, 7 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
Fire Emblem is basically just attractive people in fancy clothing beating the crap out of each other and monsters, which is basically my entire aesthetic.
this is just Hot People Fighting: the game
Day Two: the invaders came, we know not where from. But they came swiftly, suddenly, silky hair flowing like untamed rivers, skin so radiantly perfect it shamed the sun to touch. Farms were abandoned as we fled behind the walls. The sexy siege had begun.
Day seven: The onslaught is relentless. They keep doing that thing where they pretend to drop something so they can bend over to pick it up. A wall of toned glutes and six packs rebuffs our every counterattack. The eldest among us cannot recall a time so dark nor so horny.
Day Thirteen: We lost Handric in the night. With him by our sides, we might have stood a chance. But during the evening, they came marching in heels high as spears. I caught the battle in glimpses of thigh high boots and swishing braids. The thirst was too much. He went, parched.
Final Day: I cant hold out anymore. One by one, our supplies have dwindled while our people disappear. The invaders have begun greasing themselves up, oiled pecs too horrible to watch, too perfect to look away. Tonight, the leader comes for me. She smells like sandalwood. Amazing
@MykeCole suffer
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