Thread by @Okeibunor11

Yesterday I was invited by a group of young adults to discuss preparing financially and emotionally for marriage.
It gave me reason to think.
I will share some of those thoughts in today's #MondayMotivation I hope it helps the singles and even the married.

I will start off with Emotional Preparation because it is more important than Financial preparation from all fronts....

Contrary to what many may think

#MondayMotivation
#COthots

I want to ask a hypothetical question..

How Emotionally Vacant are you?

Emotional Vacancy is critical to preparing for marriage and I will give an illustration.

Once I looked into the car of someone I know and found the car was busy, seat and floor alike except for the drivers seat. Some people are like this car.

#MondayMotivation

They may be single by status, but there is no space for anyone in their life.
Speaking of Emotional vacancy, if you are going to bring anyone to share your life forever, you must be sure you are willing to make space for them when they show up.

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Emotional vacancy is important because marriage is a journey of ADJUSTMENTS😊

If you do not have a large heart and elastic emotions you will be like a person flying a plane without going to flying school....., what's going to happen? 🙄

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Are you willing to accept the idiosyncrasies that you will never see in courtship no matter how long it lasts?🙂

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#EmotionalVacancy

Some singles have waited so long or have been disappointed quite often that they are no longer emotionally expectant. This is an unconscious repellant.
A proverb says "when we close our eyes afraid of seeing evil, we would be oblivious when good passes by"

#MondayMotivation

Emotional vacancy reflects in your words, your thoughts and your actions .
If your mindset is fixed and your thoughts are filled with the hurtful past, you are emotionally occupied and not exactly ready to be married even though you are single and mingling.

#MondayMotivation

Are you easily irritated by others? Do you find it difficult to accommodate contrary opinion?
Do you find it difficult to function when others whom you love, overstay their welcome around you?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you are not emotionally vacant.

Now, in addition to emotional preparation, see this perspective.

The balanced mindset before going into marriage is to "Expect the best but be prepared for the Worst"

#MondayMotivation

So, if you haven't found someone yet, the question for you is:

"Are you looking for the right person for you?"

#MondayMotivation

And if you have already found someone, my question is:

Assuming the person doesn't change, will you be happy living with them as they are today for the rest of your life?

#MondayMotivation

These two questions speak directly to your emotions. It is your emotion that determines EVERYTHING

Financial Preparation

You can save for a wedding but I don't know anyone who saves for their marriage.
A culture of prudence is essential before and after you get married . Focus on the essentials as you prepare. Nobody cares about half the things you lose sleep over...

as you prepare for the wedding.

DO NOT BREAK THE BANK for your wedding day. Stick to essentials and you will have a budget surplus to enjoy a decent honeymoon with minimal pressure.

#MondayMotivation

I was 'technically' broke before my wedding. I stuck to the essentials. I am not in paid employment&so my income is undefined.

I think finding the right person is the most important factor.For then, both of you can pull in your resources and channel it sustainably.

#COthots

My wife was very patient with me and I was under no undue pressure at any time to be who I wasn't .

It is a risk to Marry a man or woman whom you are trying to impress.

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#COthots

If you marry someone you are trying to impress, no matter how hard you try, you are likely to end up disappointing them and in spite of your sacrifices, they are often less forgiving.

#RelationshipMgt
#MondayMotivation
#COthots

Finally...

Marry someone who complements you not someone who competes with you. 😊

Let's take a look at Genesis 2:18
_And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him_.

God found a Help meet( not mate) for Adam.

A help to meet his needs.💐

Here is the big pill...
Your heart often goes for you MATE. But your head goes for your MEET.

Please follow your Head.

#PreparingforMarriage

It is figurative.
Its not often that your heart & head longs for the same person

The person our head directs us to may just be the right for us in the long run, over and above the person our heart longs for.

Our heart sees now. Our head sees later. Marriage is a marathon...

You need to know what is important to you in life, in other to be sure that what you are looking for in a spouse aligns with this importance.

In other words, .Don't get lost trying to find someone else..When you "fall" in Love, Be safe.

-End
#MondayMotivation