Thread by @sarahmei

I have had an abortion. Hardest decision I ever made.

FUCK. YOU. And unfollow me, actually now that I think about it, block me - if you think you should have ANY say in that decision.

FUCK YOU. Did I mention: FUCK YOU?

https://twitter.com/yamyan/status/1062203364883292166

1% left on my phone and this is what it’s important to use it for. also: FUCK YOU if you think you have any input into my or any other person’s reproductive choices. FUCK. YOU. BLOCK. ME. You are garbage.

Termination was not a decision I came to lightly. I wanted that baby SO BADLY. She was my second. We were going to name her Celia.

But she had three X chromosomes. This was, as the doctor put it, “not a survivable condition.”

So I could have carried her to term, THREE MORE MONTHS, knowing she was doomed, and then endured the birth process, all for a baby who would die IN PAIN within hours of being separated from me.

Or she could just go to sleep. And so could I. And then we could try again.

I made the right decision - for her, and for me. My “try again” baby is turning 10 next week. I treasure both my living children, and I still mourn the one in between that my body tried so hard to make.

You want to restrict abortion? This is what you are doing: inflicting unspeakable cruelty on families that are already, in the best of circumstances, where abortion is an option, living out tragedy that nothing - NOTHING - prepares you for.

I’m ok. This was more than a decade ago now. I still get residual sadness, at certain times of year, when the light is certain ways, and I remember what it looked like out the windows of the hospital as I went in to surgery.

I sometimes wonder - what if I had been forced to carry Celia for three more months? Knowing she could not, and would not, survive once she was separated from the placenta.

Three months. Three. Months.

Doing all the everyday things: work, commute, cook, take care of my 2yo — knowing that soon, I’d have to give birth (a week-long process the first time, involving 20+ hours of active labor) to a baby that would die screaming in pain hours later.

That’s what you’re asking of women when you want to restrict abortion.

Are you prepared to spend that three months? Can you say confidently you’d still be here after?

Because I don’t think I’d be.

Maybe you don’t care about me. Maybe I’m just the collateral damage in some larger crusade that’s more important to you. Maybe losing me is regrettable, but acceptable.

In which case: you’re a fucking monster. You’re not human. There is no acceptable damage. There is only loss, and grief, and sadness, and survival. If you don’t get that:

FUCK. YOU.

I’ll be ok tomorrow. Thank you for your support. ❤️

I just realized, seeing the original quoted tweet, that I’d gone more than 10 years - TEN YEARS! - never even saying the word “abortion” out loud. I was ashamed.

But fuck that. No more shame.

I made the right decision. I could do what was right for me, because all options were open to me. I was, after all, a rich white lady living in California.

These options need to all be open to everyone. We are nowhere near that, even in California. Let’s work on that. Thx. [fin]

[ed. not. - I am in intense agreement with the original quoted tweet from @yamyan. If I disagree with a tweet and wish to discuss, I always screenshot, rather than quote-RT, for clarity & recordkeeping.]