Thread by @mwabilimwagodi

It was a hot Sunday afternoon in Mombasa back in the year 2002. *James (not his real name), was going about his work as a banqueting waiter at the poolside of this hotel setting up for the night's private dinner party. The hotel's manager, a short and stout Indian man with...

...thinning hair on his head walked up to James fuming furiously and loudly, something about the set up being wrong. James is a calm guy. He politely asked him what the problem was.
No. I don't vant tok tok.
This wery wery wrong set up. Remove my uniforms and go home!

James was confused. What is wrong with this man? What have I done wrong?
Please sir, tell me, what is it that I have done wrong?
No. Go away I no tok tok anymore. Wrong set up. Remove MY uniforms and go!!!
James told him if you're firing me then please write me a letter.

No write letter here nah. Please go home. His head was bobbing vigorously with anger. Remove uniform here and go!
Listen sir, this uniform does not belong to the company. I bought it with my own money. James responded calmly, measuring his words.
The manager was standing...

...on the edge of the swimming pool. James tells me he made a decision to shove the manager into the swimming pool.
I wasn't angry. It was not rage. I had been fired already. There was nothing to lose.
James charged at the GM head first, grabbed him and wrapped his arms...

...tightly around him and shoved him into the swimming pool. The thundering sound of the huge splash that followed shook the foundations of this hotel.

James went to the locker rooms, fetched a fresh set of uniforms and a pair of shoes and went back to the poolside.

After a few hours, the HR manager called him to his office and issued him with a summary dismissal letter.
Before signing the letter, James requested to be excused from the office to visit the toilets. He went to the locker rooms and took out a hotel petty cash voucher.

He duly filled it for a request for KES 10,000 and on the dotted line where the General Manager signs to authorize the bearer of the PCV to collect cash at the Front Office cashier he signed it.
He had perfected the art of faking peoples signatures in high school.

It was a hobby, that's what James says.
He collected the money and went back to the HR manager's office. It was just after 7pm, the poor man had to be called back to the office so as to process this case. He removed the small wad of money from his pocket.
He counted 3,000.

He gave this to the HR manager. I want you to type me a resignation letter.
What for?
Do as I say please.
After he was done typing the letter on the electronic type writer (the only computer in that hotel was in the GMs office),
James signed against his name.

He then went on to sign against the Acknowledged By part with the GMs signature.
The HR manager was a Luo man who had lived in Mombasa for several years. He had two wives, cousins of course.
His nearly popped out of when he saw what James did.
That is fraud! He screams.

James is a calm guy. He is what the ladies on Twitter call cute. A Kikuyu by birth but you can clearly see his Maasai roots from his infectious smile.
You are going to put this resignation letter in my file. Then you will shred this dismissal letter now.

The HR manager really needed the money. His family was growing bigger by the day. Wife number two was 7 months pregnant with their 4th child, wife number one had 3.
He did as he was told.
I will see you on Monday, James tells him. I will come to demand my payment.
Bye.

He went to the HR office on Monday at 11am. After being made to sit outside for two hours, the HR manager called him into his office and informed him that as per the GM, he was summarily dismissed and he was not entitled to any compensation.
I will be back.

Through a friend, he was introduced to this labor officer from the government. He gave him 500bob for the sit down meeting they had to "prepare the case".
The labor officer told him to make copies of all employee muster rolls. That evening, he spoke to one of his colleagues...

...who agreed to sneak the muster rolls out.
The total amount the company owed him as per the labor officer calculations was KES 60,000/-
This money was not little in 2002.
They went to the hotel on Friday. Together with the labor officer. They used the front entrance.

After being made to sit at the reception for 30 minutes, they were escorted into the GMs office by the HR manager.
The GM brushed off the labor officer. There is no case here. Stop vasting yorrr time.
What we want to see the dismissal letter. I have to file it at labor office.

It's ok. No prolem. Bring file Mr. Omolo no prolem, the Indian GM says, his thick bushy moustache didn't move when he spoke.
The HR manager presented the file containing James' firing letter to the GM. The poor man fainted on the spot.
They called the first aide teams to help.

When he came around, he was sweating profusely while holding his tiny head. He was muttering incorrigible words.
He had lost it.
The labor officer demanded KES 100,000 to be paid immediately to the aggrieved James. 60,000 terminal dues and 40,000 for distress.

The GM asked the HR manager what was going on.
But I giw you the summary letter nah? His head was bobbing meekly this time around. He was completely drained of all his energy.
No. The letter in the file was what you gave me, the HR manager retorted in a heavy Luo accent.

So vat ve do now?
Omera you have to pay. Who told you to go around signing employee resignation letters???The problem here sir is that you don't listen to me. Now look. His voice grew a decibel or two higher as he winked at James.
He approved a PCV for 60K immediately.

He then drew a cheque for 40K in James' name.
The HR manager, James and the labor officer met at 3 Coins bar at 7pm. He put 10K in a brown envelope for the labour officer and another 5K in another envelope for the HR manager.
They hugged and laughed.

They all drowned the first bottles of Guiness, the short round ones from the past in a flash after a cheers.

***
Two weeks later, the directors of the company fired the GM and deducted 100K from his terminal dues. They refused to pay for his air ticket back to Mumbai too.

For full disclosure, James is currently somewhere in Zanzibar as a Restaurant manager in a big hotel. He is a form two drop out. He started out in the industry at 17 years old as a cleaner. He has grown through the ranks over the years due to his hard work and brains.

He had worked in that hotel for two years. He does not remember how many times he fraudulently took money using the fake signature on a PCV. No one will never know really.
That's how good he was at faking people's signatures.