》》Lay you down
•When it feels so right
It can never be wrong•
For the 1st time, Jimin tries marijuana at a party, enjoying with his friends.
Until he wakes up naked against his bf's big brother, Min Yoongi. The one he was supposed to meet the same day.
Forbidden but unstoppable feelings.
Maybe because his friends had long insisted that he accompany them.
But what was certain was that he should never have gone to that party.
He should never have been persuaded by Hoseok that this party with college students was the perfect opportunity for them to test marijuana.
If he had endured their excess, Taehyung had left the ship after two hours, and Hoseok now slept in an upstairs room after vomiting to exhaustion.
"What's your name, pretty boy?"
He was a tall, patibular young man who didn’t wait for his an answer to invade his personal space. To slip a hand on his hip, to scare him even more.
"You dance ? I've been watching you for minutes, and I'd love to see you move.
-I .. no, I don’t want to .. There’s someone waiting for me..
-Why are you lying? You've been alone for a long time already. If you want, we can do this privately..."
Until a wall hits his back.
A wall that moved in Jimin’s back.
-He’s with me.
-O-okay .. "
A new hand landed on Jimin's shoulder, coming from behind him, and the predator facing him fled, visibly scared by what wasn’t a wall, but another guy of this party.
But without knowing why, when the new stranger came to face him, a wave of relief mounted in him.
From his big lost eyes, he tried to understand what he recognized in this guy, but he couldn’t find what he was so familiar with him.
He now understood why his predator had run away on seeing him.
"Are you ok?"
"Y-yes ... thank you."
"You look a little bit lost. Do you want me to go find Namjoon?"
"I .. I don’t know who's Namjoon."
"With whom did you come?"
"With my friends."
"Where are they?"
"One left earlier and the other was sick I ... I don’t know where he is."
"I don’t think so"
"Fuck. Come with me."
Hearing him swear, Jimin had a small smile, and gladly let the older man grab his wrist to guide him through the crowd and through this big house.
The stranger’s warm hand left Jimin's wrist, which sighed in relief in that quiet space, leaning against the worktop.
When Jimin opened his eyes, there was no one else in the kitchen other than his savior and himself.
Jimin stared at the glass, wondering if he should trust him for this. But when he met his gaze, he saw nothing malicious in it. So he took the glass, and tried to drink the opaque mixture in one go.
"Oh my God. It's disgusting. What is this?"
"Secret mix. You'll thank me in a few hours."
"I'd really like to see that…"
"What's your name?"
Jimin took two seconds to think, and preferred to lie. He couldn’t trust him 100%, he didn’t know anything about this charismatic man after all.
"Oh yes, that’s true.."
Jimin remembered the name the predator said a few minutes ago when he saw this guy. At least he was not lying, and that reassured the high school student a bit. He nodded and climbed onto the worktop.
"Why are you here to help me instead of having fun with your friends?"
"Because you’re young and innocent. You remind me of my little brother."
"What makes you think I'm young, younger than you all?"
"Because you don’t know the party host or the guests. Namjoon invited the whole college to expose his damn villa."
Yoongi looked at Jimin for a few seconds, rather amused, but not fooled.
"He's in his last year at college. In music section."
"Well, you see, I’m also in last year."
"In ... in high school. I'm a senior in high school."
Jimin sighed, not understanding what was so obvious about him. He was at that age where we liked to look older, cooler, less kid. Maybe if he stopped wearing oversized sweaters...
"Oh yes, I'm sure you'll bring me a lot of trouble."
Upset, Jimin tried to reach Yoongi with his foot to hit him, but Yoongi pulled back laughing.
"It was just a strategy for you to take care of me. I'm just extremely good as a comedian."
"Are you sure what you're saying?"
"Do you want me to take care of you?"
"I .. I ..."
And Jimin didn’t know if he wanted to push him away, or draw him even closer.
Who was this guy, to make him such an effect.
After these words, Yoongi pulled back, causing a void, a frustration in Jimin's whole body, who opened his eyes.
Yoongi had resumed his original position, looking like nothing, while Jimin was blushing, very confused.
"Okay. There’s really something you need to know about me, if you don’t want to be alone again, surrounded by all these idiots."
"What is it."
"You can’t lie to me, /Taehyung/."
"How are you doing that."
"Everything, you ... you're annoying."
"It means I'm right, and that's what's annoying with you."
"Yes. All you said was right and it's really not fair."
"What's your name ?"
"It's better. It fits you well."
"I can’t go home. If my parents see me like that, I'm dead. More than dead."
Yoongi sighed, rubbing his neck while thinking.
"What if I want to stay longer with you here?"
"So we can do that."
Jimin was surprised but satisfied with this answer. He was having a good time here with this guy, slowly regaining control of his body.
"Do you want me to say a secret?"
"I only enjoy two people here, and they're pretty busy right now."
"Oh. I see."
"So, I have plenty of time to deal with desperate cases like you."
"Eh. Don’t be mean. You like me."
"Why do you say that."
"Because I'm like your little brother. But I’m way cuter."
"Tell me, Yoongi."
"Tell you what ?"
"How cute I am."
"Because you think it."
"You have self-confidence, that's good."
Once again, Yoongi rolled his eyes, and that made Jimin smile. It was exactly what he had been trying to do. Yoongi was handsome when he pretended to be jaded. And that amused Jimin a lot.
"Go, tell me."
"God, Jimin, you're such a child."
The youngest laughed, having rediscovered the joy and mischief that characterized him.
"Ask me that again and I'll shut you up by force."
"How would you do that?"
And Jimin knew how. And that didn’t stop him.
"Because I'm too drunk and high, and you're a good person."
"You don’t know me, you can’t be sure."
"I know you are."
"You won’t have me like that."
"I’d find a way to make you say it."
"I don’t need luck. I know what I’m able to do."
"I'm full of surprise Yoongi. You’re not ready."
"Try not to disappoint me."
Or to forget how cute he was.
Cause he was. Yoongi wasn’t insensitive to him.
And ordinarily, Yoongi was leaving.
A second later, Yoongi was alone.
He had deliberately hit the blonde's back. And he didn’t regret.
Nor even when they thought they were snipers, making many victims with beer capsules.
Or maybe a little..
"Would you like to do something for me?"
"You're so manipulative. A real snake charmer."
"I won’t give up."
Yoongi stared at Jimin without answering, continuing to adjust to the movements of the youngest, who had kept his hands around his neck.
"I check your condition."
"I'm fine. I'm better. You took good care of me."
"Great. I can stop there then. See you."
Jimin tightened his arms around Yoongi who had pretended to leave.
"Namjoon’s back. You shot him on the head just now. "
"Oh yes, I remember... oh."
Jimin narrowed his mouth in a sad pout, and released Yoongi.
"You've already lost a lot of time with me."
Jimin looked down, realizing that the evening was coming to an end for him.
"Okey .. Thank you then. I had fun. I hope I didn’t bother you too much. Sorry if that's the case."
Jimin pleased him. And he wanted more.
The high school student looked up, putting his big innocent eyes on Yoongi.
He hardly had the time to answer that he found himself pressed against the work plan by Yoongi, but without abruptness. Surprised, he blinked, gasping.
"You're cute, Jimin."
In the initial plan, Jimin was supposed to brag to celebrate his victory. But he couldn’t.
Drunk on him.
And things were getting worse when he saw Yoongi's eyes descend on his mouth. Envy eyes.
"I don’t want to join my friends tonight."
"What do you wanna do."
"I wanna kiss you."
"What are you waiting for?"
"Do you want me to?"
"Do it. Please do it."
There were only the both of them on earth, and it felt so right.
Hooking up at a party, it wasn’t something he was used to.
Never before he looks at Jimin.
And to make him want to feel his skin against his, right now.
Their gestures were clumsy, almost abrupt, dictated by envy, disrupted by their drunkenness.
Without thinking a second about Jungkook.
After climbing the stairs of the huge house, Yoongi, who seemed to know where he was going, made his way to the far end of the hallway.
Just laughing at his skin, Jimin continued to play his charms, retaining none of the desires that Yoongi gave him.
Yoongi had trouble catching the key in the bottom of the vase, not helped by Jimin's behavior, by his little bites.
From inside, he closed the door and left the key in the lock, hurrying to pull Jimin to Namjoon's bed.
The sheets were still hot, and in normal times, it would have disgusted Yoongi.
Jimin wanted Yoongi, as much as Yoongi wanted Jimin.
Unconsciously, both knew that they only had that night for them to be together.
Never Yoongi had desired someone so much. He never thought it was possible to fall for someone so fast. The crush was huge.
When he felt close to cum, he grabbed Jimin's hands to maintain them over his head, and looked him in the eyes.
"What are you doing, let me go, touch me, do something..."
"I wanna fuck you so bad Jimin."
"What are you waiting for ?"
He wanted to cum, badly.
"I'm close .. Yoongi please, hold on, I'm so close..."
Yoongi bit his cheek hard and sat up, taking off his chest from Jimin's. It was out of the question that he didn’t make Jimin cum, his own pleasure wouldn’t be enough to satisfy him.
Under his eyes, Jimin was writhing with pleasure, grabbing the sheets around him. He never been so hot and vulnerable.
And he learned what the sensation of cumming in him was.
Even though they managed to soothe a little the fire that had pushed them into each other's arms, it was far from being extinguished.
Neither had ever known such a passion, and neither had made a worse mistake than that night.
But he didn’t succeed, blocked by a warm presence on his back, and a firm arm around his body. An arm that hugged him harder, a familiar groan coming to his ear.
But when his fingers touched rings worn by the hand on his chest, a strange sensation lingered in Jimin's mind.
And panic rose in him.
Jimin froze, releasing that hand immediately, and removed that arm from his body to get out of bed, falling to the floor in his haste.
"Wha you doin ..."
He remembered him.
He had slept with this guy several times in the middle of the night, and knew that alcohol and marijuana didn’t serve him as an excuse.
He remembered very well that he had had a second of lucidity before pushing morality further to be able to enjoy his night.
And in the morning, that was all he had left. Guilt.
Before leaving the room where he had committed his sins, Jimin looked one last time at the face of the man who had made him lose his head.
Under Jimin's wide-eyed, children ones after a big mistake, Hoseok came out of another room.
"Are you ok? Where is Tae? "
Jimin ran his tongue over his dry lips, trying to get back to reality.
"He ... he left, don’t you remember? You probably don’t. You were so drunk.."
"Yeah, I can feel it in my brain... You really don’t want to be me right now."
But Jimin really wanted to be him, right now. Anyone but himself.
"We should go now."
"Do you want to come to the apartment? We will force Tae to feed us for giving us up like that. "
"No thanks. I'm going to go home. I need to sleep before tonight."
"Tonight ? Oh, the big meeting!"
And how could he deserve him after what he had done last night?
Jimin stretched a smile, pushing his hands deep in his pockets.
He had made a mistake. A big one. But no one had witnessed it. All he had to do was to forgive himself and move on.
Taking a bath was a good compromise, provided that he could drown in silence.
He wasn’t surprised by the number of calls from Jungkook. Just sadder.
Jungkook answered the first tone.
"Chim, baby, are you ok? I was so worried! "
"I called Taehyung, and he told me Hoseok didn’t come home neither, god I was scared to death!"
"Hoseok was sick. I had to take care of him all night, then he fell asleep..."
"Funny night.. You should have stayed with me."
"Yeah. I should have."
"No, he is unreachable too. I really don’t know what to do with you two. But it confirms once again that you are made to get along! "
"Do you want me to come over? You sound stressed."
"No, no, it's ok. I'm just tired. I'm going to take a bath, and some rest."
"Promise. I'll be there on time."
"I love you. You'll be perfect. You already are."
"Love ya .."
Jimin hung up, put his cell phone on the console and ran his hands over his face.
How could he have cheated on someone as sweet and gentle as Jungkook?
The slightly painful sensation relieved his mind for a few seconds of the weight of his last acts.
In his mind, he had seen Yoongi's fingers running on his skin. And with all his soul, he wanted to hate that feeling.
But he missed it. Terribly.
He'd have liked to be everywhere, but not there.
But he felt perfectly the guilt that stuck to his skin, which was to be read in the features of his face, in each of his steps.
All he was going to do was forgetting, never mentioning this accident, and especially never starting again. It was a lesson to him.
The most discreet way to hide the huge violet spot on his neck.
Hickeys, tooth marks, light scratches on the top of his buttocks. He didn’t understand why it didn’t disgust him.
The sex with Jungkook had never had the same flavor, the same intensity. He was new to this.
