Thread by @priya_ebooks

had a really good conversation with a friend about sex positivity and it helped crystallize so many of the things that i've been thinking

the problem with sex positivity is that the sex is not GOOD. as a cis woman who has sex with men.....sex isn't good!!!

i used to be a huge slutty slut but in the last two years...i've stopped having casual sex

just not interested. why? because having casual sex means having BAD sex

i don't mean the sex is bad because there isn't emotional connection, fuck that. i don't need an emotional connection

what i DO need is a partner who is invested in my enjoyment. who fucks me the way i want to be fucked

men are simply...not invested...

when was the last time a dude stopped you midway through BJ ‘hey, babe, it’s ok, don’t worry about me- let me make sure you come. how do you want it’

now think, as a woman - how many times have you let the dude off the hook? he doesn’t need to make YOU come. he just needs to come. that’s the mission

there’s a fundamental imbalance in cishet sex. And that means the sex isn’t good for us!

now of course you can say ‘I don’t need to come, I enjoy being penetrated’ etc etc but. Let’s be real. SOMETIMES you need to come

the only way you're having good sex is if a partner is invested in your coming. and unfortunately, in most casual encounters with straight men.................they're just not

so why have more casual sex? what the fuck is the point

this is why i called a moratorium on one-night stands. they make me feel shit and awful. and that has NOTHING to do with feeling used

it's that i don't want to be penetrated (poorly) for 8 minutes by some dude who makes me work hard and does not return the favour WHATSOEVER

vide le problem with sex positivity

"hey girls, have tons of sex" it's BAD SEX, mama. why are we telling girls to have bad sex

you should be teaching girls to differentiate bad sex from good sex. THAT'S what you should be teaching them!!! not all sex is built equal

*shrugs* i would love nothing more than to be on my Samantha Jones but

that model simply does not work for me. so i'll stick to having good sex with regular partners

to the rest of the straight male population - call us when you get better at sex. bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!