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1. When you ask for feedback on creative work you need to be supremely clear on do you want 1) emotional support for your creative ambition 2) Useful critique on how to make it better. Most people are good at one or the other, not both.
2. Both kinds of feedback are important, but their sources are often different. And that sets up a trap for most creative people: the desire for support and critique simultaneously! ( mostly a dream).
3. Some people believe in YOU as a person - either because they share time with you in real life or know your past work and have benefited from it. Which is great. But that gives them a bias for evaluating the goodness in what you do next.
4. What you do next is... new! Maybe it's good, maybe it isn't. Who is going to tell you? There's a lot of pressure for your best friend or supporter to be honest here. Honestly, for them, could mean hurting your feelings! Which they don't want to do. Unless...
5. If they REALLY care about your creative ambitions they know you need some tough love. Some thoughtful critique. Some thoughts about alternatives, even if you don't follow them. They see questions, framed properly, as a rare asset - not an insult.
6. The most useful sources for feedback are not the biggest fans (who are awesome!). It's people who are fans but are forthcoming about their opinions. "This could be better" "this needs to refer to X not Y" - That's who has practical utility in making the "new thing" better.
7. I invite feedback from people I know will disagree - but THOUGHTFULLY. So I have a chance to consider their perspective, think better thoughts and benefit from it. We learn nothing from people who tell us "It's perfect! you are brilliant! change nothing!"
8. But we need both - people who emotionally support us ("I will read anything you write! And cheer you on!") and people who help us make drafts better ("I will honestly tell you what's strong and weak about this project") - We need two kinds of support, not one. /FIN
