Thread by @priya_ebooks

i was talking to this nice university professor - incredibly brilliant, famous dude- and he told me that after #MeToo, his department did an internal investigation

he swore that it had no sexual harassment problems. he was ready to swear that it didn't

he was like "it's all very nice people here! you won't find any bad behaviour or abuse of power"

all the men were ready to say the same
then he talked to the women in his department

EVERY ONE OF THEM TOLD HIM THERE WAS ABUSE OF POWER

he was shocked! absolutely dumbfounded to find he'd been sitting on a NEST of sexual harassment and impropriety

the thing is, I believe him. I do think he didn't know

BUT THIS IS NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE

him: "I was shocked. but why should I have been? where there is an imbalance of power, there is abuse of power. and it's usually men who are responsible"

all this to say - men, whether or not you fucking know about the male friends you enable

who you defend
who you provide cover for
whose actions you excuse

we. will. hold. you. accountable

*grimly* you better get to finding out which of your male friends are creeps, and excise them

if you don't do that, we'll assume you knew. because the truth is that you SHOULD have known

don't worry, it's remarkably easy to find out. start talking to women

and when you talk to women, don't immediately provide a character for your guy friend, you know? don't say "XYZ is such a great guy, isn't he? how was your date?"

instead, ask "what do you think of XYZ? I hope he was respectful and decent with you"

let women know they can be trusted to be honest with you. make it clear that your stance is to believe women

do this, and I guarantee you that a BUNCH of your male friends will be exposed as creeps

(going on the assumption that you actually care about not having creeps in your friend network)

sick of men's blithe ignorance sick of men's ability to look the other way sick of men's concern after the fact sick of men's privilege of ignorance
sick sick sick