Thread by @priya_ebooks

i had a very nice experience today which i want to share and -SHOCK!- it involves me speaking positively of a man

which doesn't happen much round these here parts

i went to meet one of my best friends. she's recently started dating this dude

he was coming to meet us (so i could Assess Him. you know, that terrifying Best Friend Assessing Your Boo moment)

as he came into the cafe, he saw that we were in an animated conversation

he goes "oh hey! i can come back in five minutes if you need to talk privately or anything"

OH. you're POLITE polite

we say No, he should sit

so he does, and we continue the conversation we were having

*whistles* Now, this was no ORDINARY conversation

let me give you a sample

my friend: "...Men may be assaulted or killed, but not because they are MEN, but because they are lowerclass or powerless in one way or another. Men rape and murder women merely for being women"

we had this intense (albeit academic) discussion for over an hour about the gendered nature of violence, especially in rural households, and the inherent violence in masculinity

you know what this dude did the entire time?

he just sat there and listened

he didn't interject
he didn't get defensive
he didn't try to argue "logically"

he just sat there and listened. active listening! not spacing out

here and there he nodded his head, or asked her to elaborate

when the conversation switched into something lighter, that he was informed on - he suddenly took a more active part

he made jokes! funny jokes. he rejoined the conversation and he held his own. HE KNEW WHEN TO TALK AND WHEN TO NOT

he was obviously aware of some of the concepts my friend was discussing, but at no point did he say "im a feminist" or ANYTHING wretched and #woke. he just knew that that was a discussion he should let us have in peace

man. that was so lovely. i can't remember the last time a guy let me have a conversation like that in peace with another woman. WHILE he listened

i don't think it's ever happened???????????????

my friend, the second he left us: WELL???????
me: gORL
my friend: what do you think???????????????!!1!!!!!!!
me: GORLllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

of course it is entirely possible that he is just another ain't shit man and that he will turn out to be disappointing in some way that i can't predict

but let me tell you. if not. i will be dancing @ their wedding. i'm calling it

i know a lot of classes of boys

1) the WORST one: the wokeboi who will shout you down about feminism
2) the non-wokeboi who is just ignorant and defensive of his sex "not all men"
3) the guy who..........listens? and trusts women???????? on their experiences???

i know some dipshit in the comments will be like "he's only doing it to get laid"

ahahahahahahhaha. they don't know my friend. listen, if anyone is willing to quietly listen to hourlong tirades on 'men ain't shit' for months and months in order to get laid.... have @ it, boys!

sadly, none of you are. you will feel the need to interrupt and argue. without a doubt. yall just don't care about your dicks as much as your right to run your mouth

anyway. that was a nice thing that happened, and it was a Good Thing, and i wish More Such Things to occur in 2019. men surprising me in a good way, for once