Thread by @DmitryOpines

-March 28th 2019-

Following a series of defections, the House of Commons is now 650 independent parties.

Still, Theresa May remains Prime Minister because no one actually wants to be in the driver's seat for Brexit, they just want to later claim they'd have nailed it.

Mrs May boards a flight to Brussels, her 96th in March.

She believes she can secure a majority for the WA in the House of Commons if the EU drops the backstop, bans all non-diesel cars, and apologizes for that one time a Romanian accidentally looked a Tory Lord in the eye.

Having despaired of rolling over trade agreements with the EU's existing FTA partners, the UK provides independent control over their trade policy to individual Shires, provided they sign FTAs with the UK to run up the score a bit.

Negotiations with Hull stall over agriculture.

Desperate to maintain supply, the UK government drives every bus with a stupid Brexit related slogan on it into the English Channel end to end to form a land-bridge to France.

Dominic Raab is shocked at how few busses are required.

Prominent Leave figures, confronted with the realities of the No-Deal Brexit many of them have been advocating for, fall to infighting.

The ERG schism over the exact order of blame between remoaners, the civil service, the EU and me personally.

The UK's Post Brexit tariffs remain unannounced, but the public has strong assurances from cabinet ministers that they will be completely eliminated and remain fully in place.

The weather remains shitty.