This is a cute little piece on giving feedback well (which is not the same thing as "giving good feedback"!). I will however take issue with the shit sandwich advice, aka "pad it with praise".
First of all, you fooling nobody. You get called into the boss office and praised out of nowhere, your hands get clammy for a reason.
Last minute praise is no substitute for knowing where the fuck you stand, good or bad.
Last minute praise is no substitute for knowing where the fuck you stand, good or bad.
It's pretty cheap praise too if you only get it when you're about to get shit on.
It takes effort to remember to acknowledge and thank people when they are doing well. Hell, it takes effort to *notice*. But that's the job. Write yourself a post-it.
It takes effort to remember to acknowledge and thank people when they are doing well. Hell, it takes effort to *notice*. But that's the job. Write yourself a post-it.
I heard once the number 7 to 1, like if someone is doing well they should hear 7 pieces of good feedback to every one piece of bad.
It's total bullshit, of course, but good to have a goal.
It's total bullshit, of course, but good to have a goal.
By which I mean:
- Some people squirm when you praise them and hate it for real. Look for other ways to acknowledge them... but also force them to suck up the praise once in a while.
- Some people squirm when you praise them and hate it for real. Look for other ways to acknowledge them... but also force them to suck up the praise once in a while.
- some people love the praise, but don't know how to receive it gracefully. Watch closely to work it out. Look for ways to praise them where they don't have to manage their reaction.
- for some people, praise is only real if it's public. For others, it's only real in private.
- for some people, praise is only real if it's public. For others, it's only real in private.
- some people can only perform with a steady feed of praise... which is hard to square when they are under performing and need clear truth.
- some people you will never figure out. But they still need praise. Somehow. Maybe not from you though.
- some people you will never figure out. But they still need praise. Somehow. Maybe not from you though.
I still think the best interview question ever is the one I stole from @ferlatte : "how do you like to receive feedback, both positive and negative?"
It does mean you will select for the highly self aware, so be careful. Still.
It does mean you will select for the highly self aware, so be careful. Still.
Point being, you should try to have a relationship that let's you open up with what you really want to say, good or bad. The goal is always, no surprises.
We are all gonna fail this at times. But I don't know that shit padding is ever gonna mend what's broke.
We are all gonna fail this at times. But I don't know that shit padding is ever gonna mend what's broke.
