I did this story because this fact has continued to amaze me: Today, mothers who work outside the home spend THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME on interactive child care as stay-at-home mothers did in the 1970s. nytimes.com/2018/12/25/ups…
And reporting it, I quickly realized that I wasn't alone in thinking that this parenting thing is a lot harder than it used to be. Turns out it is! So many of the things parents think they should do today, from lessons to exclusive breastfeeding to constant teaching, are new.
What changed? Kids are now as likely as not to be less prosperous than their parents, so there's more pressure to guide them to college and economic success. Also, the idea that kids are molded by their parents is new (and not entirely true.) nytimes.com/2018/12/25/ups…
What hasn't changed? Support for working families in America. Parenting is still considered a personal responsibility, not a societal one. So we have SO much more pressure to spend time & money on our kids -- but very little help, like subsidized child care or family leave.
Brand new research shows that relentless, time-consuming, expensive parenting has now become what Americans across class divides think is best. But it's only the most well-off parents who can achieve it. So it ends up locking in inequality. nytimes.com/2018/12/25/ups…
And the responsibility for intensive parenting still falls mostly on women (more on men than it used to, but mostly on women.) This quote from a mother in the story has stayed with me: "It isn’t what I think feminists thought they were signing up for.” nytimes.com/2018/12/25/ups…
