Thread by @twitandrewking

Ok, did some digging into WtF is going on with celery prices, and it seems we are being duped by a celery conspiracy...

Usually, $1.99 or $3 a bunch, it is now $6.99 at local grocery stores.

So why? This is where it gets weird... #CeleryConspiracy

Abating to know why celery is now $7 a bunch, a recent National Post article states:

“Contributing to the hefty price (of celery) now is weather and travel. Canada imports a significant portion of its celery, particularly from California.”

.....

“The Yuma and Oxnard regions of the United States … have experienced unseasonably cold temperatures and heavy rainfall over the past few months,” Statistics Canada spokesperson France Gange wrote in an email.

Ok so Climate Change is the reason for celery prices? .ok, but wait..

So let’s see what are the BEST conditions for growing celery...well, here it is straight from the Farmers Almanac:

“130-140 days of mostly cool weather. Celery will not tolerate high heat.A constant, unfailing water supply. The soil must stay watered at all times”

Cold & wet.

So this contradicts the stated reason celery prices are high: because it’s been cold and wet, yet for celery to grow well, it is stated that celery needs exactly what they said is causing a shortage: cold and wet...and is there even a shortage? Not from what I’ve seen.

And yet in Northern Ontario, where food is usually more expensive, celery is reported to only be $2.99.

Then, there is this theory that a “juice craze” is the reason. Seriously? This craze comes from a guy that says a spirit tells him that celery juice is the cure-all.

So a ghost told some dude that celery is the best?!? What? This is why celery is $7?! fishy. #celeryconspiracy

So between contradicting celery growing info from the media and farmers, and some ghosts saying celery is the cure-all, this whole thing is bizarre.

That’s all. I’ll just my cheez whiz on a cracker instead.. Gnight! #CeleryConspiracy