It had been so, before crossing the eyes of Yoongi. And now he didn’t know who he was anymore. He no longer had the feeling of knowing himself, and it was scary.
“Chim, I’m so happy to see you…”
"My baby ... you're frozen!"
"I ... I walked to here."
"Why didn’t you take the bus?"
"I needed to ... walk."
And when he looked into his eyes, Jimin felt his hour come, thinking his crime written on his forehead.
Then he just smiled to reassure him, and took his hand in his.
Nobody could doubt him, he was Jimin.
"You're beautiful, look at you. You put the turtleneck that I prefer! Red suits you so well."
"I knew you’d like..."
Jimin closed his eyes, immediately regretting going deeper into guilt. Jungkook noticed directly the panic that took his boyfriend, accustomed to his hypersensitivity.
“You’re here now. I’m here too. We’re together. As always. Ok ?”
He loved him. He was sure of it. And hurting him was the last thing he wanted to do.
Even if he wasn’t ready, he had to face this evening, to use it to move on and divert his mind from what had haunted him since he opened his eyes this morning.
To move on from memories of this man.
"Kook, oh! You present me your guy or you intend to spend the evening in front of the door just both?! "
As Jimin stared at the door with wide eyes, Jungkook laughed.
Jungkook saw nothing of Jimin's alertness, and pressed a quick peck on his mouth before pulling him with him into the house, to his brother. This passage from the porch to the living room lasted a few seconds.
He knew who this voice belonged to. The memories were still fresh, strong, dizzying.
It was him.
Jimin never had his eyes as wide as when he put them on Yoongi.
A heavy silence weighed on the room, which only Jimin and Yoongi were able to perceive. They exchanged a long look, each pierced by strong emotions.
Who had hypnotized him in one look.
But today he was the monster who had slept with his boyfriend's brother.
The high school student blushed, his heart beating harder than when Yoongi had done all those things to him the night before.
Jimin couldn’t guess what Yoongi might think, his face looking so cold and distant.
"N - .. nice to meet you..."
"We already know each other. Don’t you remember ? It's not so old, though."
A cold sweat trickled down Jimin's neck, staring at Yoongi in despair.
"You know each other ?! Seriously ? From where ?"
"We were at the same party last night."
"Oh my god, Jimin, did you guys hang out at Namjoon? This damn party to which Yoongi preferred to go rather than come earlier here..."
"This evening will have stolen my brother, my boyfriend and this official presentation. Great. Don’t forget to tell Namjoon I hate him."
"Kook, you have to know that..."
"... that I exaggerate a bit, when I say “know.” I saw Jimin take care of his drunk friend, but we didn’t talk. He probably shouldn’t have seen me, given the amount of people there was. Did you?"
"I.. yes, I- I don’t remember your face.."
Yoongi seemed to nod, almost imperceptibly.
"Very dedicated, indeed."
If Jimin was a little relieved, Yoongi's look and answers made it clear that he wasn’t out of the woods.
Jungkook looked down at him and was moved to think Jimin was so stressed about meeting his brother. So he hugged his boyfriend, kissing his cheek hard.
"My shy baby..."
A look that burned his skin, which showed disgust, anger, incomprehension. And which promised him that he wouldn’t get out of this mess that quickly.
For Jungkook, things went well, Yoongi was very interested in his boyfriend, in their relationship, and even tried to communicate with Jimin, who was very shy.
And he was upset to find him beautiful again now, after all that.
"I'm going to make coffee."
"Oh, no, I ... I have to go now, before the last bus passes."
"Weren’t you supposed to sleep here?"
"Yes, but since I didn’t go home last night, I didn’t see my parents this weekend, and you know them..."
"I can’t, Jungkook, I'm sorry. I’m still very tired, I have been struggling since now..."
"Otherwise I can drive him home by car."
As Jimin froze, Jungkook turned to his brother with a smile.
"Of course. I would not want my brother's boyfriend to get lost on the way. "
Jimin swallowed, finally staring at Yoongi, smiling politely.
"That's nice, but it's not worth it, really."
"Affirmative. That's either that, or I'm forcibly holding you here, Chim. You choose."
Jimin looked at the two brothers in turn, and realized that it was useless to fight.
"Okay. I'm going home with your brother."
"And with me, I'm coming with you!"
"Jungkook, there is still no seat in the back of my car."
"Jimin will sit on my lap!"
"No way, you stay here, I don’t risk my license so you can smooch your guy."
Jimin looked at Yoongi as he walked past him, understanding what he meant by using these words. Say goodbye to Jungkook, but also to their relationship.
In silence, Jimin settled on the passenger seat, fastening his belt while staring at his knees.
"I need an address."
"You ... are you really going to take me home?"
"Would you like me to do something else, get you lost in the woods?"
"I want you to break up with him."
Jimin stared at Yoongi, tears rising to his eyes.
"I ... I can’t .."
"B-because I don’t wanna lose him."
"This is not about what you want Jimin. You're going to break up with him, telling him all the bullshit you want for him to suffer as little as possible, before he realizes who you really are."
"No.. no, I won’t. I won’t leave him. I'm in love with your brother, Yoongi, I'm not able to do this. "
"Because for you, cheating on someone with the first comer is to love them?"
"You seemed pretty comfortable for someone who’s not like that. Don’t tell me you suddenly forgot about him last night."
"So you decided to meet me in advance."
"I didn’t know it was you."
Jimin swallowed, shaking. Everything was falling around him.
"Poor little Jimin. You have released your best charm game for me to fuck you, and lack of luck, I am the brother of the “deceived husband”. You didnt expect that."
"That's what I intended to do, because it should never have happened, and it will never happen again. I care about him. He is everything to me."
"I ... I'm not trying to convince you to keep all of this for you."
"Do what you want."
This conversation had a taste of unfinished, leaving Yoongi in limbo.
Yoongi didn’t say anything.
Their one-night adventure would remain secret forever.
Yoongi had offered him this opportunity.
And before Jungkook could broach the subject, Hoseok saved Jimin's life.
"Hoseok, why do you always use me as an excuse..."
"Because no one can ever refuse you, it's strategic."
Jungkook chuckled, clutching Jimin as he listened to them.
"If we end up in such states, it's to make up for the fact that your boyfriend never wants to go out with us."
"Yeah, we have to drink our share, and his!"
Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok looked at Jungkook with wide eyes. It never happened before, Jungkook going out this them at night.
"No, I'm not! I just feel like it."
"Your brother left already?"
"No, neither, but he's going out with his friends. I can ask him to pass by us in the evening, so you’ll finally see him too. My baby already passed the big brother test…”
"I don’t really know ... We had a lot of fun last week, and because of that I couldn’t stay at yours after that, I thought we were going to spend the evening together, quietly in front of Netflix..."
Jimin sighed, but not without a smile, and nodded.
"You always have hours of sleep to catch up, Jimin."
Taehyung, who sneered like a hyena, took Jimin's cap in the face.
"See you all tonight !!"
"I'll text you the bar's location!"
Jungkook gave a last wave to his friends, especially to Jimin, before disappearing into the car.
"Kook, you said a drink or two. It's the 4th."
"But we have fun, we spend a great time, the four of us, we have no reason to stop here Chim. Don’t you agree? "
"I'll take a beer again!"
"Again ? You're sure ?"
"Yes, I must be sure to be sober to take care of you when you won’t know where you live anymore."
Jungkook pulled out his tongue and went to order.
Until Taehyung suddenly stands up in his seat, staring up at something behind Jimin and Hoseok.
"Tae, are you ok?"
"I think he's on drugs."
"Yeah, he probably his."
"Shut the fuck up and turn around very slowly. The love of my life just passed the door. "
If Jimin tried to play it discreet, it was not the case for Hoseok who turned around directly.
If Jimin thought he could have a good evening, he immediately forgot about it because of his presence.
Yoongi was there, more beautiful than ever, and Jimin felt his aura on every inch of his skin.
And this time, no alcohol, no marijuana, nothing to justify Jimin's feelings about Yoongi. Inappropriate feelings.
“I know his name.”
“What ? You know him ? Tell me Jimin, I wanna know everything about this guy !”
“He’s Jungkook’s big brother.”
The evening was going to be more complicated than expected.
He didn’t take part in the conversation, waiting for Jungkook to come back, praying for him to come back alone.
Jimin didn’t dare look at him when he gave him his coke.
Yoongi smiled amused as he watched Taehyung, who made no effort to hide the fact that the newcomer was making him crazy. He blushed like a little girl.
"No, no need, my friends are out, I just came to say hello."
"Oh ... are you going to Namjoon's house after?"
"No, Jin wants to go dancing, we'll go to the Sunset."
"Maybe we could let you in, if you want."
"I don’t know, it would be cool, but Jimin is tired and he stays home tonight..."
“It’s ok, we can go.”
Jimin decided to take his can with him, hiding his dissatisfaction with the situation.
If he had wondered how the evening was going to go, things were now clear.
Namjoon opened his mouth, turning his chin to Yoongi, pointing at Jimin, an amused smile coming from the corner of his lips.
“But he looks like…”
“It’s not him.”
Yoongi tried to silence Namjoon, whispering with obvious tension. Namjoon looked very confused, and Jimin quickly lowered his head, pulling up his hood over his head.
Namjoon opened his eyes wide, looking at Yoongi with his grave expression, completely shocked by this information. Yoongi sighed before taking him aside, leading the way. Jungkook, who hadn’t seen anything, came to take Jimin's hand.
Jimin jumped, realizing Jungkook was trying to get his attention.
"I asked you if you really don’t mind that we're staying a little longer than expected."
"No no, worry, it's not every day that you have the opportunity to have fun like that, and that you can spend that kind of time with your brother either .."
"Don’t pay attention, Yoongi often argues with his friends."
"I love my brother, but he has a bally temper. And Namjoon is very immature when he wants, so the two together .. I don’t even know why they’re friends. "
Taehyung was handsome and spontaneous, funny, charming. Yoongi had every reason to crack.
Tiredness made him lose his head. He had to recover, to realize that he had nothing to do with this guy, that only Jungkook counted.
And his frustration found in this kiss a way to free himself, to express his tension.
"Jimin, baby, what are you doing ..."
Or why it was Yoongi's face he had seen, closing his eyes.
"Don’t be. Sorry I didn’t understand that that's why you wanted us back."
Jimin frowned for a second before understanding, and laughing nervously.
"No no, it's not what you think I .."
“It’s ok babe. We’ll leave soon.”
The Jimin that Jungkook knew was the opposite of the Jimin that Yoongi had known for one night.
Jimin didn’t give Jungkook time to hold him back, passing behind him to leave the dance floor. Going to the outer courtyard, he passed Taehyung and Yoongi, his best friend whispering in the ear of his new crush.
Jimin felt even worse to see them so close, and then even worse to be affected by it.
But he hardly took two steps when one hand grasped his arm firmly.
"What are you doing…"
"Come with me."
Yoongi didn’t leave the choice to the high school student, pulling him with him to a corner of the court, behind a piece of wall which hid them from the sight of all.
"What the fuck do you want, are you crazy?"
"You have to stop this."
"I have to stop what?"
"To look at me like that."
"Excuse me ?"
"I didn’t tell him anything, so if you want it to stay that way, you better be more discreet."
"Wait I'm the one who’s not discreet? You talk about me to your friends two meters from your brother ! "
"Are you serious ? You stared at me too ! The second you enter that bar ! "
"Don’t think I was staring at you, I keep an eye on you, for Jungkook, that's different."
Jimin raised his chin, not in the mood to continue hearing these accusations.
"Leave me alone."
"I don’t wanna leave."
"Oh my god, why are you doing this?"
"I don’t know."
"You don’t know ??"
Jimin looked at him with all the incomprehension of the world, not understanding him at all.
"No, I’m not ok this this."
Jimin was about to get angry again, but Yoongi cut him off.
"I was looking at you. Me too. I ... I'm sorry to accuse you when I'm unable to remain impassive to your presence."
Jimin held his breath, frightened by the turn of things. Yoongi was out of his mind.
Yoongi didn’t move, and when Jimin tried to pass, the older man blocked the passage with his arm.
"What the fuck are you- .."
And lost in his eyes, finding the glimmer of desire that had made him crazy the first time, Jimin couldn’t hold back a small moan.
Jimin's complaint died on the lips of Yoongi, who had completely lost his mind.
The moment their lips came in contact, they couldn’t control anything, guided both by the same thirst as their first meeting.
Their eyes were closed, and their minds were far away.
The older put his hand on his burning cheek, feeling the trace left by Jimin, whom he stared without saying a word, cooled down.
