Parents of children with disabilities would do well to realize that adults with disabilities are the holders and shapers of the future that your children will walk into.
When you speak over, step on and are ableist to adults with disabilities, you are doing that to very people who may have to advocate for your grown child when (not if) you are not around anymore.
For now they are your child for 18 years but after those 18 years they are adults - even if they have severe disabilities. The people who will be advocating for the laws, programs and policies that will affect your adult child with disabilities are going to be adults.
We are more educated, more connected through the Internet , more knowledgeable and more politically savvy than before. We are the ones who will push for your child's future.
It would behoove you to listen to us, take our advice and follow our lead some of the time.
It would behoove you to listen to us, take our advice and follow our lead some of the time.
You may know what you child needs today but we will be fighting for what your adult child needs tomorrow.
In short, the best mediation I can leave you is this poem by Khalil Gibran. 
Another thought is: Your child with disabilities will need role models and mentors that look like them and can provide an invaluable resource about how to navigate through the complexity of living in a 3.0 society as an adult with disability.
Mentorship and friendship of adult with the same disability as your child can be just as crucial to your child's development as the advice of medical professionals. Most likely, professionals can only give their medical perspective and not the lived experience of disability.
