Feedback, feedback. Everybody says they love getting feedback, love giving feedback, never enough feedback feedback feedback. So tired of hearing about "feedback" without any additional context or guidance. On its own it's just a nonsense word, like "disrupt". or "impact".
If "feedback" doesn't cause you discomfort on the regular, you're just using it as a weasel word, a placeholder for whatever the hell you want. Or you aren't even trying.
Feedback should mean something. We should work hard at it. We should get better at it.
Feedback is like unit tests for human systems, and integration tests for human organizational systems. You don't build quality systems without quality feedback loops.
Feedback is like unit tests for human systems, and integration tests for human organizational systems. You don't build quality systems without quality feedback loops.
One of our five company values is, "feedback is a gift". honeycomb.io/blog/2018/01/h…
Give generously and thoughtfully and frequently. Give with humility. Practice high trust and high transparency.*
*(gifts don't make people cry.)
Give generously and thoughtfully and frequently. Give with humility. Practice high trust and high transparency.*
*(gifts don't make people cry.)
This was borrowed from a slogan that was making the rounds while I was at Facebook. I'm still amazed that we adopted it; everyone hated it while I was there, including me.
(Which just goes to show: it's all about how much you trust the giver.)
(Which just goes to show: it's all about how much you trust the giver.)
Anyway, enough prologue. Here are my proposed Rules for Feedback ing.
1) Be prompt. It's awful to realize someone has been sitting on their feedback for you for months.
1) Be prompt. It's awful to realize someone has been sitting on their feedback for you for months.
2) Be provisional. State your level of confidence in the feedback. Does it stand just for you, or for everyone? Are you sure?
3) Be wary of speaking for others. Use "I" statements and non-violent communication
3) Be wary of speaking for others. Use "I" statements and non-violent communication
4) Practice receiving well, with grace and consideration even when you don't agree. Nobody should dread giving you feedback.
5) Feedback is a dialogue, not a lecture.
5) Feedback is a dialogue, not a lecture.
6) Prepare. Put at least as much care and thought and preparation into your feedback as you would a code review.
7) Try not to pile on.
7) Try not to pile on.
8) Give actionable feedback. If they can't act on it, does it really need to be said? (Maybe feedback is the monitoring check of interpersonal relations, too...)
9) Ask first. This is about them, not you.
9) Ask first. This is about them, not you.
10) Be clear with yourself and others about when you are or aren't in a space where you can receive hard feedback. Gifts don't make friends cry.
