Thread by @soychicka

I'm sorry. Maybe they're happy together, but is it better to know what's real or to be happy?

What if it's an abusive relationship?
What if your silence enables someone to continue assaulting other women on the side?

washingtonpost.com/news/postevery…

I'm sure you realize most people - especially women - tend to put their positive face forward on social media. Perhaps because that's what they aspire to be, or because that's what they're expected to be.

But assuming you know enough to act in her best interest is not kind.

And it's not kind to other women.

Given his manipulative behaviour in how he pre-empted the discussion with the author's friend, my guess would be that it was neither the first, nor the last, time he'd assaulted a woman.

And there is vast a difference between blasting his name over social media and reporting confidentially to law enforcement where the assault occurred, in the event other survivors have come forward seeking to know they weren't alone.

As a personal choice, I can understand. Reaching out to her personally is clearly in no way appropriate.

As a matter of not saying anything publicly, I understand that choice.

But as a prescription for what is the 'right' thing to do, this is the wrong answer.

And the only way we can eventually stop the serial perpetration of sexual violence is to hold those perpetrators accountable and show the consequences to future generations, be they through the courts or through social feedback mechanisms.

Just know this: if he had realized he made a 'mistake,' he would have attempted to make amends for his past wrongs, which he clearly recognized.

He did not, which means one of two things:
he either has no remorse,
or he believes he has something to hide.

So, again: I understand if someone is not yet ready to come forward, and this is their internal rationalization to avoid experiencing the revictimization that follows publicly reporting...

But, to me, the strongest reflection of recovery is the willingness to act to prevent the same harm from befalling others, and publishing this article is quite possibly the _worst_ path to preventing future sexual violence that I can imagine.

🤷🏼‍♀️