Thread by @celestelabedz

My undergrad alumni magazine emailed me for a short interview, and they asked me a question that I've gotten a lot, but it never sits quite right with me:

“What advice would you give to young girls in particular to help them succeed in STEM?”

[Thread]

Everyone who asks is looking for answers like “study hard,” “stay curious,” “believe in yourself,” or “don’t let the haters get you down.” It’s nice to hear something that you might find printed on a Dove chocolate wrapper, delivered with an encouraging smile.

Those are all fine pieces of advice, of course, but they’re not specific to girls like the question is asking. I would advise anyone of any gender to believe in themselves and stay curious!

Part of me doesn’t want to answer at all. The question kind of implies that if we just gave girls the right advice and they followed it, they’d be perfectly fine in STEM, ignoring all of the structural inequities that work against women in many STEM environments.

The idea that we need to “fix” women with the right advice rather than dismantling the structures that disadvantage them is more palatable for some people (like those who don’t want to acknowledge the advantages those structures gave them).

There is real advice I could give, like “the gender ratio of a potential advisor’s co-authors can be a red flag that they don’t work well with women” or “see if your Title IX office has a good track record of actually supporting victims, so you can weigh whether to go to them.”

It’s hard to hear that kind of advice, though, since it’s a reminder of some awful hurdles that many women have to jump in STEM. Thinking about negative stuff like that isn’t fun, and it can even drive people away (with good reason). Plus, it’s not as kid-friendly.

It’s also strange to give advice when I owe a lot to privilege. I can advise a girl to study hard like I did, but I can’t make them be born in a good school district like I was. I can advise finding role models like I did, but I can’t give them a parent in science like I have.

So what do I say? I don't know. My answer is different every time. Lately I try to turn the answer toward a point about equity issues if I can. Sometimes I'm tired and just say the generic "believe in yourself" stuff. Regardless, I feel like I'm not doing the question justice.

I know I’m not the only one to get this kind of question, and I bet I’m not the only one who feels weird about it. I’d love to hear others’ thoughts and feelings on questions like these, and I’d especially love if others would share any good answers they’ve developed!