"What was that ?! Your strategy to make me look like the slut of the story ?! "
Yoongi remained frozen, unable to answer his question, realizing only what he had just done: give in to the envy he had of Jimin.
Yoongi didn’t have time to defend himself that Jimin had pushed him to leave, letting him just the opportunity to see tears of anger and fatigue running down his cheeks.
Yoongi just stood there, like an idiot, watching the young man join the inside.
He then leaned in Jimin's ear to talk to him, taking his hand tenderly.
"I'm going home."
"Something happened ? You cried ?"
"It's nothing, I'm just tired, my head hurts, I wanna leave ..."
"I’m coming with you."
"You don’t have to, you can stay."
"Baby. I'll take you home, make you an herbal tea, and we go to bed."
His boyfriend pressed a kiss on his forehead, soft and comforting.
Jimin nodded and stepped off the track, going to the spot. He watched as Jungkook informed their friends, who seemed disappointed but ready to follow them and go home too.
"Jimin is KO, I bring him home, see you tomorrow, text me if you’re not sleeping at home !"
He had kissed his brother's boyfriend, knowingly and in full possession of his means. He had done something wrong, and wasn’t sure to regret his actions.
This situation was a whole mess, and Yoongi didn’t know at all how he was going to get by without anyone suffering.
Not Yoongi's, especially.
Slowly, he removed his boyfriend's arm so he could get up without waking him, and get out of the room on tiptoe.
Standing directly in front of the sink, he grabbed a glass and filled it with water, eager to drink.
And it was at that moment that he met Yoongi's gaze, who had been observing him for a few seconds as soon as he saw him disembark while he was having breakfast.
The blonde had already cut his feet on the chips, hopping and whining with pain.
"Jimin, stop moving, I'll he-"
"No, you, don’t move! Do /not/ approach me! "
Yoongi stood in the middle of the kitchen, pausing at these words, as Jimin stood on tiptoe standing at the sink, blood running down the soles of his feet.
Yoongi sighed and stepped forward, deciding not to listen to the high school student who frowned.
"Jimin, you're bleeding, don’t be stupid and let me help you."
Even though he swelled his cheeks, Jimin grabbed the arm Yoongi handed him, taking hold to carefully step out of the critical area and reach a new one, close to the oldest.
Yoongi put a hand on Jimin's hip, helping him climb onto the worktop.
Jimin winced, looking at the condition of his feet, having lots of small pieces of glass embedded in his skin, and a lot of blood escaping from his multiple wounds.
Then he pulled a chair across from him and took one of his feet, taking care of it with attention and gentleness.
Jimin couldn’t look at Yoongi, his cheeks red with embarrassment and embarrassment at being in this situation.
Yoongi meanwhile wasn’t proud, feeling guilty about his actions of the day before.
"Jimin, you know, I ... I'm sorry."
Arcing an eyebrow, the blond glanced at his boyfriend's brother, wary of what he might have to say.
Yoongi didn’t really know what he was doing with his explanations, as didn’t expect to give any on the next morning.
Jimin doesn’t say a word, even if he wasn’t resistant to Yoongi apologizing to him. It was even nice. It gave him a little comfort.
He agreed with everything Yoongi had just said. He hoped he wouldn’t have to end up in a situation like the day before, to be blinded by his forbidden desires.
When he had said these words, Yoongi had looked Jimin in the eye.
And Jimin pretended to believe his lies, and to adhere to them.
The two liers exchanged a long look, until Yoongi got up from his chair, and reached out to Jimin.
"We make peace then. I don’t ask you to become my friend, I suppose it would be inappropriate, but ... we get along well."
"Okay. I forgive you. We put it all behind us and we pretend it never happened."
Yoongi had a strange smile too, nodding.
But they were both ready to do what was necessary so that nothing would betray them, and that their unfortunate story would stop here.
Jimin immediately drew a softer smile, relieved by this discussion, which he could put into practice right now.
"Hi guys. Oh, baby, what happened to you? "
It was more like seeing Jimin and Jungkook being the couple they were.
It was stronger than him.
If he'd been able to see Jimin totally comfortable and natural, it might have helped him to make sense of it. But that wasn’t the case. He was hesitating, seeming embarrassed.
Jimin made him crazy, making him forget their morning agreement.
Jungkook was everything to him, and he wasn't going to lose him for a booty.
It was gross, but it was always better than seeing Jimin and Jungkook doing the same all day.
Jin smacked Namjoon's arm, while Yoongi crashed next to them.
"Always so dramatic. You know, it's not that bad. It happens to everyone to fuck the guy of his little brother. Bro code is a bit out of fashion."
"Baby, you're heavy."
"Thank you Jin."
"You would have been unable to shut your mouth and the whole city would have known about it."
"Obviously without knowing it, I would have never touched him otherwise."
"And he knew who you were ?"
"No. He didn’t know me."
"That's why you didn’t want to talk about it after going to your house. While when you woke up, you told us, I quote, "Best fuck of my life." “
"I never said that."
"Okay maybe I was exaggerating a bit .. I don’t even remember it."
"No, nothing at all, he didn’t especially try to have me either, apparently he had never cheated Jungkook before, it was ... I don’t know."
"They may have been swept away by the evening, they've been together for hours. Alcohol and Yoongi's smiles and that's it."
"I hope you don’t speak knowingly."
"I wanted to tell Jungkook everything, but I want to give him a chance. My brother is really crazy about him. If it was not the first time, or if there is another one after, I'll tell him."
"That’s the idea. Even if it makes me so uncomfortable that I prefer not to see them."
"Don’t be too disturbed, we'll think you're jealous."
Jimin was going to interpret things that way, especially after what he had done the day before. But to justify himself to Jungkook, he could pretend to find it strange to share his beloved brother.
Getting lost in his thoughts, Yoongi shook his chin. He was going to have to quickly find a way to stop thinking about it all.
"Taehyung, hm. He looked nice. But it may not be a good idea to spend even more time with them."
"It's true that it would be better if you thought about Taehyung's ass than Jimin's ass. It would be less creepy."
These so sweet and generous thighs.
Jimin's effect on his mind was a hateful mystery
Taehyung could be this way.
"I won’t go out with Taehyung to change my mind. It sucks.”
Namjoon rolled his eyes, finding his friend far too wise.
"What? No, not at all, never."
"So it's useless to get worked up. You did a stupid thing, but it’s done, you won’t turn back the time. It's going to be awkward as long as you're not able to look in each other’s eyes normally."
Maybe thinking hard, he could tell himself that this night was not /so/ fantastic.
Convince himself, yes. Because obviously, Yoongi was obsessed with this boy, and had all the reasons in the world to be.
And yet, it had been a week since they crossed their paths while ignoring each other, that they were saying hello to each other at a distance, almost without speaking
Taking advantage of the absence of his mother until the end, he returned from classes every day with Jimin and insisted that he stays up to the curfew of his parents.
And he quickly established a link between Jimin's discomfort and the presence of his older brother.
He didn’t breathe every time he knew that Yoongi was not far from him.
But each time though, something brought him back to Yoongi. A smell, a word, a sound, a touch.
But as soon as he knew him nearby, his thoughts were confused and Jimin was completely aiming.
Jimin was scared of himself.
For once, he was happy to have strict parents and not to have dinner with the two brothers.
Yoongi was a parasite he didn’t want.
How could he have imagined such a thing? It was insane.
When Jungkook opened the door of his room, he jumped.
"Is there a problem?"
"No no, I just wanted ... can we talk a little bit?"
"Yes of course. Come here."
Jungkook stretched a smile and sneaked into the room, going to throw himself beside his brother, as he had always done when they had to talk.
"Yoongi, I'm over eight."
"I didn’t notice that. What do you want to talk about then? "
Yoongi immediately stopped laughing, finding himself silly not to have guessed earlier.
"Oh no, it's not that, everything is fine between Jimin and me."
Yoongi raised an eyebrow, refraining from making any comment, wondering why Jungkook wanted to talk about his charming boyfriend with him.
This beginning of the sentence alerted Yoongi, who tried not to react too much but feared a lot later.
"And I think I know why."
Jungkook looked at his brother hesitantly, seeming to be reluctant to let go of the piece.
"I think he's scared of you. I mean, “scared” is exaggerated. But you intimidate him. Because you're my big brother and you're pretty impressive."
If he could, Yoongi would have let out a sigh of relief.
"He knows that you count a lot for me, it must put pressure on him. He's really shy, he doesn’t dare to get into a discussion when he doesn’t know someone, and since you're not very talkative too... he probably has told himself that you don’t like him."
"But it's wrong, you like Jimin, he's great, isn’t he?"
"Er, yes, probably."
"So, since Jimin is too nervous when we are only the three of us, I had an idea."
"What idea ?"
"Tomorrow I'm going to have a little party at home, just with my friends."
"So what ?"
"I don’t know, what if he just doesn’t want to talk to me, it's not very serious… We don’t necessary have to get along, it’s your boyfriend not mine."
Jungkook offered his best pout so that his big brother agreed to get closer to his boyfriend. Without realizing that this was a monumental mistake.
And if Yoongi was very embarrassed by this request, he knew he couldn’t refuse it without sounding suspicious.
"Okay. Make your little party, I'll be there, I promise."
"And will you make an effort to make Jimin feel more comfortable with you?"
"And I'll tell your boyfriend he needs to break up with you because you're annoying."
"Thank you. You're the best."
"Yeah yeah, everybody already knows that."
As if they could get along and laugh together.
As if Jimin didn’t wait every second for it to happen again.
As if these proscribed desires didn’t feed in them a mutual hatred.
"Yes, Jungkook. This is the third time you've asked me, are you afraid I'll change my mind or what ? "
"You never know !"
"Keep it up and that's what I'm going to do."
"Guys, to enjoy a little before my mother returns next week, we could all go at mine, do something peaceful. Videogames. Alcohol. Ordered food."
Taehyung and Hoseok said yes directly, always agree for partying, a little too much sometimes.
"It’s ok for you baby?"
"Yeah, that's fine."
"I have to go back home to take care of my dog. I'm buying alcohol on the way."
"Will your big brother be here ?"
Jimin looked up at his boyfriend, glad that the question was asked, and that he wasn’t at the origin. Thank you Taehyung.
"No, he's out with his friends."
If Taehyung didn’t hide his disappointment, Jimin tried to hide his relief.
And Jungkook was counting on his brother to reassure Jimin and make him less fearful in his presence in the future.
Jimin felt lighter, ready to have a good evening with the people he loved most, without fear or blockage.
Jungkook didn’t say a work, and opened the door.
Jungkook pretended to be surprised on entering, after making a discreet wink at his brother.
"Weren’t you supposed to sulk alone all night ?"
"Nanana. I invited my friends to spend the evening here, Hoseok went to get some alcohol."
"I see. My plans are canceled."
"Cool. You can stay with us then."
Yoongi stood up and approached the group to greet the friend and boyfriend politely.
"That's it. Good to see you again, Yoongi."
Yoongi offered a smile to Taehyung who could have melted on the spot, looking at him with heart-eyes.
"How are you, Jimin ?"
"It's a challenge ?"
"A promise, little bro."
Taehyung and Jungkook had quickly disposed of their bags and jackets to sit on a couch.
He was going to have to spend the whole evening between his boyfriend and his fantasy.
"I, I'm coming, I'm just going drink a glass of water."
Jimin put down his bag and agreed to himself a few seconds of peace in the kitchen.
Seeing him leave, Yoongi had wanted to join him, reassure him and apologize again, but couldn’t afford it.
People who didn’t want to jump on each other.
They only shared one look, and Jimin was already in panic.
The evening was going to be long.
Jungkook had invited him to sit on his right, having taken care to leave only that place, between Yoongi and him.
Yoongi had wanted to help him, seeing him thus, uncomfortable and mocked by others.
And unfortunately for the young high school student, this Mario Kart event was not the only one he had to cross tonight.
"To approach Jimin, you have to be veeeery patient, and veeeeery motivated!"
Jimin didn’t dare to look up from the ground, thinking that Yoongi must remember how he hadn’t needed too many time to put his hands on him.
"No thanks, Jun, really, I don’t want it."
"I just don’t want to drink, is it a crime?"
"You're really not funny sometimes."
A little annoyed by the remark, Jimin wanted to answer, but Yoongi cut him off.
"You say that while having a drink in your hand, it's not super logical."
"I drink because I like to drink. If Jimin doesn’t like it, it would be silly to drink just to end up wasted."
"Yeah. You're right. Sorry. Coca will do the trick, right?"
"It's already better."
