Thread by @andyRoidO

This you people's parenting "debate" has descended into Either-Or Territory, and that's a missed opportunity.

Everytime I go to the market, I observe the traders who bring their kids. As a dad, parenting fascinates me, & I have a soft spot.
I have seen both super affectionate and super abusive parents in that market. All struggling financially etc.
It's not about comfort or wealth.

There's this particular guy I see in Kaduna Street Fruit Market. If you pass there after school, you will see his son with him. Climbing all over his body. Doing hide and seek under table. They have fun.

The woman I buy pepper from is different. Her son is older, and helps after school. She speaks sternly and minimally to him. But one day he was alone, and I gave him extra money.
The next time, she thanked me with tears in my eyes, and blessed my children for what i did for hers.

Both those parents love their children. Undeniably.

I never doubted my dad's love for me for a single day. When i was smaller, he was not verbally or physically expressive of his love. In my tweens/teens, he saw other dads who were, and he ADDED it to his parenting arsenal. That's what good parenting is: improvement.

I am reading people ridiculing and sneering at parents saying "in love you", and calling it the stuff of movies. Disappointing. Many of our parents loved us but didn't do it. Fine. But are we now saying that in itself, "I love You" is worthless? It is a welcome addition.

I understand my dad. He came from a different time and culture. I love him for loving me in the ways he believed were important. But i also love him for being willing to learn new ways.

Among rich, poor, and middle class parents, some are deciding verbal/physical affection are not priorities, & others are disagreeing. As long as we can agree that it is a GOOD thing (& not ridicule it to win on twitter), But that there are ways to show love without it, great.

But let's not continue spouting this rubbish that there is "no time" to do it when the parents are struggling with feeding family.

Please aleays remember by guy in Kaduna Street Fruit Market, always goofing off with his son.

All the best to all well meaning parents.

Let me add: I do not believe that lack of verbal affection from parents is sufficient to lead to emotionally stunted people.
I cannot of course speak for everyone, but from what I see, a lot of naijas simply get emotional affirmation from siblings, and this works just fine.