Thread by @L_ou_ise

I feel like making you all laugh today so here is a #storytime of the first and only time I had surgery, two years ago. Yeah it’s about surgery but I PROMISE you’re gonna laugh bc this was truly a series of unfortunate events.

First, time for a little bit of backstory. I am a cheerleader. I base. Which means I literally lift humans up in the air. This makes me very prone to injury obviously and I have countless videos of me getting hit in the face by someone’s feet. But that one time was different.

It was a regular Friday night practice and things were going well. I had my flyer’s foot in my hands and we were about to do a tick tock which means she was supposed to switch legs.
I bent my fingers a tiny bit and she landed straight on my finger, forcing it bent unnaturally.

It hurt a lot and I heard something crack but I decided to still try and keep basing. I literally couldn’t, the pain was blinding me so I asked to sit down.
My coaches and I thought it was a sprain but I could no longer straighten my finger and it hurt SO BAD.

At the end of practice I went home because it was 11pm on a Friday and I wasn’t about to go to the ER for a sprained finger.
I took a painkiller but it wasn’t enough. I could not sleep. So the next day I went to the pharmacy to ask for a balm to soothe sprains.
My pharmacist:

The pharmacist took one look at my finger and said “it’s broken honey, you need to go to the ER immediately”
I tried to argue against it I was like no it’s not blue I’m just super pale it’s just a minor thing I promise.
My pharmacist was having none of it so I listened to her

So here I was at noon on a Saturday heading to the ER on an empty stomach (what a dumb idea) and in a tremendous amount of pain.
I arrived there and obviously there were so many people. The lady at reception was literally so rude but the nurse I saw afterwards was super nice

She directed me to the orthopedic ER and told me she’d give me a pain killer. She forgot and I was too shy to ask. (I’m stupid)
I went to the orthopedic ER waiting room and waited there for five whole hours. Starving, in pain; so I did some people watching to pass the time.

People were in really crazy situations sometimes so I totally understood that my possible broken finger was not at all as urgent, hence the wait. This is my PSA: be kind to your nurses, they’re not responsible for the fact that you’re waiting.
Finally I saw a doctor

The doctor told me I had to go get an x ray so there was even more waiting there and the x ray technician kept telling me to straighten my finger and I was like
I can’t
Like
That’s kind of why I’m here son

Then I saw the x ray. And I knew.

I’m no doctor but even I can spot a broken joint on an X-ray.
After waiting one more hour a doctor came to explain to me that I had a broken born as well as a torn tendon and ligament. It’s called a Mallet finger.
My cheerleading season was cut short. I was trying not to cry.

After that she had to put a temporary splint to try and stop the situation from evolving and see if it would repair itself or if I would need surgery.
Keep in mind I had no pain killers in my system.
She straightened my finger and I almost fainted. She asked if I was ok.

I was finally out of the ER at 7 pm with still no food in my system but a prescription for Tramadol which I had never taken before.
Let’s just say I slept well that night.
On my follow up visit the intern told me the situation was degrading and I would probably need surgery

He said he’d check with his attending and call me back but basically I was going to need surgery because otherwise I’d completely lose mobility in my finger since the broken part of my joint was inserting itself underneath the other part of the joint.
me @ my finger:

I had no news for like a week and a half and then on a random Friday I got a call saying I was going to have surgery on Monday?
Like? I have a job couldn’t you have given me a heads up????
I also got 0 explanation from the surgeon besides “don’t eat or drink after 11pm sunday “

thankfully I called the hospital and a wonderful nurse explained to me this was a “walk in in the morning walk out in the evening” kind of surgery with only local anaesthesia which reassured me a little bit.
She also gave me the correct time and place bc the surgeon had not...

So on that Monday I arrived at the hospital at 8am, giving myself half an hour to find the right place to go (it’s a big big hospital with no welcome desk)
I was there early and the nurse checked me in. She said I’d probably have to wait a bit.

I was sent to a room with two chairs in it, no bed, and given surgery attire to put on.
I mentally congratulated myself on shaving my legs because oh my god. I had to wear surgery underwear but OF COURSE I was on my period.
So I was sat there half naked and bleeding 😂😂

People came and went all day in the chair next to me and around 2pm I was dehydrated and hungry so I started asking questions.
I was told I was in the emergency surgery department but my thing was not super urgent so everyone was basically prioritized over me.

Around 5 pm they told me the ambulatory service was closing soon so I’d have to sleep at the hospital.
I had no clothes to sleep in???
I had not scheduled to stay the night???
What even was happening???