Where Jimin couldn’t hide himself against Jungkook, rely on him to make the discussion without him having to intervene too much, to address Yoongi directly.
But he didn’t see how to provoke that.
And it was up to Yoongi to grit his teeth as he saw Jungkook dancing with Jimin, kissing Jimin, right under his nose.
Nobody had ever made such an impact on him.
And Jimin shivered after daring to think he was in the wrong arms.
Jungkook had put his hands up on Jimin's back, making him even more ashamed, as he closed his eyes, forbidding himself to continue to sin in this way, even through his mind.
"A little ... it must be fatigue."
And fortunately for him, there was not any more, since a big noise behind Jungkook made them come off to see what was happening.
Yoongi grimaced, feeling almost guilty for not being able to cushion his fall as he could not get his eyes off Jimin.
"Well, it'll be over for tonight, I'll take him home."
Jungkook, instead of being disappointed, hurried to help him, jumping on the occasion.
"I will come with you! It will be easier!"
"What are you doing baby?"
"I'm coming with you."
"No no, stay there, it's not worth it. You told me you were tired, no? "
But Jimin chose not to turn around, fleeing directly to the stairs.
One foot on the first step, the high school student closed his eyes and squeezed the railing in his hand.
"We've already spoken, I have nothing more to say."
"Please, it's about Jungkook, I need to explain to you. It won't be long, promised."
Yoongi bit his cheek at seeing his attitude totally refractory to him, not being insensitive to it.
At these words, Jimin was frightened, his eyes widening. He who thought he could be discreet had failed miserably in his attempt to hide his betrayal.
"No, he didn’t .. he thinks you're scared of me, that I intimidate you or something like that ..."
"Oh god ..."
Jimin ran his hands over his face, hiding himself by taking support on his lap. This whole story made him crazy.
Jimin raised his head, looking at Yoongi very seriously.
"You know him, he won’t let it go, so if you don’t want to be forced to undergo this all the time, we will have to take on ourselves."
Jimin had raised his tone on his last sentence, and got up, tense.
Yoongi had remained at a distance, jaw clenched, integrating the hatred that Jimin was carrying towards him.
"It doesn’t make me happy either. But at least I have the decency to hide it."
But he hardly touched the first glass that Jimin, who had followed him, called out to him.
"I can’t because I hate you, Yoongi."
"I think it was pretty clear without you needing to-"
"I hate you because I can’t be myself when you're close to me."
"I hate you because when you're here, the only thing I think is the stupid urge to feel your hands on my skin."
"I hate you because I constantly want you to kiss me, because I dream of it nights and days .."
But Jimin pulled back, refusing him to approach.
"Don’t come near me."
Yoongi stopped his steps when a tear fell on Jimin's cheek.
"I love him, I don’t want to hurt him ... I hate to think about all these things, not control myself ... I can’t do that to him, Yoongi, I can’t ..."
"I wish I could do what you do. I would like to have totally forgotten what happened, to be able to pass over, never to think about it ever again."
Thinking he had done enough, he looked down and turned around.
He hardly took a step when Yoongi's arms passed around him, the older one sticking to his back.
But when it feels so right, it can never be wrong.
"I haven’t forgotten, Jimin, I can’t forget, never..."
"I want you. Every day, every hour, every second since that night, I want you, Jimin."
"Tell me you want me too ..."
"I want you... but we don’t have the right.."
"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I didn’t meet you before him."
As soon as Jimin no longer felt any part of Yoongi's body in contact with his, he felt frightfully empty. And alone. This feeling was terrible, he hated it.
Jimin's response had been almost inaudible, so much was he distressed.
Without turning around, for fear of cracking and making a mistake, Jimin left the living room.
This discussion was necessary, but now things may have been worse than before. In their minds, at least.
But how was he going to be able to survive every day knowing now that the boy he wanted more than anything wanted him back ?
It was Jimin himself who stopped coming, contrary to the habits of recent days. A change of attitude that worried Jungkook a bit, to whom Jimin pretend having a lot of work to do for high school.
But now that they had more or less confessed to each other what they felt, they had decided to close this story.
Friday arrived quickly, and the return of his mother with it.
And if each time he kept hoping that it would get better, it was never the case.
He was still in the kitchen when Jungkook returned from high school.
The high school student entered the room with a big smile, adoring to see his big brother cooking.
"This is Mom's favorite food? It's cool, it'll make her happy. "
Yoongi smiled, hoping he was right. Because that was exactly what he was trying to do.
"Good. Nothing in particular."
Yoongi shook his chin, concentrating on making his dish so as not to let go of the burning questions he had about the fact that Jimin wasn’t with him once again while he was always sleeping here on Fridays.
"I don’t want you to go away already."
"I haven’t planned to leave now."
It was always like that.
Jungkook came down from his room directly, super happy to see his mother who had missed him so much, and vice versa.
Jungkook saw him approaching and helped him, recoiling a little towards him.
Yoongi swallowed and put a hand on his neck.
"Good evening mother. You... have you had a good trip ?"
"Yoongi. You'll be nice to park your car better."
But the older man was used to dealing with the uncomfortable attitudes of his only parent. And not without weariness, not without fatigue.
"You ordered bulgogi for my return, thank you Kookie, you're an angel."
"We didn’t order, it's Yoongi who cooked this afternoon!"
It was only at the end of dinner that she finally spoke to Yoongi.
Yoongi, who had not uttered a word since he had said hello to his mother, got up with his plate, his face closed.
"As soon as possible. I wasn’t going to dwell here, I wouldn’t want to disturb your little peaceful life."
Never had anything kept him here, in this place he had left at the legal age, as soon as possible.
But he never met a Jimin before.
Not because he was allowed to fill his stomach after a long morning of maths lesson.
But because he could lie on the grass, enjoy the sun's rays and forget everything.
Anyway, his friends were talking enough so that he didn’t need to actively participate in the conversations.
At least, between the many hours he spent moping in his bed, thinking about Yoongi, about his words, about his eyes.
But it was impossible for him to meet Yoongi after their confessions of the last time.
He was still rethinking this moment, his constant depression preventing him from enjoying this short time of peace.
Jimin was infinitely sad.
Hoseok had asked the question by making fun of him, barely making Jimin smile, who was counting on the funniest of his friends to distract him from his darkest thoughts.
"Happy, yes and no..."
"Have you quarreled? You, mommy's prodigy son, have you been a naughty boy? "
"I'm really happy that my mother is back. But the problem is that now that she’s here, Yoongi will leave again. And that’s not really cool."
Fortunately for him, Taehyung was there to express his questions and disappointment in his place.
"Of course it's not a question of place. It's just that ... my mother and my brother have always had a rather special relationship. An awful one. They can’t live under the same roof, really."
Yoongi was a super brother, and a caring and protective person.
Especially with Jimin.
And Jimin felt sorry for Yoongi, probably the only one among them who could understand what a parent's rejection was doing.
"Not at all. We never argue. He constantly watches over me, even from a distance, and he comes back to see me whenever he can. That is, as soon as my mother is not here."
"Because he wants her love. He always hopes that things will change, that a miracle will happen. He’s still waiting to see her, and he puts the forms in it. He cooked for her Friday."
"But it's always the same thing. She returns, she speaks to him badly, and he disappears within an hour."
"He’s already gone ?!"
Just to think that Yoongi had left without being able to prepare for it, without being able to see him one last time, made grow in him fear and intense discomfort.
"Not yet. This is the first time he has stayed that long. However, since my mother was once again not receptive and on the contrary very nasty, they didn’t address each other a single look.
As Jungkook sighed again, having struggled to witness his big brother's suffering all weekend, Jimin let his eyes get lost in the void.
And he was waiting for him. Jimin knew it, without being able to explain it.
And he didn’t know if he should be happy to learn and understand that, or if he should die of fear without knowing what to do with this information.
And he was in this state until evening, alone at home, watching TV without really seeing it, with an apple in his hand.
And Jimin was terribly impatient for the storm to pass so that he could finally think properly.
He only wanted to know if Yoongi was still there.
He wondered if he should listen to his brain, or listen to his heart.
He wondered if he should protect the comfort of his present life, or if he had to risk everything again so as not to have the slightest regret.
He dropped his apple on the coffee table, pulled on his jacket, grabbed his keys and left his house, slamming the door.
Tonight, Jimin abandoned reason to listen to his heart.
→ "My brother has left the house. I’m sad but it's better like that.. He's planning to sleep at Namjoon's and leave tomorrow, when the storm is over."
But now in front of that door, he doubted.
It was late, Jimin was shaking and his hair was dripping on the floor.
He was here now, and did not intend to turn back.
His heart was beating wildly as the door opened.
"Jimin ?.. you're soaked, come here boy."
The high school student had a grateful smile, entering the beautiful home where he had committed his worst sin.
"Yoongi and Namjoon went to get some food. They shouldn’t be late now... "
Jimin bit his cheek, embarrassed to be in front of someone who knew everything.
Jimin nodded, enjoying Jin's hospitality and gentleness, which he followed to the kitchen once he had gotten rid of his coat.
This room where they had kissed, where they had spent the moment that had disrupt the sad life they led both.
Jin put some water to boil, and placed on Jimin a benevolent, compassionate look.
“He’ll be pleased to see you."
" You think...?"
"I’m pretty sure of it."
This advice helped him to relax a little, and to comfort him in his actions. He had come here without much purpose. He didn’t know how things were going to be.
"You know, I've known Yoongi for a long time now. And it never happened."
"What had never happened?"
"Him being so affected and troubled by someone."
"And that's supposed to be a good thing?"
Jin approached with a steaming cup, which Jimin took in his hands.
"Even if it hurts people around us?"
Putting a hand on the blonde's shoulder, Jin looked into his eyes.
Smiling, Jin stepped back, hoping Jimin could find the answers to the questions he had been asking himself for several weeks.
Happiness, dreams, love.
Even if they barely knew each other, the strength of this bond between them left no doubt.
While his nose was in his cup of tea, the front door slammed shut, and Namjoon's annoyed voice was heard throughout the house.
"I hate rain !"
Jin encouraged him with a smile and walked out of the kitchen.
"Sorry Jin, there will be wasting as always, your stupid boyfriend's eyes were bigger than his belly."
"This is not a problem. It falls pretty well. We have a surprise guest tonight."
Yoongi put the pizzas on the coffee table and frowned as he looked up at Jin, ready to ask him more precisely when he saw /him/.
Yoongi straightened up and remained stuck, looking at him with his mouth open.
"But it's Jimin! Did you come back in order to steal my bed once again? "
Jin reprimanded his boyfriend with a look as Jimin looked down, shy.
"Yoongi, can you shut your mouth please? It becomes embarrassing, you'll scare him if you keep looking at him like this."
Yoongi pushed his friend and get out of his shock to approach Jimin, his heart beating fast as his presence had surprised him. But once close to him, he didn’t know what to say, what to do, turned upside down.
"I .. you .. you'll get sick if you stay like that."
Yoongi inhaled and decided to be courageous, catching Jimin's hand, which again put his eye on him.
Jimin nodded silently, and left his hand to Yoongi following his steps towards the stairs of the house, which they had already climbed once, holding hands like this.
"Don’t mistaking with my bedroom this time!"
=Be as far as possible from Namjoon.
He pushed open the door of the room he was going to occupy tonight, bringing Jimin with him.
Without daring to look at the high school boy in the eyes, or ask him what he was doing here, Yoongi opened his bag to pull out warm clothes.
Jimin smiled, taking Yoongi's sweater and jog, and looked around before finally speaking to him, blushing.
"Can you turn around?"
And his imagination didn’t leave him in peace, imagining in great detail what was going on behind his back, hearing only the wrinkles of fabric.
Yoongi found Jimin's voice so sweet when he was shy. When he faced him again, his throat was dry in the face of what Jimin's vision in his own clothes was causing inside.
Much too satisfying.
Yoongi couldn’t help but have that little reprimand, not really realizing Jimin was there, when he thought he'd never see him again.
"I ... I'm sorry."
Pulling on the sleeves of the jumper, Jimin stared at Yoongi with bright eyes and stepped back.
Jimin wanted to pick up his clothes and run away, but Yoongi was faster than him, catching him by the sweater to bring him back to him.
Not opposing any force, Jimin shivered when Yoongi put his hands on his cheeks.
Feeling him shaking, Yoongi put his forehead against Jimin's, and murmured.
"Talk to me."
"Am ... Am I someone bad if I don’t want you to go far away from me ?"
So he didn’t use any words.
Very slowly, his face approached Jimin's, making sure he wanted it too.
Their eyes were closed, and their gestures were slow, almost timid, precious.
