@AllThatJazmin don’t try and ‘talk them down’ from it, it’s a terrible idea to argue a point. assume it stems from fear and address that by helping them remove anything they percieve as danger. don’t try and force them to work through it.
@AllThatJazmin don’t panic if someone is in meltdown. most people having a meltdown have had one already. or many. they may be experts at calming themselves. assume competence. listen. even a small child may intuitively know what they need. however it is hard to communicate it.
@AllThatJazmin if someone has a meltdown in a car while you are driving, concentrate on the driving. do not try and argue with them. stop as soon as you can do so safely, but in a location safe for them. not by a busy road, for example, as they may try and get out.
@AllThatJazmin meltdowns are not inevitable. like an avalanche they can be hard or impossible to stop once they get going but there are triggers and warning signs and they can be prevented. and ‘recovery time’ can be substantially reduced.
@AllThatJazmin recovery time is an important stage of meltdown. some people can recover very fast, a few minutes, but others may need a lot longer, hours, a day... maybe more.. there’s no set time so don’t demand people ‘should be ok now’.
@AllThatJazmin meltdown recovery can include a sense of running through a mental checklist to make sure everything is now ok. it can take 100% of someone’s attention. so if they are quiet, don’t keep on ‘are you ok?’ stay close and quiet with them, or give them space.
@AllThatJazmin when they seem ok again, move on don’t interrogate. definitely don’t make jokes about it or be sarcastic. if they want to explain they will. Later, when suitable moment, discuss what happened. Eg, ‘i saw you were upset, can we talk about how i could have helped?’ don’t judge.
@AllThatJazmin don’t assume it will happen again even if you both know it is likely. it can be very frightening. so no ‘next time....’ conversation unless they instigate it. and don’t go on about previous times. no ‘well you always...’. they may feel trapped.
@AllThatJazmin it can help to think about meltdown as similar to an allergic reaction, your whole body being involved in becoming hyper vigilant, like if our minds have an ‘immune system’ of their own..
