Today at an event in Louisville an attendee asked me how I continue to meet with and talk with folks who don’t like who I am. How do I continue to go out there, day in and day out, and talk to those who don’t see me as a human worthy of equality and acceptance?
How do I continue to stand firm and believe in myself and my place in this world? How do I respond to those voters? What would I say to those who don’t see me as an equal?
Well. First, I determine if they’re actually ready for the conversation or feedback. Often when a hurtful statement is made, it’s either just that (hate), or sometimes it’s actually a call for help in disguise. Maybe it’s “you frighten me and I’m not sure how to get there yet.”
It takes some getting used to. (Teaching middle school helped!) But once you recognize the difference, you can protect your heart a little easier. If it’s the first one - just angry hate - then move on. Not even worth the conversation. Protect yourself first.
If you sense it’s the second one - a disguised call for help - then you’ve got a choice. You can always walk away, of course! Or, you can speak to your shared humanity. Always keeping in mind that you’re not then asking for permission to exist - you are simply sharing your truth.
Something this president has done a remarkable job at is getting some to no longer see the humanity in each and every one of their fellow Americans. To no longer see a living, breathing, grieving soul, but a facade and a shell. An enemy.
I believe there is good within all of us. If you choose to see the human, the fragile, the confused, and the hurting in all of those around you, then you understand the importance of connecting with everyone on a human level, too.
Nobody likes to be pushed off a cliff, marginalized, or isolated. But, with the right touch of empathy and focus on our shared humanity, we can slowly turn the tide towards progress and acceptance if we open ourselves to difficult conversations and make room for others to learn.
Always stay true to yourself, your journey, and your values.
So, how do I respond to the person who doesn’t see me as an equal? I suppose once I sense their openness to the feedback, I start with, “Hi, I’m Chasten.”
So, how do I respond to the person who doesn’t see me as an equal? I suppose once I sense their openness to the feedback, I start with, “Hi, I’m Chasten.”