Tonight they were falling off the masks, and no longer pretending. They confided to each other the secret of their shameful feelings in the eyes of the world, yet very real.
All he knew was that he had never felt more comfortable in this world than while this kiss with Yoongi.
Jimin shuddered as he heard those words, and he didn’t hesitate for a second before putting his arms around Yoongi's neck to kiss him again.
He needed to know what was happiness for himself.
If it was /him/.
That the latter doesn’t open the door, that Yoongi laughs in his face, that he doesn’t even have time to reach the house because kidnapped by human traffickers.
And yet, he was now warm, in the living room in Namjoon’s house, eating pizza while being snuggled against Yoongi's body, shy but happy.
But Jin had once again had the wisdom to put a hand on his boyfriend’s mouth, and whisper threats in his ear.
A torture for him to be faced with such a spectacle, able to provide so many jokes, and having to act as if everything was normal. such a waste.
They were adorable, Namjoon had to admit it. But apart from the comical situation, he also knew that it wouldn’t last.
It must be immensely difficult and dangerous to pretend that everything was fine, as if it was real, when it was condemned in advance.
What was there between them was much stronger than that, but also much more difficult to manage, much more dangerous and destructive. They were screwed.
Yoongi had never been happier than by looking at Jimin in the eyes, reading the reflection of how he felt about him. That was enough for him.
"Now they will take three hours to choose and after ten minutes of movie they will be licking their tonsils."
And the oldest wasn’t wrong, Namjoon and Jin finishing well as he had predicted.
Then Yoongi stood up, pulling Jimin with him.
It was sure they didn’t intend to spend the night sleeping.
And it was even better than the first explosive time they had experienced at this party.
They needed to be one, to put an end at this frustration too long maintained.
"Yoongi, wait .."
Surprised but very attentive, Yoongi gave him the space he wanted, just holding out a hand to caress his cheek.
"Is there something wrong?"
They only had that night. It belonged to them.
"Yoongi, can you ... can you make love to me ?"
Only the light of the moon now lit them through the window.
Yoongi leaned against him, and when he kissed his lips, his eyelashes curled his cheek.
And it was against his mouth that Yoongi murmured, never having looked into his eyes so closely.
"I'm going to teach you what the word love means, Jimin."
There was no rush in their actions when they undressed each other, but a precious slowness.
Yoongi was leaving, and Jimin was going to have to resume his life as if he had never crossed his path.
They only had that night to consume those feelings that bound them together.
But before being too tired, they stopped, burning and sweaty but still staying glued to each other.
An end that Jimin hoped to avoid.
"I wish it never had an end."
Jimin had then raised his eyes to Yoongi's, his pupils gleaming in the darkness.
"So let's make sure there's none."
"If only it was that simple..."
He kissed Jimin's forehead and put an arm around him to hug him closer.
"But it's simple. It only needs you to stay."
Even if he had the illusion right now, this moment of peace in him did not reflect the reality.
"Because I don’t feel good in this place anymore. You're the only thing holding me back, but it's also for you that I have to leave. To stop complicating your life by my presence."
"You’re not complicating my life ..."
".... maybe a little bit. But it's too late for that."
"You’re sad and lost. This isn’t the time for you to make big decisions that you may regret later."
"I know you're doubting Jimin. But if we had never met at this party, you would never have had any doubt. You would be with him, and I would already be far away."
What was there between them would have been inevitable, no matter the circumstances of their meeting.
They were linked. It was written somewhere.
"Don’t wait for my return. We mustn’t live waiting for anything. Never."
Jimin had tears in his eyes as he snuggled up against Yoongi, hiding his face in his shoulder.
"I'll miss you…"
"I'll miss you too, Jimin."
After a few seconds of silence, Jimin regained control of himself and straightened up against Yoongi, with wet cheeks.
Since he had only that left, he didn’t want to waste time being sad. He wanted to have pleasant memory of every second.
His hands on his cheeks, he pulled back his face, trying to cross the eyes of the one who disturbed his existence.
"No, I don’t want, I don’t need to ..."
"You’re exhausted. Stop fighting."
Raising a hand in Jimin's hair, Yoongi invited him to lie down on him.
His face in Yoongi's neck, Jimin closed his eyes.
Yoongi's reassuring voice cradled Jimin until he fell asleep, squeezing his lover against him with all the strength he was showing, trying to prevent him from disappear from one second to the next.
Jimin woke up when the sun disturbed his sleep. And despite the warm rays of light on his skin, he was terribly cold.
He stood up suddenly, in a burst of panic, and his heart stopped beating for a moment.
Jimin didn’t take long to understand, slowly getting up to approach the window, shaking lips.
In front of the house, no trace of Yoongi's car.
And it was then that he saw a dark task on his palm. From his fuzzy eyes he tried to understand what was written in black ink.
What he read finished breaking his heart.
These words, his words, which symbolized the way in which their story began.
Yoongi was gone, and Jimin only had his memories as a comfort to the immense pain that filled his heart from now on.
And the next days neither.
A week passed like this, during which he remained locked in his room, sobbing every time he thought of Yoongi.
And this happened often. Too often.
All he wanted was to be alone, and to have time to mourn.
The mourning of what he had lived with Yoongi.
He who never saw them on weekdays was surprised to hear the car in the driveway on Friday afternoon.
But the door of his room opened suddenly.
There followed a one-sided argument, summed up in the screams of the father against the son, threats and insults.
Jimin cried again, not having the energy that day to support this.
Even if his flu story had been true, they would not have believed it.
Jimin was proud to have survived all this time in this environment.
To have conceived him without loving him.
For once, this unjust punishment did not cause him any problems. A real reason not to respond to messages.
And on Monday, he had to go back to school, almost paralyzed with anxiety. He did not feel able to smile and resume his life as if nothing had happened.
But he could not even pass the gate until Jungkook approached.
He had the help of his obvious fatigue to support the alibi of his illness.
He realized very quickly that beyond the sadness, he didn’t want, didn’t want anymore Jungkook to touch and kiss him.
His feelings for Jungkook were totally extinguished in favor of those he had for Yoongi now.
He was more and more unable to look Jungkook in the eye, never responding to his soft words and setting a distance between them a little bit bigger every minute.
In front of his boyfriend's house, while he had accompanied him, which had surprised Jungkook after his coldness in recent days, Jimin had broken up with him.
Jimin kissed him one last time, unable to answer any of his requests, and left, shaking.
Knowing that now he was the loneliest of the two.
But he knew that with their support, Jungkook would recover. He would be fine.
No place accessible to him. Cause there was a place where he would have been better than everywhere else.
He didn’t want to remember what it was to fall asleep against him.
His despair swallowed him every day a little more, while his feelings didn’t diminish. He had never loved so much.
Such a waste.
He was his friend, and to watch the way he darkened revolted him.
Jimin was going through a difficult pass. And that was probably why he had left Jungkook.
He needed them, to feel better.
To hope that if they could help Jimin get better, he would come back to him, instead of pushing everyone apart.
So after weeks of giving him no more than a look, they all sat around Jimin in the canteen.
There was a small embarrassed silence before Hoseok spoke.
"We're sorry we didn’t understand that you were having hard times lately Jimin. Forgive us."
"You know Jimin, even if you and I are not together anymore, I am here for you. We are. We’re your friends. Okay ?"
They were there, as before. Nothing but their presence was comforting.
With his throat clenched, Jimin listened to his ex enthusiastic about the last call Yoongi gave him.
Taehyung was mortified as Jimin froze for fear of understanding what it meant. Jungkook continued his story, which did not reassure Jimin, on the contrary.
Was it possible that Yoongi was happy, that he turned the page so quickly when Jimin sank every second a little more in his pain ?
What if it had never been real, for Yoongi ?
He couldn’t believe what he had heard. He could not question everything that put him in this condition of intense sadness for the last weeks.
47 days that Yoongi was gone, 47 days that he missed him.
That day, he had cried a lot, walking in the streets of the city, without any purpose.
His insolent beauty, in spite of the ravages of his sadness, had allowed him to pass the door and the bouncer.
Jimin would have liked to go back in time, and enjoy this moment that he had dared to hate.
He had fallen in love with a guy who had ruined his life and made him totally addicted before leaving far away, without even the slightest hope for their love.
But he couldn’t regret.
"Eh, idiot, the exit is the other w... Jimin ?!"
Heart pounding, Jimin lifted his dead eyes to Namjoon, looking at him and Jin, letting out a tear of fatigue.
And the Namjoon, who had once liked making fun of him, now showed a worried face in front of the dull and sad image that Jimin sent back.
"Jimin, hey, are you ok..?"
Unable to answer the question as the emotion gripped his throat, Jimin slowly shook his chin.
And behind them, Namjoon signaled to the bouncer that they wouldn’t be attending the party tonight.
Jin was sitting next to him, and Namjoon exactly in front of him, on his coffee table.
Jimin never thought they would take care of him just because he had slept with their friend.
Jimin had raised his eyes to Jin, feeling like a child under his infinite tenderness.
He shook his chin, unable to reveal what had put him in such a state.
"Nothing serious, I ... I'm sensitive, a bit of fatigue and.."
Less gentle and delicate than Jin, Namjoon interrupted him.
"Are you sure it's not related to Yoongi?"
Jimin's blush betrays him.
"Sometimes we feel better after saying things out loud. Feel free to talk to us."
"It's been almost two months. It's a bit long for a passage."
Second look, Namjoon raised his hands in sign of innocence. Jin sighed and resumed.
"You’re not lost. You love him."
"Do you remember our conversation last time, Jimin ? Did you do everything to be happy ? Is there anything you can do for that ?"
"We can’t be happy every time. There are reasons that make it impossible."
"There are no valid reasons when we trully love."
"Exactly. That's one of the reasons. I love him, I know that I love him enough..."
"He’s not in love with me. He never wanted it to be serious, he ... I know he already has someone else, Jin."
Jin and Namjoon frowned at the same time, visibly surprised by this information. Jimin put the cup down, and raised his chin.
"No, but wait, how's that Yoongi has someone else ?"
"He has a boyfriend. He is already happy. That's all."
Jimin narrowed his nose, looking at him starting to get angry, and Jin kicked him in the shin, realizing that the bad looks were not enough.
"No, but seriously, Yoongi doesn’t have a boyfriend or anything like that."
"I learned it today. It may not be old. But the fact is he's moved on, and I have to do the same thing."
Namjoon fumbled in his pockets, grabbing his cell phone and searching for something.
"Jimin, how could you think it’s true while .... wait.."
"How could you think he’s going out with someone else while being in love with you?"
Jimin's eyes shone with emotion in front of the picture on the screen.
Jimin could see himself, glued to Yoongi, his face in his neck, while Yoongi had wrapped his arms around him, with smile that reached his eyes.
Jin rolled his eyes, and Jimin kept looking at the picture, his heart squeezing. He did not know what to say, not understanding why Namjoon insisted so much, even though he would have liked to believe it.
"So why did he tell Jungkook that he had one ?"
Namjoon opened his eyes wide, seeming to have an insight.
He laughed again, leaving Jin and Jimin in misunderstanding before continuing, amused.
"Yoongi sent me a message yesterday, to tell me about this. But, it's completely wrong, he’s very single, he lied."
"Yeah, but he hasn’t thought about it. He was destabilized when his brother told him that everything was fine between the two of you, it's the first thing that went through Yoongi’s head when he asked him if he was going to be alone all his life."
Jungkook said what ?
"But ... I broke up with Jungkook more than a month ago."
"A nice’ liar family, definitely!"
The high school student did not know what to think. If he should blame Jungkook, or rejoice that Yoongi was single.
Jin handed him a pen, he thanked him with a wink and began scribbling something before tending his work to Jimin.
On paper, the name of a bar.
"But... it's in Daegu..."
"Do you love him, yes or no ?"
"I, yes, of course I love him. But I'm a high school student, I have no money, no car.."
"I already forgot you were a baby, sorry."
Namjoon slapped his tongue on his palate and turned his head to Jin, stretching an angelic smile on his demon face.
"What if we pass a weekend in the lovely city of Daegu ?"
Namjoon laughed again at the glimmer of hope in his eyes.
"Go to sleep. We have a long road to go tomorrow before you jump on your boyfriend."
Today, he wore them back with a smile.
Now that Jin and Namjoon had helped him see things more clearly, he knew what he wanted.
And what he wanted was to not miss his chance to be happy.
A journey that began with a stop at Jimin, so that the young man gets some things for the weekend. And he hoped not to have to meet his parents.
And when he saw the car in front of the house, he knew they were waiting for him.
