Thread by @JohnnyRoedel

haven't been able to write for a week because I had a piece in my head that I really didn't want to write. It was stuck in my brain like a popcorn kernel in between a couple of teeth. I kept trying to put off writing it but I couldn’t. The whole thing haunted me 24/7.

It became clear that I couldn't move onto anything else until I finally wrote it out. I sat down at three hours ago and agonized over every line.

Normally when I struggle to write something I never ever share it with the world because it's usually a mess.

This is no exception - but I am compelled to post it for reasons I can't quite figure out.

For days I have been feeling the suffering of another person who is full of despair - but I don't know who it is. It has weighed on me like a blanket.

If I wrote this for you. I love you. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I'm sorry you feel like you are at a brick wall in your life. I can feel your agony. I can feel your lack of hope. I can feel your isolation. I'm so sorry. I understand the grief you are experiencing.

If you can spare about two minutes I need you to know something important - since I don't know who you are, I wrote it down for you and dropped it into the ocean like a message in a bottle. I hope it gets to you.

* * * * * * * * * *

sit in a soft chair
and listen to my voice

I need you to know that
you still have a choice

take your fingernails
out of the skin in your wrists

this terrible moment will pass
and you will persist

I know, my love, I know that you feel like a coin lost down a very deep grate

I know you think that hope isn't coming but the thing is, hope's just usually just late

your mind is lying to you
you are much more than your past sins

this isn't the moment when you give up this is the moment when you finally begin

hold on, my love, hold on
this raging storm will fade away soon

and then the two of us can reshape your life like as if were a contorting animal balloon

I will help you curve your straight line heartache into something that you can transcend

let's bend your one way suffering into a circle so that your story has no true end

please listen to me,
don't you give up on your next breath
I need you to stand and fight

grasp a hold of my fat
hand like it's your last rope
and climb back into the light

we need you, we need you
we need you, we need you
don't you dare try and go

I need you, my love, I need you
so, give me your torn up heart
that together, we can sew

the darkness has no power
over you that you don't
freely offer it or give

light your past on fire like it's a bonfire and don't be afraid to
finally fucking live

hold on, I'm here
hold on, I'm not
going away

Hold on, I'm right here
Hold on, I'm right here
With you, I will stay

and stay
and stay