Thread by @JuliusGoat

You: *hit by a bus* I WAS HIT BY A BUS!
Me: Ugh why is everything about politics?
You: I GOT HIT BY A BUS
Me: See, it's the shouting turns people off
You: MY LEG IS BROKEN
Me: I just live my life; why this guilt?
You: I'm bleeding a lot
Me: Exactly why I don't get hit by busses

You: Please just call an ambulance
Me: Why? *I* don't need one
You: I WAS HIT. BY. A. BUS.
Me: Oh and who's going to pay for that?
You: I think you were on that bus
Me: I hate all this PC, most people aren't this political
You: is that a bus driver's uniform
Me: oops gotta go

"Well if they don't want to be hit by buses, why do they stand on the curbs? Hello? That's exactly where the buses are. Am I crazy here?"

"It's WORSE than that Tucker. They're TRYING to get hit by buses to take advantage of our HEALTH care system that WE regular Americans PAY for with OUR taxes. Heil Hitler."

"That makes so much sense when you think about it, Laur— wait, did you just ... just say ... "

"Hmm?"

"Never mind. Totally cool with it either way. But if getting hit by buses is SO bad for people, WHY is it that nobody said anything when people were hit by buses when OBAMA was president? Sean?"

"Oh COME ON. This is just fascist liberal nonsense. When I was a kid we got hit by a bus every week and our heads swelled to the size of melons but we didn't complain. Also: WHAT buses? Do buses even exist? Have you ever seen one? I haven't. Back to you Laura."

"Thank you, Sean, you're always terrifying to see up close. In summation: buses. Are they killing people on our curbs? And if they are, does anybody care? Certainly regular normal everyday working original constitution if you know what I mean Americans don't. Wink."

"We're looking at the buses, and we're looking very closely. I know more about buses than anyone else. I can drive 3 buses at once, and never hit anybody. But our Democrat bus laws are very bad. If Nancy would change them, I wouldn't have to tell drivers to drive on the curb."