Thread by @MJ_Leaver

So before any dress up day at school, we take photos. My favourite thing about the last three is all of us messing around, and Grace just holding her perfect selfie angle. Today is @ruokday and our school is wearing yellow and I'm cooking a sausage sizzle for #RUOKDay2019

As you know, I'm on the Governing Council and the Fundraising committees at our school. When we were planning events for the year, I said I wanted to do an #RUOK day barbecue. I want to raise awareness and funds for a "conversation corner". A little bench kids can go and chat.

I organised a couple of @ruokday educational packs (free, and got them sent to our school!) And all this week teachers have been doing activities with the kids on how to be a good friend and to check in with each other.

Now, as you also all know as a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, as someone who lives with suicidal ideation, and CPTSD and BPD, awareness days and the concept of asking #ruok is really problematic when most people aren't equipped to hear my answer.

So why would I jump on board with #ruok day? Because in large part, if someone had asked me #ruok when I was as a tiny human, had listened to and had validated my feelings, the complex part of my trauma might not be so deeply seated.

I think if we empower our kids to look out for each other, to be kind, to connect, to listen, to learn to be vulnerable and caring with each other, we really can help. Now asking #ruok on #RUOKDay2019 isn't going to solve systemic issues that cause trauma or distress.

But it might help, just a little. Yes, I would rather see the world be a better place overall, and I'd rather see significantly more funding poured into affordable, accessible, culturally appropriate, evidence based psychological care - but I'm still going to leverage #RUOKDay

Just as I'll leverage #YouCanTalk and every other initiative that's out there, not because I think they're perfect solutions, and not because I don't find them hard, when accessing help has been so tough for me, and many others, but because I am driven to do everything I can.

And, for many out there, the simple act of someone reaching out can help. Connection and vulnerability and validation can help ease distress. So while I'm advocating for #RUOKDay2019 at our school, I'm going to continue to speak my truth, and push for change within the system.

And if today is tough, and the sight of yellow and cupcakes and platitudes, when all you want is to be better (or not here) is like pouring salt in an open wound you can't get anyone to treat, I'm sorry, I know & I hope you can go gently with you. You deserve kindness and safety.

As always, various helpline numbers are in the pinned tweet, and I'd really like you to keep safe. They might be busy today, because this day/week is tough for a lot of people, so please, rely on your support networks, distract, avoid, ride it out, whatever you need. 💜

All happening

280sh sausages served, one family of five, I always pay for a sausage and a drink for them. I gave sausages to six kids who had no lunch. All kids served were very polite and lovely. Went super smooth! All cleaned up and was rad day.

Our SSO came rushing over and asked if she could fix up (out of her own pocket) so that these kids could participate, and I told her it was covered. She gave me a big hug, and that was really nice.