. being a "passionate person" is one of the best things we can be. but we also deem what's worthy of said passion. we need to examine why certain passions are seen as more worthy than others, and who they're traditionally associated with.
if society starts viewing feminine interests with more respect, people with those interests will start viewing THEMSELVES with more respect.
i love makeup. i have a massive collection. i wear it all the time. yet, my makeup inspiration pinterest board is still set to private. i still walk into a sephora and pretend not to know the name of a highlighter i've seen five swatches, ten reviews and three tutorials with.
in insecure moments where i feel the need to assert my power, i'm more likely to bring up my more "masculine", or neutrally "cool" interests: i love space and rockets. i know a fuck ton about navy aircraft and rollercoasters. i play a handful of instruments.
i'm someone who's aware of the disparity and yet i still fall prey to it sometimes. so imagine how people who aren't aware of it, who genuinely think their "lesser" interests make THEM "lesser", feel about their passions, and themselves?
i think i probably went a little all over the place here, but the main point i'm trying to get at: femininely-coded interests are just as valid as any other interest. makeup. fashion. boybands. face masks. rom coms. all of these things & more are good and worthy of respect.
gender is a social construct that we have created. it shouldn't have to apply to people, much less apply to inanimate objects and interests, but we as a society made it that way. it is within our power to unmake it just as we made it.
i wish twitter had an edit button so i could go back and insert: women’s interests are considered lesser because the minds of women are considered lesser because WOMEN are considered lesser. that’s where this stems from. god i could go for another 50 tweets
