Thread by @crashwong

It's easy to say, "Write for yourself," & much harder to do it.
But I think it's so important. When you lose sight of what you want, your writing suffers.

I've always written my stories for myself & had a strong sense of what I liked. But the two times where I really struggled were after my first SFF short story was published, & while I was doing my MFA.

My first publication was a story that I'd spent over a year trying to figure out. It only worked when I found the angle that excited me & turned the constraints of the story to my advantage.

I also had no fucking idea how to replicate that process.

I couldn't figure out why people liked that story, or what that special thing in it was. & I sure as hell couldn't figure out how to do it again.

I spent a lot of time trying to parse what other people wanted. It took years & other stories to figure out that my wants > theirs.

The MFA was challenging in good ways & bad ways. My writing grew in cool new ways I didn't expect. But there was always this pressure to write certain stories & abandon the things that I enjoyed about writing. Drop the SFF, write more sad literary "cultural" stories.

One professor told me it was a shame I didn't use my voice to tell stories that matter. I love literary realism, & I love stories that are deeply personal. But the pressure to bend into the shape that the MFA wanted made me hate them for a moment, & left me uncertain.

All that to say... writing for yourself is difficult, even when you know it's your strength. It's a constant process.

But the difference it makes when you do is incredible. All of my weakest stories have been for other people. All of my strongest ones have been for me.