Thread by @frodofied

I wish everyone under 25 could have been part of a conversation I just had.

I wish everyone could have been, well, actually two of them.

A lawyer friend of mine who I've known for about 20 years recently asked if I'd make a few phone calls in support of the resistance.

1/

He attends a fairly progressive megachurch in a large urban area, somewhere.

I have to be light with the details because I promised I wouldn't even tweet about it, but I'm feeling anxious & I just texted to say I wouldn't name names or share the location but I had to tweet.

2/

I confess I don't even know where to begin with this story. The list of names was fairly short and, in fact, numbered fewer than 25.

Some of the calls have been easy and straight forward. A few men & women among the congregation were interested in making political donations.

3/

They wanted to support Democrats but, while they followed politics they were not so consumed that they knew much of what was happening outside of their state with a few exceptions.

A universal exception, by the way, was @BetoORourke.

4/

Every person from that part of the list had donated to his campaign and some had maxed out.

They wanted to support some underdogs, however, and women. They all were anxious to donate to women candidates.

One man confessed that he owed it to @HillaryClinton.

5/

Like almost every other well to do white man be knew he had voted for Trump. Worse, he had been "particularly critical, harshly even" of her.

All he could do now was "apologize and write checks."

So those calls were simple & usually inspiring.

The other calls were not.

6/

The other calls were to male leaders of tbe church, deacons and what not. I was told that these men were on the fence politically but were fast becoming the minority view within the church and some parishioners were beginning to get impatient.

7/

My friend is on a few committees, knows all of the principles, & asked me to do my magic.

I was really hesitant & came very close to saying no. First, I haven't been doing those types of calls, nor really even engaging at an overly deep level in actual political debate.

8/

Second, and this may shock a few of you, but I actually NOT a magician. So, no magic.

None.

The first call was a disaster that I will have nightmares about and the fourth call was worse.

The first guy began by telling me he had been looking forward to the four a week.

9/

" But I have to tell you Bob (I fucking hate it when white guys over 50 auto convert my name took Bob without asking, and they almost always do) I'm less excited about it now that I see you're a time waster. You going win this by wasting people's valuable time Bob?"

10/

I should have just hung up then, but I was extremely upset by the comment and also confused.

"How am I wasting your time sir? I was asked, as a favor to a friend, to make this call with the understanding that you were aware of it and were a willing participant."

11/

"Your late Bob. 18 minutes late. I could have been doing something during those 18 minutes, but I was at my desk waiting for you."

As I was forming my response and listening I was also anxiously resending the texfs and email I had sent to him about the call.

12/

In every communication from my end I clearly indicated that I would call him between 8:30 and 930 am today.

When I was able to respond to him I asked him to please reread the messages I had resent him where I clearly indicated when I would call, which he had agreed to.

13/

"I know what those messages say, but in my experience a serious person would have called at 8:30. That's just bad manners. Bad salesmanship. If she had people like you on her staff I understand now why Clinton lost so badly."

Again, should have hung up then. I didn't.

14/

"First. I am not trying to sell you anything, nor am I profiting from these calls. I'm doing a favor for my friend, the people in your church and my fellow Anericans by calling you to basically beg for you not to repeat the mistake you made in 2016."

15/

"SECOND, there are several names on tbe list D_____ gave me. I had scheduled two calls before you, and while I didn't anticipate those two would be lengthy, you never know how these types of calls will go. Some chats can last 5 minutes, some have lasted hours."

16/

"I couldn't know for instance, that I would spend the first nearly 15 minutes on the phone with anyone trying to tell me I was late making a phone call that I could still make 29 minutes from now and still be making on time. "

I should have hung up then. I didn't.

17/

"Third, @HillaryClinton did not lose badly. A great many pretty well informed Anericans don't really think she lost at all."

As I was saying all of this I was emailing him links to articles about punctuality & manners & the definition of the word late from 4 dictionaries.

18/

I won't try recall the next petty 15 minutes of conversation, because it was not a deeply intellectual back and forth.
But toward the end he said a couple of things that were both troubling and revealing.

19/

First, after the most deeply sexist attempts to argue sexism played no part in 2016, including nuggets like "I don't want a walrus barking in my ear, but that don't mean I hate every walrus. I say Clinton's voice makes me want to shoot myself & that means I hate women??"

20/

After all that be says:

"We weren't ever going to let her win buddy. Don't you get it?"

"Who's we?" I asked.

"Real men."

I was stunned. HE then says "Midterms are not going to go the way you want. I predict Dems are going to lose 2 Senate seats & win the House narrowly.

21/

And this is the part of this call I wish every perspn under 25 could have heard.

"And that massive turnout from young people you guys are counting on?"

He laughed.

"They're going to stay home. Or vote 3rd party. Or turn out to be assholes like their good ole Dads."

22/

"These kids are lazy, self involved and easily influenced. I can convince most of my son's friends of something in less than five minutes with almost no resistance. And minority kids don't care. They just don't."

Again,I was stunned.

But then something happened.

23/

God bless her.

She saved me from myself because that call was about to get real ugly from my end.

Suddenly another voice came over the phone and suddenly the call shifted from mildly conspiratorial political hackery to like full on Peytons Place in like 5 seconds flat.

24/

"Robert, this is J__ D_____, and unfortunately Iam married to the terrible man who has been speaking to you so unkindly for far too long. Forgive me but I've been listening in from my office in another part of the house."

25/

He tried to say something else but she cut him off immediately.

"STOP. You've humiliated this family and our church enough already. "

He stopped.

"ROBERT you should know that he had just gotten back from god knows where about two minutes before you called."

26/

"That little fiction he invented is a tactic he uses when he's trying to get the power position on some deal. I've been married to him for xx years and I've heard some variation on that countless times. I should've intervened on your behalf then but I was curious I'm sorry.

27/

"WHEN I spoke with D____ about you and he said you were willing to help give these idiot holdouts in our congregation an outside perspective, my husband's name was not on the list. I asked to add him later. I apologize. The person who spoke to you is who I married.

28/

And I guess I never saw it or he never showed me. When he called you Bob my stomach sank. D____ warned him off it twice. What a small man. Thank you for trying to do something most would not. I bought your book the other day and I think you're sensational.

I hope we meet some day, but either way I want you to hang up this phone knowing that you tried, but the Devil had already won. Your mother would be proud."

And then she said THIS.

"Now I'm going to go remove some clothing from a closet in my bedroom."

WAIT FOR IT...

30/

"Maybe I'll let his mistress live to regret him now."

"MISTRESS!?" he yells "Are you insane?"

THEN...

She just kind of ignores him and says, "Hes using the viagra prescription he keeps in a Lipitor bottle on someone and I can promise you it is not me. Goodbye Robert."

AND THEN two clicks and that was that.

About five minutes later I got a text from my friend that said "Just got a weird message from J___. It reads, "Please let your wonderful friend know that my daughter & both my sons voted for Hillary. I really want him to know that."

Stunned. Still.

Have another one to share but I'll do his racist ass later.

So, the lesson to take from this are:

1. Damn, know who you are married to before 3 decades go by and you discover it's Satan's evil spawn.

2. #MisogynyIs alive and you might be married to it.

3. If you are young these men, these arrogant assholes, think they know you. They think they control you. They KNOW you are not going to vote on #November6th.

Please, I'm begging you.

Prove this snake wrong.

Prove all of them wrong.

#Resist