I was told to put all of my stuff in a plastic bag that they’d carry to the room I was going to sleep in after surgery.
Then finally around 6.30 pm after waiting 10 hours someone came to wheel me down to the OR. I thought I was close to being done but BOI WAS I A FOOL

I was left alone for probably a good thirty minutes in a freezing waiting room in the OR until someone came to fetch me to prep me for surgery.
I was supposed to get an IV and it took the intern 5 tries to be able to put it on me. I’m lucky I don’t mind needles

Afterwards an anesthesiologist came up to me and explained the process of making my arm fall asleep by sending anesthetic directly into my nerve it was SO interesting
I watched as he made my arm fall asleep but I was weirded out bc I could still feel my arm

He laughed with me and told me that if I wasn’t sure it had worked I should just try and scratch my nose with my arm that was asleep
I tried and OF COURSE I punched myself in the face bc my arm was asleep. It was hilarious and the nurse couldn’t stop laughing

So anyway 30 minutes later I hear the anesthesiologist say « what the fuck are they doing in the OR they need to operate on her soon or else the anesthetic will wear out »
So I was laying there stressed af and half delirious and pretty convinced I had bled everywhere on the bed

An intern arrives and says the surgeon is ready. She tells me I’m going to have to walk to the OR bc they don’t want to move the bed and I’m like???
Sis I’m half naked????
I have to carry my IV and my dead arm???
And walk to where I’m supposed to have surgery??? What the fuck??

I walk to the OR, holding my left arm and my IV with my right arm and hoping that there isn’t blood dripping down my legs.
The surgeon extends a hand to say hi so of course I made a joke like « I’d shake your hand but I’m in the middle of carrying something »
He looks at me like

The surgery starts and it’s super disturbing to hear people talk about your body and like do stuff to it that you can’t see or feel.
Mainly the surgeon and the intern think my fingers are too tiny and they’re annoyed bc they have to use extra small rods to stabilize my bone

There’s this awkward moment where the intern who’s here to talk to me while I get the surgery so I don’t panic and I got asked to talk less bc it was annoying sksjdjzksks I was literally so embarrassed

Anyway the surgery ends and I ask the surgeon whether he plans on giving me a few weeks off work (I worked as a receptionist at the time so I literally had to type on a computer all day) and he looks at me and says « no, why would I? » and then leaves the OR

I’ll continue later bc it’s not over but I have shit to do apparently hahaha

once the surgery is over they put you in a room while the anaesthesia wears out, it was 10pm i was starving (23 hours without food or water) and the pain in my hand was starting to wake up.
I got mild pain killers and asked for water and food and they said "It's better to wait"

I waited for a good 30 minutes before someone transported me back to the room I was supposed to sleep in.
A very kind lady gets me situated in a shared room and tells me she's gonna bring me food.
I ask if I can have my bag with my stuff so that I can tell my parents I'm ok.

Lo and behold: they don't have the bag.
At this point, ladies and gentlemen, I'm literally looking around for the cameras because this can only be a prank.
Not a prank.
They've lost my bag that had all my stuff in it.
I burst into tears and beg to be allowed to use a phone.

The lady feels sorry for me and says I'm allowed one phone call (like im in custody or some shit hahah) so I call my dad.
I explain and ask him to call my mom and he's like "i don't wanna" (divorced parents lol) like DUDE CAN YOU COOPERATE??? I hang up hoping he does

Afterwards I'm a mess and crying because I need to go to the bathroom but everything hurts and I can barely walk and life is so hard and I stink and I've been wearing the same hospital gown for too long and the food I've been brought looks disgusting and WHY WON'T THE PAIN STOP??

I end up eating a little, calming down a bit, and since I can't sleep and have literally NOTHING TO DO because I have NONE OF MY STUFF, I go into the corridor and find a chair and a few magazines. I ask the nurse if it's alright if I stay there so I won't bother anyone
her:

Another nurse walks by, sees me, and we start talking. I explain I've had quite a day and she's comforting me and we are talking and joking until a patient calls for her.
The painkillers all kick in while I am alone in the corridor and I know I'm going to faint.

So I get up from the chair and I'm like "Excuse me?" until another nurse sees me and I say "I am going to faint"
She laughs because like who the heck WARNS YOU before fainting and next thing I know I'm on the floor with her looking at me half concerned half laughing

I come to and apologise for fainting and she's really entertained by the fact that I warned her ever so politely.
She sends someone to get me pyjamas while I'm getting half delirious because all the pain killers all kicked in at the same time and she walks me to my bed

After that I had the BEST night of sleep until someone woke me up around 5 am to ask me whether that random bag they had found was mine.
AND IT WAS
IT WAS A MIRACLE
I FELT SO BLESSED

I was out of the hospital the next day and had to keep the rods in my fingers for three months, I even had to go get my hair washed at the hairdresser for a bit because I couldn't do it myself.
But yeah that's it, I'll tell you about the day they remove the rods some other time

I'd like to state that this is funny now but I was not at all laughing when I thought all my stuff was gone and I had no way to communicate with anybody. it was truly scary. But I'm grateful it ended well (well relatively, I still lost movement in my finger but oh well)