Thread by @pjf

CW: Loss, money

Isn't it weird funeral directors operate as for-profit businesses?

I know they only want to shoulder the burden of the grieving, but capitalism only works when participants are rational, informed, and hold equal power. I'd hate to misinterpret their motives.

In other news, I'm visiting funeral directors today, who will find my business dealings dial turned up to eleven.

We'll see how things go. Last time I did this was for mum's funeral, and I remember walking out with dad and him asking how I got most of the quote to disappear.

We'll see if I'm up to tweeting tips after the end of today, but most of it involved questioning everything, asking for itemised quotes, and knowing they will start the conversation by anchoring a whole lot of prices up front.

At mum's funeral they showed me a selection of caskets that were priced at thousands of dollars.

Mum was getting cremated, not doing a high-end vampire cosplay. She'd be in the box a couple of hours at most.

I asked if I could supply my own, and suddenly budget options appeared

This was repeated at every step. Catering, transport, music, printing. At each point I asked if we could do our own, and suddenly other options appeared.

And the other options weren't awful. They just weren't teak-and-silver extravagance.

At the end we were filling in paperwork, and the funeral director didn't even ask my occupation. He just wrote down "businessman".

And while I expect today's meetings to be friendly and warm, it still irks me that this is a for-profit business dealing with vulnerable people.

That's not to say I think funeral directors are somehow morally wrong. We need folks to specialise in this, to help those suffering from loss.

But I think as a country we've failed if for-profit options are the norm, because this is a case where that's particularly unfair.

Also because I shared my thoughts on the internet doesn't mean I'm after unsolicited advice, no matter how well intentioned it might be.