Thread by @emshort

Thinking a lot lately about virtue as skill.

- doing the right thing is a matter of judgment, courage and habit, not just meaning well
- moral courage can be cultivated; you're not limited to current supply
- it is helpful to have thought about hard issues before facing them

examples:

I struggle to resist certain types of emotional pressure or manipulation. Usually, the only negative consequence is that I tire myself out responding to emotively-phrased requests.

But when the consequences are more serious, I have to find ways to say no even when it feels _really bad_ to do so. Until I have stronger habits here, I get through "difficult no" conversations using methods that may seem downright remedial.

e.g.:
- writing down bullet points of my position in advance
- having other people present
- telling friends what I'm planning to say, and being held accountable by them afterwards
- allowing myself to be awkwardly silent until ready to say no, rather than saying yes to fill air

It feels a bit foolish but it is a way of making sure that the choices I arrive at via careful thought and judgment are not undermined in the moment because I find it emotionally hard to execute them.

item two. there's a very strong argument for being vegan in the current climate circumstances. At the same time, it would be a very challenging change to make in my life, for social, logistical, and health reasons.

I've had this on the shelf for a while as "something I would do if I were a better person." But what I can do:
- make lighter versions of that change -- e.g. eat way less beef
- look for changes that might make it easier to go further

in general, if my reaction to something is "I would do this thing if I were a better person" then the next question should be "how do I become the kind of better person who can do that thing"

item three. someone asked me a few weeks ago how they could help with game industry abuse/harassment/etc issues given they don't know of any active situations in their vicinity that require support

and part of my answer was: educate yourself about the types of situations that arise, and give some advance consideration to how you'd deal with them and what you'd be willing to do about them. because when you do encounter this, guaranteed it will be Complicated and Messy

having thought about that in advance will be a big help. so will knowing signs of things that bear some further interrogation.

There are various things that I let go by in the past without asking too many questions, because I didn't at the time recognize them as warning signs of something worse, or because I assumed I knew everyone involved well enough to trust that they were good actors.

In short, there's a whole virtue skill tree. if you find you don't have the skills to deal with a situation in the best way, you can
- grind XP until you do
- team with someone else who has them
- develop a substitute strategy that compensates for this issue