Already in trouble, and not wishing to delay his reunion with Yoongi for them, he did not say a word, directly up the stairs.
Which particularly annoyed his father.
"You don’t go to class, you spend the night we don’t know where and you dare to sigh, Jimin ?!"
But suddenly, his father's big hand grabbed the bag and threw it to the other end of the room, making him jump.
Jimin looked up at his father, who had come close to him.
"I.. I'll spend the weekend at a friend's house."
"Wait wait wait, I don’t think we understood each other very well. You're not going anywhere, do you understand ?"
Then he looked down and tried to get his bag, under the amazement and growing tension of his father.
"Jimin, don’t you dare making fun of me, otherwise ..."
"Otherwise what ? Are you going to hit me? Lock me up in my room? To "get me back on the right path" as if you were worried about me in any way ?!"
And it was not the first time.
"I hate you…"
"Get out of here."
"But I'm warning you, Jimin. If you get out of this room, never go back here again."
So he grabbed his bag.
Downstairs, his mother saw them arrive, his eyes widening for a second.
But she didn’t say anything. Like always.
And he wiped the only tear that fell on his cheek before moving away from the house, turning into the adjacent street and quickly climbing into Namjoon's car.
"Are you ok ?"
Jimin saw Jin turning to him, worried about his silence. So he whispered a little "yes", nothing more.
Namjoon glanced at him in the central mirror, and turned on the radio.
He might have been a bit scared deep down inside him, but hid his apprehension in an overflowing energy, which he subjected to Namjoon and Jin all the way to Daegu.
"How many time left ?" "Can I have a candy ?" "Can we put another radio ?" “I don’t like that song.” “Can you drive faster ?”
Unlike him, Jin was having a good time. He understood Jimin's excitement, and found it absolutely adorable.
After that they finally arrived at Daegu, which calmed Jimin down, silencing him.
And it was absolutely terrifying, taking his breath away.
He was no longer loud in the car, clutching his bag against him.
Then the car stopped.
"It's that bar. Go sit at the counter, and order a lemonade."
The schoolboy pulled out his tongue to him, and took a deep breath.
"It's going to be ok Jimin. Go ahead."
The car left quickly so as not to give him the opportunity to get scared and go back inside. Namjoon did not want to risk that.
After a few seconds of panic, he stepped forward, his cheeks already red while Yoongi was not even in his field of vision.
Jimin approached slowly, pulling a stool to pull himself up. His throat was so dry that he was not sure he could speak.
"Are you going to work fucking shitty machine..."
Jimin pursed his lips not to laugh. Yoongi hadn’t changed, and it really helped him relax.
"Forgive me, what can I serve you?"
"A smile will be enough."
"Hi, Yoongi ..."
The older man opened his mouth, shocked, having a hard time believing what he saw.
"But... you ... what are you doing here ?"
Jimin started to play with his hands, nervous, afraid that Yoongi laughed in his face and asked him to leave.
But that wasn’t what he did. Yoongi looked for his head guard instead, and walked away for a few seconds to ask for a break.
Even less when Yoongi came back to him, taking him by the hand and pulling him toward the back of the bar.
They sat on a bench, very close to each other.
"Jimin ... do you want to drink something? did you eat ?"
"We ? ... Oh, you came with Jun-.."
"I broke up with Jungkook, Yoongi. He and I are over for weeks."
Yoongi seemed surprised, and for good reason, Jungkook had told him the opposite three days before.
"You know why, don’t make me say it..."
Jimin lowered his eyes, blushing even more.
"I couldn’t be with him anymore while ... while you were constantly in my mind, Yoongi."
"I'm sorry Jimin. Really."
Jimin shook his chin. He wasn’t sorry. He was no longer. He was done living for others. I wanted to listen to himself, to his feeling, no matter what.
"You know, someone once told me that love should never be considered as a bad thing."
"They brought you here?"
"Yes. They took the opportunity to spend the weekend together. Namjoon said you'd be nice enough to pay for the train if you wanted me to leave..."
Yoongi rolled his eyes and slid his hand over Jimin's cheek.
"What happened to your face ?"
Jimin put his hand on Yoongi's to make it go down.
"It doesn’t look like nothing."
"He hit you.”
"He did, yes, but... we'll talk about it later, I don’t want to think about it now. I want us to talk about ourselves."
"Ourselves ? What ourselves..."
Jimin squeaked, hiding his head against Yoongi's neck.
Jimin had chosen him. He had come here for him, for them, because they couldn’t live properly without each other now.
"There is no plan. I don’t wanna pretend anymore."
"It won’t be without consequence on your present life. You won’t regret it ?"
"My life has already changed since I know you. I just wanna be with you."
Jimin looked up at Yoongi, glaring at him.
"You don’t have to resist me anymore. I want you. I want you so bad."
Jimin had almost whispered as he approached his face to Yoongi’s.
But Yoongi put two fingers on his mouth, not letting him doing what he wanted to do.
"But I want to kiss you..."
"I want to kiss you too, Jimin. But you'll have to wait until the end of my service, baby.
Jimin resigned himself, tenderized by the nickname.
"I'm done in an hour. I'll bring you some hot chocolate."
Things could not have been better for this reunion. And it was just a start.
Yet this love, this happiness deserved more than that. It wasn’t fair.
The happiness Yoongi gave him was more important than its consequences.
He saw him talking, heard a few words but didn’t really listen, too busy realizing that he was there, with him, that he could look at him, touch him, kiss him.
He looked so innocent and cute.
Quickly arrived at his building, they went up the stairs, and Yoongi opened his door for the first time to his new boyfriend, hoping to proudly present him the place where he lived alone, like an adult.
His arms knotting immediately around his neck so that he couldn’t escape him, Jimin pressed his mouth against Yoongi’s.
Jimin's mouth, his embrace, his daring tongue.
Jimin didn’t want to talk, and he made it known in a very explicit way. A way Yoongi understood very well.
"This is the first time I see you in a shirt. You're so sexy in this... "
"Do you want me to keep it ?"
"...No. Remove it. Wait, I'll do it myself !"
With the tips of his fingers, he removed the buttons one by one, without prolonging the operation, eager to feel his skin against his.
It was the first time they had undressed without being in the dark.
And Yoongi gasped at the harmony of this body that was revealed to him.
His lips sliding down to his neck, he began slowly.
"Yoongi, please, hold me tight..."
Yoongi did it, and Jimin moaned louder.
Slowly, he descended along his body, dotting his skin with kisses, caresses, drawing lines with his tongue.
Jimin was a living fantasy. Every part of his being was sublime. Yoongi felt lucky.
There was nothing better than feeling his body arch when he nibbled his nipples.
He dreamed so many time for Yoongi to put his lips here again. The feeling was incredible.
He smiled when he felt Jimin's erection against his throat. And the youngest hid his face with his arms as he tugged at his boxer.
"Yoongi ... do something .."
"What do you want me to do ?"
Jimin bit his lip, his cheeks red.
"I .. T-touch me. Touch me please.."
A moan of satisfaction left the lips of the youngest, who grabbed one of his shoulders, asking him silently to come closer.
He took an immense pleasure to see Jimin being unable to stay calm and docile at every single touch.
But now that Yoongi was his boyfriend, he knew he’ll be able to moan under him a lot.
With his arms and legs, he kept Yoongi from going away, squeezing him even harder.
When stimulations became too strong, Jimin arched his body against his lover's, planting his nails on his shoulder blades.
"Do you want me to give you more ?"
"Yes. Give me more."
"Ask nicely and I'll think about it."
Yoongi barely got up to see Jimin's face, the way his full lips opened as he whispered.
"Can you fuck me, please. I miss it so much, please please pleas-..."
Yoongi already knew that Jimin would always get what he wanted from him.
Jimin didn’t know where to put his hands, where to kiss Yoongi. His previous experiences had always been full of timidity and limits.
Jimin was a sincere being, in his emotions and his actions. How could he have resisted.
Quickly, he pulled a box up, from where he pulled out what was needed for a safe and secure sexual relation.
"Why? We never... "
"I know, but it's necessary."
"You slept with someone else ?"
"What? No! "
"I didn’t. I swear. But it wasn’t safe on our part, the other times. We should always have done it. I should have thought about it, I want to do things right, now.”
Today, they had time to do things right.
"Wait! I - I wanna do it. "
Yoongi was surprised, leaving Jimin take the packet from his hands, which he tore between his thin fingers.
Understanding his embarrassment, Yoongi was kind enough to come and kiss his neck in order to stop staring.
Yoongi whispered these words in Jimin's ear before urging him to turn under him.
His hands gripped the armrest as he felt Yoongi's hands on his butt, soon followed by his breath, so hot on his skin.
"Ssh... relax. I'm taking care of you, Love."
Jimin closed his eyes, letting Yoongi do what he wanted with him. He shuddered with each kiss he laid on his skin, from the birth of his cheeks to the birth of his thighs.
And enjoying even more when he felt Jimin's butt contract under his hands as he spread his cheeks aside, taking full advantage of their firmness.
"I never… you know.."
"Do you want me to?"
Jimin wasn’t able to formulate complete sentences, waiting for the sensations he had often dreamed of.
Or that Yoongi was so caring and applied that it was impossible to reproduce in thought the sensations he could give by his actions.
Yoongi was the master, he made him his puppet, making him act according to the way he played his tongue on his body.
Yoongi had never enjoyed hearing his name as much than from Jimin’s trembling voice.
It was their first time as a couple. Yoongi wanted to see his eyes and have him in his arms when he’ll be ready to have an orgasm.
His eyes shone with the pleasure he took, a pleasure that he expressed by urging Yoongi to come closer and kiss him, almost brutal.
After days, tears, suffering and separations, this finality had a taste of paradise.
Jimin's thoughts belonged entirely to that moment, the way Yoongi went back and forth in him, to the rhythm of his thrusts, to the presence of his member in him, to what it did to him.
The starting point of a new chapter in their relationship. The one where the only thing that mattered was them.
Jimin had one hand in Yoongi's hair and the other in his back, Yoongi had one on his cheek and the other on his thigh.
Eyes in the eyes, their lips brushing against each other.
For love had never been so free and sincere, for one as for the other.
But Jimin's stomach was the first to growl once Sunday morning came, provoking Yoongi's laughter.
"Noooo, stay here ..."
Yoongi had wanted to get up, but Jimin wasn’t of the same opinion, having passed his arms around his waist to stick on his back. He hadn’t had enough. He would never have enough.
"I’m not a normal human. I don’t need to eat."
"We all need something."
"I need something."
"And what do you need, Jimin the alien?"
"I need to stay on this couch with you and I need you to kiss me again and again."
Unable to resist the powers that Jimin had on him, Yoongi was seduced, falling on the couch with his young lover who was delighted to have what he wanted.
"I don’t want to break your dreams but you’re a normal human, baby ..."
Jimin then got up, not wanting to stay far too long, and dressed summarily, with clean underpants and t-shirt, before joining him.
Yoongi really made him forget everything. For the better.
Yoongi glanced at Jimin, having thought he perceived a little annoyance in his response.
An annoyance now readable on his face.
Jimin shrugged, fleeing Yoongi's gaze. He didn’t want to think about the end of this weekend, which was approaching so fast. He hadn’t had enough time with him. Not enough time in the arms of someone who really loved him, who he loved back.
Jimin shuddered, putting his hands on Yoongi's arms and opening his thighs for him to come in between.
Biting his lip, Jimin complied, raising his still swollen face to Yoongi's.
The older man had a slight sigh when he looked at the mark, not enjoying the idea that Jimin had to endure the violence of his father.
"Tell me what happened."
Jimin closed his eyes, resting his forehead against Yoongi's, who now had his hands on the youngest's cheeks, caressing his skin to comfort him.
"Why did he do that?"
"Because he uses the slightest excuse to hate me and destroy my life."
"And your mother ?"
"She doesn’t care. She's the same. But he's acting for both."
"They've never been supportive, caring or loving. I'm sure they would have liked never to have me. They're making it clear now."
"Don’t be. I hate them. They are homophobic, racist, intolerant. All the worst things in this world. I'm glad I'm not guilty of not loving them. I didn’t think I had to leave so quickly and with only a backpack. But it was only a matter of time.”
"Are you sure he really kicked you out?"
"Yes I’m sure. He told me never to come back. He must be relieved to get rid of me, finally. "
"Where are you going to live then? Do you have family members in Seoul ? "
"I .. I thought that .. maybe I could stay with you."
But Jimin realized that Yoongi didn’t think the idea was great with the silence that followed it.
