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It may not be too late. I actually do not suggest merely informing our friends, relatives, and associates they’re racist, hearing their angry denials, arguing about why they are, and walking away deflated. 1/
A more effective method in telling them they’re racist is creating a conceptual space where they can define racist and ultimately themselves (as racist). Tell them by getting them to tell themselves. 2/
When a racist says to me, “I’m not racist.” I don’t say, “Yes, you are!” I ask, “Okay, what is a racist? How do you define a racist?” When they resist defining it or say they don’t know, I ask, “How can you be so sure you are not racist if you don’t know what a racist is?” 3/
If they stubbornly refuse to define racist at the same time they claim, “I’m not racist,” then you have a close-minded person on your hands. Let’s not waste our precious time with minds closed in caskets. We won’t revive their minds from the dead. 4/
If open to defining a racist, then steer them away from defining it as Klansmen, bad person, based on intention, etc. Steer them to defining it as someone expressing a racist idea (racial hierarchy) or supporting racist policy (yields racial inequity) w/ their (in)action 5/
Once you agree on a working definition of racist, then ask them to explain their positions on policies that are causing inequity or on the cause(s) of any racial inequity. After they explain, ask, “Based on your definition of a racist, is that position racist?” 6/
Explain to them racist is not a fixed category; it is not who a person is but a reflection of what a person is saying or doing in the moment. Explain to them we are all either being racists or antiracists. Explain to them they have the ability to change, to be an antiracist. 7/
Talk about what it means to be an antiracist. And we can’t be effective in these convos if we’re in denial about our racism, if we’re not versed in racist policy and racial inequity, if we’re not learning about antiracism. We can’t change anyone if we’re not changing ourselves.
