Thread by @ArmaniTalks

Shy people are either overthinking or highly observant of the social setting.

And in many cases it can be both.

'So what do I do?'

You learn the 75/25 law.

'What is that?'

The law of charisma...👇

Let's address the over thinkers first.

Do you have any idea why you overthink?

'Yea. Because others are judging how shy I am.'

Incorrect.

Others are thinking about themselves, not you.

But the fact that you think they are thinking about you, you fuck up the interaction.

Now you stay in your head too much & avoid the present moment.

A major no no in the social world.

Your tendency to think that others are judging you for being shy, coincidentally makes you more shy.

And that's when you start giving off a strange vibration to the social setting.

This is when you begin attracting comments like 'why are you so quiet?'

It's not the other person who did that.

It's YOU who did that.

When you have the awareness to realize that overthinking:

1. Is born from an illusion of being watched.

2. Attracts the wrong vibes

You become much more mindful & stay in the present moment.

Next, let's talk about the people who are highly observant.

Although their mouth isn't running, their mind is.

They pick up on social cues which are not being noticed by others.

Most people are splitting their attention to being aware & speaking

This group of shy people are placing most of their attention on being aware rather than speaking

So this group has an edge in terms of social awareness.

If you're going to be shy, this is the group you want to be in.

'Why?'

Because solid social awareness helps with listening skills.

And listening skills build social awareness.

This is the path towards charisma

So earlier I mentioned a 75/25 rule.

That means:

☆75% listening & 25% speaking.

If you look at most charismatic people, you'll see they often follow this rule.

A shy person is:

☆~95% listening & 5% speaking.

That's just a rough average.

So in order to become more charismatic you aren't talking THAT much more.

Just ~20% more.

Speaking just ~20% more has you feeling more active in the dialogue & actually allows other people to remember you.

You're not talking 90% more or something bold like that.

Just 20 ish.

If you can't do that, then idk what to tell ya.

You're undermining your potential

Start viewing your shy stage as a warmup phase to your charisma stage.

That's the best way to look at it.

Use your shy stage to build social awareness & your listening muscle

Those are the foundations of any human interaction.

Once you have a strong foundation set, you'll realize incrementally raising your talking percentage is the easy part !

This thread has now given you a blueprint on how to handle shyness.

Having the blueprint will allow you to move with intent vs. hesitancy.

Intent is what will allow you to make significant changes.

So use your shyness as a weapon vs. an excuse to be a wimp!

You'll see the compound effects in no time.

For more tips to level up your social skills, follow your boii @ArmaniTalks 🌍🚀