"Jimin, love, I..."
"No, ok, that's ok. I'll find something."
"I have no friends, they're all Jungkook's friends. And you stopped school when you had enough of your life there, didn’t you ?"
"Yes, I did, and that's why you won’t."
"Jungkook told me you were brilliant. And that you had dreams, ambition. Tell me what you want to do later."
"Why did he… I wanted to be a vet.."
"You don’t want it anymore?"
Yoongi felt his heart breaking in front of Jimin's deeply sad eyes.
"We're going to find a way, ok? You won’t go back to school but you won’t drop school. I won’t let you become like me."
"Yes, I don’t recommend it to you..."
Sighing, the oldest tried to think, to find an idea. He never saw how unhappy Jimin was.
Yoongi then took him in his arms, clutching Jimin against him, rubbing his back while he whispered in his ear, understanding what he was going through.
Like Yoongi would have liked someone to take care of him before he had to choose between his well-being and his future.
Sitting up on the couch, Jimin shut down Yoongi's computer, on which he had spent long minutes reading the worried messages that Hoseok had sent him on Facebook.
And to which he didn’t know what to answer.
But as soon as the front door slammed, signaling the return of Yoongi, time almost stopped.
And now that they had no reason to hold back loving each other, anger and culpability left their interactions. Only love mattered.
Jimin was the prettiest and the sweetest drugs.
Each day, Jimin's hematoma faded a little more, and Yoongi sought a solution that would prevent him from having others.
Head over the back of the sofa, Jimin stretched his arms as Yoongi approached, pulling off his jacket.
"A private high school?"
"There’s one very close to here. You don’t even have to take the bus."
Yoongi leaned over the couch back to kiss Jimin, snapping his lips three times in a row.
The same silly smile filled their faces, expressing the happiness they had to be together. How good it was to be in love ...
Yoongi couldn’t resist taking one or four more kisses before turning back to open a beer.
"But ... a private school is expensive."
"Yes. Wait, let’s see."
Yoongi came to wallow beside Jimin, pulling the computer on his lap.
And when they saw the price needed for each year, Yoongi almost choked on his beer and Jimin hissed, not really seeing the genius idea here.
"You don’t have to insist on my poverty like that ... hey, don’t touch, you're too young to drink that, microbe."
"It's your parents who will pay."
"Are you out of your minds? They will never pay for it."
"Of course they will. They won’t have the choice.”
"Yoongi, I ..."
Yoongi put the computer on the coffee table, turning to Jimin. He reached out to run his fingers through the blonde locks of the youngest, looking at him with determination.
"You’re still a minor. So they don’t have the right to expulse you like that."
"But if it's really what they want, no longer having you under their roof, then you have to present this school to them as a legal way to get rid of you."
"Boarding school, or justice."
"I thought about it. And you have something to play against that."
Yoongi's fingers glimpsed what was left of the mark on Jimin's face.
"Yes. For mistreatment."
"I'm not sure I'll be able to face my parents to blackmail them..."
"I won’t let you face them alone. We'll make them understand that it's you who sets the rules for yourself now."
"You'll come with me ?"
"I won’t leave your side. I called Namjoon on my way here, and he'll come with us too."
"His father is an appeal judge for child protection cases. And his mother is a brilliant lawyer. He will make them understand that if they want to continue their lives peacefully without his family getting involved, they will be interested in letting you go."
Yoongi prefered to act.
"Yes. If that's what you want, we'll make it happen."
Jimin nodded, stretching a hopeful smile. He wanted to believe it. He wanted this new life, in this new city, so close to the person who made it accessible.
"Cool ! I missed the huge bed !"
"Wouldn’t you be denigrating my super foldable sofa ?"
"No no, never. I wouldn’t dare."
"I really like this sofa."
"Even if it's smaller than Namjoon's bed?"
"Exactly, because it's smaller."
"And why being smaller makes it better ?"
"The smaller it is, the more you have to hug me for sleep."
"Like I have a chance to escape your grip even in a big bed..."
Opening his mouth with an outraged face, Jimin hit Yoongi's arm.
"I can’t sleep anymore without having my hands on your ass, Jimin."
"Oh god, you're so gross .."
Their laughter ended on a kiss which, as always, led to others kisses.
He had been afraid all his life to take a step outside the morbid path he followed.
But today, the best of allies was holding his hand to lead him.
He refused that life for Jimin. A life of guilt and pain that he didn’t deserve.
He remained silent until departure, guiding the road for Namjoon to his parents' office.
As soon as it concerned Jimin, they were almost doing budget studies to spend as little as possible.
He was so sick of them and their materialistic values.
And all he wanted at that moment was to turn around.
He even had a moment of retreat, but stopped his steps when Yoongi took his hand.
He raised his worried big eyes in Yoongi's more assured ones.
"It's normal to be scared. But you're not alone. You'll be fine. I promised."
Jimin wasn’t able to answer, but nodded, intertwining his fingers with his.
Jimin had never dared to set foot here since kid. He had forgotten the color of the walls, the layout of the reception.
The woman holding the reception looked at the band with suspicion.
"So you want to see them together ? You have an appointment ?"
"No. Tell them that their son wants to see them, and that it’s urgent."
And it was only a beginning. Jimin knew it.
The switchboard operator had spoken to Namjoon, probably thinking he was the Park's son. And that wasn’t surprising. They never shared photos of their son like good parents were used to.
And thinking about it, that was exactly what Jimin was today. A client. Come to get a loan from his parents.
"I wanna die."
Yoongi shook his chin gently, pushing Jimin's shoulder to give him courage.
In front of them, Namjoon was preparing his character and his intervention, seeming very serious and concentrated.
"What are you doing here ?"
Namjoon stood up immediately, extending his hand with a thin smile.
"Who are you?"
"Kim Namjoon. Representative of Blue Kids."
"Blue Kids ..."
"Association of help, including legal help, for abused children."
Jimin's father picked up his hand and gave his son a furious look.
The last thing the banker wanted was to spread his problems to his employees and clients. Damn kid.
"Jimin ?! What's going on here..."
"That's what I'd like to know."
"I need you to fill that and..."
"What is this?"
"This is a registration form for a private high school in Daegu..."
"Because you really think we'll pay for that ?"
“I.. I thought that-”
"You already have a high school."
"I know but-"
"And why would you want to sleep at school ?"
"Because you kicked him out?"
"That's what you told them, Jimin ? Why did you do that ?"
"Because that's what you did..."
"Jimin Jimin... I was angry. I said things that went beyond my thinking. Is it a crime ?"
"Not really. But hitting his child, this, it’s a crime."
"My father is a juvenile judge, and my mother is the head of the Department of Judicial Protection for Children. If I were you, I would stop acting and think about my options."
Now better understanding his position, Jimin's father gritted his teeth. He pulled out his chair and grabbed the file, starting to fill it with mumbling rage.
Jimin's always been a burden.
Jimin looked at his mother in the eyes.
"To get away from you."
"Finally a good idea."
Even though Jimin was used to it, every word of this kind enlarged the wound of his soul.
That his parents would recover quickly from having spent so much money seeing the benefit of being released from his daily presence.
He made sure that the boarding school was open on the weekends, and hesitated a lot on matters particularly concerning Jimin. Even for his birth date.
"You’ll fill in the details that concern you."
Jimin picked up the file, barely believing it. He was going to leave. Live with Yoongi. Nearly.
"Be quick and try to not forget anything."
It was these last words that Jimin's father decided to put an end to the appointment, getting up to go with them to the door, and especially to put Jimin out, once again.
And in the eyes of Jimin had just died the last hope he had to have a show of affection from them.
They hadn’t retained him.
If Jimin made no sound, he felt the coldness of his tears against his neck.
"It's over now. I'm proud of you Jimin..."
Lost in thought and focused on what he was doing, Jimin looked up at Yoongi without understanding what he had just said.
After they went to the bank, Namjoon took them to Jimin's parents' house
He had taken out a suitcase, the only one he had, to contain everything he wanted to bring to Daegu.
While emptying his closet, Yoongi had been watching his boyfriend's room, finding it very cold and impersonal. No sign of a happy youth. No even a poster or a radio.
"Yes. That's me."
"You were cute. You're still cute. But, you were very cute already."
Blushing a little, Jimin moved closer to come and look at the picture with him.
"You're close to them?"
"Yes. I was. They died abruptly when I was 9."
"I wish I could have grown up with them a bit longer."
A few minutes later, they joined Namjoon downstairs, and Jimin closed the door of the house one last time, taking all traces of his existence on his back.
He no longer regretted the first time he had set foot in this living room, where he met Yoongi.
Yoongi was well surrounded. He had found in the both of them his family, the one he could always count on.
"It's better that you stay in the car. Jungkook is supposed to be in sport, but it's better to avoid being seen with me. You never know."
"I have no phone."
"That’s true. Since you’re too proud to accept my older one. Send me a pigeon then."
Jimin rolled his eyes and kissed Yoongi before stepping out of the car with his books in his arms.
But he knew that a better life was waiting for him elsewhere. It might seem crazy, to leave everything to blindly follow Yoongi.
If Yoongi was a mistake, he was the best mistake he could make.
And as he opened his locker, he could only have a twinge in his heart as he looked at the picture Jungkook had slipped there months before.
Jungkook was the boyfriend everyone dreamed of having. Everything in him was perfect.
But he wasn’t Yoongi.
Sighing, he put the whole thing on the counter, before raising his head and coming face to face with Hoseok.
He jumped, taking two steps back, placing his hand on his heart.
'I can ask you the same! You disappear after you left the refectory and you left me on "seen" on facebook! "
"I .. I'm sorry Hoseok, I just didn’t know what to say, I was a bit .."
"Yeah. Something like that. "
"Is this about your parents again?"
Jimin pursed his lips, nodding slowly. The trace on his face wasn’t quite gone yet, and he couldn’t hide all the reasons for his departure, couldn’t leave without the shadow of an explanation.
That among of people and yet, nothing had ever been done for him.
Always the same question. This open but uncompromising proposition, to which Jimin always shook his chin, smiling softly to say thank you.
"No, it's over now. They're kicking me out."
"What?! But where are you going to live? "
"I found a place in a private high school in Daegu."
"Are you leaving Seoul ?"
"And you planned to leave without telling us anything? Seriously? "
"No, fuck Jimin, I thought we were friends!"
"I'm sorry ... It's just .. It's hard for me. I'm not good at goodbyes."
"What goodbyes. There’s none. It's not like we're never going to see each other again, right? "
Hoseok stretched an encouraging smile, keeping no anger. Positive as always.
"We could go out tonight with the guys. Drink a beer, celebrate your departure..."
"It's not really something I want to celebrate, and I still have a lot of things to do ..."
"Please Jimin. I can’t tell them for you."
"Okay. I still don’t have a phone but we can say 7pm at- "
"Crap. Jungkook's brother is here. Do you mind if he comes ? I know that you and him are not getting along very well, but it may be hard to get Kook without him ..."
"Really? Yoongi is here? "
"Yes! Jungkook just told me that he won’t take the bus cause his brother made him a surprise, he was waiting for him outside, in his car! "
"But, was not he supposed to be at the gymnasium right now?"
"Mr.Choi wasn’t there all week, so they had re-organized the planning."
Karma was against him. He had played with fire, and was now punished for the bad things he had done.
"Yeah, yes, I don’t ... I don’t mind."
"Cool ! I'll take care of your books, you can go. Don’t forget us tonight ok? I count on you! "
"I'll be there. I promise."
Why, like an idiot, had he not accepted that Yoongi would lend an old phone with a prepaid card?
And now, Jimin was there, all alone.
In what crappy situation had he still put himself.
And in front of Jimin's disappointed face, Namjoon could only let out a mocking laugh.
"Have you lost your way?"
Jimin climbed into the car grunting, but slipped a small thank you to the driver, glad not to have to walk all the way.
"I wanna die Namjoon."
"You always wanna die. But I admit that there may be the right moment. "
He was about to open his mouth when a bell rang inside the car, signaling a call on Namjoon’s cellphone, connected in bluetooth.
The oldest motioned to Jimin not to say a word, picking up to his best friend.
"Hm. // -HI NAMJOON!"
Yoongi's grunt and Jungkook's cheerful voice mingled to answer. Jimin's throat tightened.
"Did you get my package?"
"Yeah, don’t worry, it’s right next to me."
"How is it ?"
"Ah well, it's a very nice package. I would dream to have the same one. "
"It’s fine. At least, the packaging is intact."
"I can’t wait to see it."
"Besides, when are you coming to pick it up ?"
"Later, before leaving. Moreover, Jungkook offers us to come for a drink with his friends and his boyfriend in town tonight. // -I suggested it to you only but nevermind..."
"Why not. I don’t want your brother to be sad cause he misses me too much ! "
"Okay. I'm not sure if I'll see you before tonight, so we'll keep up with the message. And take care of my package."
Jungkook did not have time to reply that Namjoon had hung up, then scratched his chin. The situation was complicated.
"Good. So we know that Jungkook still didn’t admit that you two were no longer together."
"It's possible. But you’ll just have to say no. "
"Do you think I have to tell him?"
“Telling him what ?"
"For Yoongi and me."
Namjoon winced, under the desperate eyes of Jimin.
"No matter the time, it will end badly, whether today or in 6 months. Jungkook is a good guy. He doesn’t deserve to be lied to like that ... "
"There are truths that it’s better to keep quiet because they would do too much harm."
Jimin smiled slightly before sighing. The evening was going to be long. He really didn’t know how he was going to handle announcing his departure to his friends and staying away from Yoongi like before.
"Like, you go to your private high school, Yoongi is the only person you know in Daegu. He helps you, you sympathize. And boom. You fall in love. Without being able to control it. "
"If Jin is ok we'll come tonight. That way we can serve you as a messenger. "
Jimin calmed down, reassured.
"I did theater for several years."
"Perfect. Don’t disappoint me."
He had only a hurry, that disastrous day ended and he could go back to Daegu to start his new life in a city where he had no one to hide the fact that Yoongi made him feel loved and alive.
This little reunion had no meaning, and would necessarily be an absolute disaster. It could not be otherwise.
He would surely end up killing someone.
The high school student had threatened the best friend of his boyfriend, but Namjoon didn’t care, as he always do.
He wanted a drama tonight.
And looking innocent, he smiled at Namjoon and Jin behind them.
"I knew you were really looking forward to see me."
"And you ... did you meet on the way?" Jungkook asked, looking at Jimin and the couple, worried that they had talked to each other and that they knew about Jimin and him.
"No, we just arrived at the same time, hardly the time to say hello."
Jimin would have laughed if the situation hadn’t upset him that much. He gave Jungkook a look tinged with annoyance.
Namjoon already made fun of the situation, calling Yoongi through the bar. Jimin turned then and shivered in front of the face of his boyfriend, his features betraying all the tension that had mounted in him since he observed them.
Sorry, Jimin tried to apologize silently, with a look. He barely had time to realize what Jungkook did and to be mad.
Less than 5 minutes there and nothing was ok.
But Jimin squeezed his hand to restrain him, refusing to take a step without having clarified the situation.
Jimin was shocked not to see the shadow of a doubt on the young man's face. As if the situation was perfectly normal.
"Why are you holding my hand? And ... why did you kiss me?"
Jungkook opened his mouth in surprise and seemed embarrassed.
Jimin held back a sigh but nodded, freeing his hand and glancing at Yoongi before going back to the bar door.
He folded his arms and looked at his ex, waiting for his explanations. Hoping he had good ones.
"I .. I thought that my brother didn’t need to know you and I were having a break. Cause, you know, he's very protective, and he's going to be worried for nothing..."
"We're not having a break. We’re just over. You ... you know that, right?"
He didn’t know it. Jungkook had never stopped hoping that Jimin's bad period would end and that everything would return as it was before.
"You have to tell him. Now. "
"Jimin, please, not now, I’ll tell him as soon as I can but, I don’t want to ruin the evening, or let Yoongi be cold with you to protect me. I'll tell him tomorrow. I promise you."
"Jun, I can’t play the boyfriend..."
But, unable to tell him the truth, Jimin shook his chin.
"No, no I don’t but I don’t wanna pretend to be someone I’m not."
"Jungkook. I do /not/ want to do it. I won’t do it. Yoongi will react well, if you want to tell him that we break up just now, do as you want. But tell him. Right now."
"Ok ... I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have started lying. I just didn’t want to .. I don’t know what I wanted. I'm upsetting you with stupidities."
"It's ok. I'm not mad."
"Yes, I ... We'll talk about it with Tae and Hobbi."
"Okay.. let's go back inside."
Jimin stretched a weak smile and followed him, already relieved of a weight.
"Hey lovers! We were doing bad things in a dark corner ?"
Jungkook, who seemed to have latent hatred towards Namjoon, handed him his middle finger.
And then, with half-word, he told his brother to get up to follow him.
The two brothers moved away, and Jimin took the place that had just left his secret boyfriend to greet his friends.
All he wanted was Jungkook to announce their breakup, and Yoongi also to admit to not having a perfect boyfriend in Daegu who wasn’t him.
"Why did Jungkook walk away with his brother like this?" Taehyung asked, still having a big crush on Yoongi to the point of not really hiding it.
"To announce to him our breakup."
He winked at the blond, who looked at him threateningly.
Taking himself for the chief of operations, he had everyone sit down to a precise plan, making Yoongi sat between Taehyung and Jimin, and Jimin between Yoongi and Jungkook.
"I don’t want to drink alcohol."
"Ah, Jimin, if you don’t drink you don’t play."
"I'm not playing then."
The whole thing smacks of trap. Namjoon was a vicious.
"Don’t be a baby. You don’t have to drink. If you make all your wages, you will remain more sober than ever."
But his heart lightened when on his right he felt fingers coming gently touching the tip of his.
Jimin knew he had nothing to fear as long as Yoongi was there, close to him. Neither Namjoon, nor alcohol, nor a stupid game.
"What kind of challenges can it be?" Asked Hoseok, obviously very cheerful.
"Singing, dancing, or kissing someone ..."
"And if you don’t wanna do it, you drink, is that right?"
Namjoon put his cell phone on the table, which reassured Jimin. In this way, everyone could read the screen and Namjoon would not cheat.
But Yoongi knew very well that Namjoon did not need to cheat for things to go wrong.
It was no coincidence that Namjoon had Yoongi sit between Jimin and Taehyung, and Jimin between Yoongi and Jungkook.
He had planned everything.
Nobody protested, so Namjoon started the game.
Every word made him shudder.
Jimin felt lucky not to have been concerned by this directive.
"Yoongi, kiss your neighbor on the left. Jimin! "
The high school student was shivered, shared between the desire that Yoongi gives him this kiss and the fear that Jungkook react very badly to that.
"Ok, 3 sips."
Yoongi had not hesitated, his glass quickly to his lips to drag the alcohol into his throat. He had to keep his role and his habits if he didn’t want to endanger their secret.
And Yoongi always drank for these kinds of questions.
He clicked on the phone, and inhaled through the nose reading the following question before sharing it with everyone aloud.
"Jimin is successful tonight!"
So he nodded very slowly, allowing.
Everyone except Yoongi, whose hand had left that of his boyfriend to grab his glass, tense. He had felt it coming for miles. Namjoon was probably gloating internally, this son of a b..
Stupid love triangle.
But he was afraid to read on his boyfriend's face disappointment, pain. So he just waited for everyone to finish praising Jungkook to continue the game.
But the game was nice for a time. Jin had to warm up his voice a bit, standing on the bench to sing on a lion king song.
Taking advantage of this moment of distraction, Jimin put his hand on Yoongi's knee.
Yoongi didn’t blame him.
Jimin inhaled deeply, regaining courage.
He didn’t see Hoseok knocking his phone off the table.
He didn’t see Hoseok leaning down to pick it up.
He didn’t see Hoseok standing up and giving him a shocked look.
Jimin rolled his eyes, while Jin and Yoongi couldn’t stop laughing at what Namjoon said.
Hoseok had announced this adjective looking Jimin in the eyes, without a smile, which disturbed a second the young man. His brows furrowed a little anxiously, but his friend didn’t flinch, and it was Taehyung's turn.
Jimin stretched a smile, unable to deny, and waited for Yoongi's answer, his hand moving away from his knee now that the attention was on him.
The secret boyfriend pretended to think, since he wasn’t supposed to know him very well.
Pressed by Namjoon's words, Yoongi ran a hand through his hair and answered the first word that came to him, which was important in their story.
"We said adjective matching Jimin."
“Namjoon, you’re just jealous cause I’m cute and you’re not. It's up to you to play the game again."
Jimin returned him the phone, proud.
"Aaaah. Last choice! And it's the best of all. Taehyung! "
"Wood 5 sips or ...."
Namjoon put a little suspense, watching everyone in turn, looking victorious.
He wasn’t going to like it, Yoongi knew it well.
The young man concerned by the choice, Taehyung, pretended to hesitate.
Yoongi wanted to speak to refuse, but Namjoon forbade him to say a word.
"You're not going to ruin the last round, are you?"
He was happy to slide on the end of the free seat next to Yoongi, and pretended to be embarrassed and shy, while inside, his heart was beating with excitement.
"Suck that neck!"
Jimin didn’t take his eyes off him, watching for any reaction, for the slightest hint of pleasure.
He hated to see Taehyung’s hands, Taehyung's mouth on his boyfriend, to hear the sounds he made while marking his skin.
He hated this game, and most of all, he hated Namjoon.
The only person at this table who wasn’t looking at Taehyung putting all his heart to work in making this hickey on Yoongi was Hoseok.
And what he could read on the face of his friend ended up convincing him that he hadn’t dreamed.
His friend’s jaw tight, his look tense and his lips were trembling.
He didn’t miss anything of his tense that he kept for 20mn after the last action of the game.
Neither the several looks that Yoongi tried to establish with him, to which Jimin responded only by his dissatisfaction, his jealousy being fulgurante.
Something was going on between Jimin and Jungkook's brother. Hoseok was convinced of it. The evidence was there, under his nose.
But Jimin's relationship with the band was very fragile lately. Hoseok didn’t want to make things worse.
There were too many questions in his head, to the point that Hoseok could not think of anything else.
Hoseok looked outside when the tree left, and he saw Yoongi directly approaching Jin, sharing a few words.
It was impossible for all of this to come out of his imagination.
Hoseok was immersed in his thoughts when Jimin pulled him out. Now that the four of them were alone, he was time for him to talk.
He was sorry to see the sadness on Jungkook’s face following the announcement of his ex.
"But it's not possible ... You're not going to leave us, Jimin. You know that my home is your home."
"But why going to Daegu, there are boarding schools here too, it's Seoul!"
"I can’t live in this city with them anymore, I want to be far from them, I want to breathe, I need to start somewhere else, alone."
"But does that mean we'll never see each other again?"
"Of course we will meet again Taehyung. When the situation is less complicated or I have some money to come back..."
Jimin approached and took his friend in his arms, touched.
Wondering if there was any chance that he would come back to him, if Jungkook could convince him that they could overcome the distance.
"When are you leaving?"
"I'm leaving town tomorrow, I have a train very early in the morning."
Jungkook pursed his lips, realizing he couldn’t hold him back.
"No, it’s not necessary. My father want to be the one to push me out of here."
"How are we going to talk to each other? Will they give you your cell phone back ?"
Hoseok was a little troubled by the sincerity of that moment.
Maybe he was wrong. With all the problems that Jimin had at home, when would he have time to flirt with Yoongi ?
"If you ever have a problem, and you need help, don’t forget that my brother will be in the same city."
Jimin stretched a strange smile.
"I’ll think about it. Thank you."
Jimin passed into the arms of all his friends, and went off alone to the street where his house was.
But it was in pursuit of Jimin that he left, not to go back in the city center.
Remaining at a distance, hiding behind trees, Hoseok observed.
And a few yards away, he stopped in front of a car, opened the passenger door, and went inside quickly.
Yoongi was there behind the wheel.
He leaned over to Jimin, wanting to kiss him, but the youngest pushed him away, whining and pointing at the driver's neck.
Yoongi sighed and rubbed the hickey Taehyung made on him, protesting.
Yoongi approached slowly, and at the last moment grabbed Jimin's chin to drop a smack on his lips.
Hoseok had never seen Jimin smile like he smile after that.
But the two lovers were too much absorbed by the fact of finally being together after this long evening to notice him in the night.
Jimin had a relationship with Jungkook's big brother.
A relationship that they hid, but Hoseok now carried the secret without anyone knowing it.
But Jimin was his friend too. He did not imagine betraying him by revealing what he had just discovered.
He was totally lost.
And whatever he chooses to do, be quiet or talk, he will betray one of his best friends.
Hoseok knows 😱
What should he do ?
Love you all and see you in a few days 💕
I see you all and i'm really sorry for the waiting but I can't find the time to continue this for now, I'll be back as soon as I can cause there's now way for this story to end like that.. please wait for me,
With love, Lucie.