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Boba Fett: Guy in cool armor that scares Han Solo but only shows up for five minutes, does nothing, dies.

Star Wars Guys: What a cool mysterious dude. He must have an amazing backstory. I'm invested!

The Widow Omera: *knows how to shoot*

Star Wars Guys: wtf. wtF. WtF. WTF.
Given the timing, Omera may very well be a war widow, which means the thing they're complaining about is actually just traditional gender roles IN SPACE.
Luke Skywalker: I used to take potshots at wildlife out the side of my hover car with a sidearm so, yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm an ace fighter pilot.

Star Wars Guys: This tracks.

The Widow Omera: *shoots a stationary target from 20 feet away*

Star Wars Guys: The agenda here.
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Alexandra Erin
@AlexandraErin
It's kind of amazing to me that there are two (2) long-running, syndicated, televised at least once, and merchandised comic strips about cats that... aren't actually about cats.
You go on the internet and people are tweeting and tumbling about cats, sharing cat pictures and stories about their cats, it's this endlessly engrossing and highly relatable source of Good Content.
And then you open up The Funny Pages and cats are apparently all about I don't know, bubble gum and lasagna.
Read 8 tweets
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Alexandra Erin
@AlexandraErin
Apparently there is Discourse about whether it's respectful or not to pause The Irishman on Netflix and this is reminding me when some very male segments of Film Twitter tried to convince people it's rude to look at your phone during a movie *in your own house*.
It started with people dogpiling a poster who hadn't specified she was watching at home and so at first I thought people were just being stubborn and not wanting to admit they'd jumped to conclusions... but then they kept talking and it's like, "Oh, this is a thing."
"It's just disrespectful to the art of filmmaking."

"It's an insult to the director."

"I guess it's fine if you're alone, otherwise it's rude to the other people who are watching the movie."
Read 4 tweets
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Alexandra Erin
@AlexandraErin
This doesn't even necessarily require "wiring". A group that behaves in a way that ensures its continued existence will continue to exist. A group that doesn't won't. Larger time scales favor a stronger focus on group survival at the expense of any other actual purpose.
A group that actively recruits, actively protects itself from threats, and actively reinforces in-group dynamics can outlast one that doesn't do those things. Few people will join a group that exists only manifestly for the purpose of perpetuating the group, though...
...so "fitness" in an evolutionary sense for a group depends on having ostensible purposes that make it attractive. For a young and growing group, being attractive to outsiders is more important than long-term survival.
Read 7 tweets

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maxi
@kiribakugu
lol since my preschool thread ended up not really fitting in my nasty account (and i keep confusing myself), im gonna continue it here. here’s the link to the beginning of it ↓

Katsuki sits with the sleeping toddler in his lap while Jirou takes attendance of the other kiddos. He’s never felt this kind of affection towards any of the kids, and honestly, it kind of scares him.
He just wants so badly for Eijirou to be happy, for him to not be weighed down so heavily by his home life. He’s seen the kid’s sunshine personality, he knows he’s capable of being the cheeriest little shit out there.
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Jennifer Taub
@jentaub
🧵 Here we go! Tweeting the @HouseJudiciary impeachment inquiry hearing. Witness will be Corey Lewandowski, former Trump Campaign manager. Chairman Nadler gaveled in at 1:16 p.m.

1/
@HouseJudiciary Nadler: All elements of obstruction of justice were met, according to Mueller Report. Today examining the President enlisting Lewandowski to get Sessions to shut down Mueller investigation.

2/
@HouseJudiciary President knows that anyone else (but a sitting president) would be charged with a crime. White House blocked Porter and Dearborn from showing up today. Spurious legal doctrine. WH also used when committee called McGahn to testify. This "absolute immunity" is made up

3/
Read 214 tweets
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🖤 ❤️ elliott | COMMISSIONS OPEN 🌈 ✨
@zombietime_
#Sheith Months ago I was telling server folks about an au idea I had where Keith was a professional Dom at a dungeon and he had a group of friends who met up at the yarn store that Allura worked at and they had like, kinksters knit and crochet time.
So naturally, Shiro wanders in because his doctor recommended picking up knitting to improve his manual dexterity and Allura invites him to the group because Keith has been single for too long and she knows he needs some of that.
Anyway, this is ridiculous and self-indulgent, but does anyone besides me want this au?
Read 343 tweets
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bub💕 seho fic 🔞📌
@bottom_nini
🔞 Seho tweetfic 🔞

Junmyeon knows him and Sehun are close. They share a bed often, go on holidays together, are two of the closest people in the band.

So when one day Sehun asks him for a hand job in name of "experimenting", who is Junmyeon to say no?
Junmyeon wasn't sure how he found himself in this situation, his hand down Sehun's underwear, the younger gasping softly against his neck.

"H-hyung" the maknae's breath was tickling his skin and Junmyeon grew only harder in his own boxers.
They both had a few drinks that evening, the other guys deciding the middle of the week was a perfect time to get pissed with band mates.

Alcohol was smuggled in, enough for everyone to get fairly drunk. Junmyeon drank the least out of them, but the booze buzz was still there.
Read 521 tweets
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Pʜʀʏɴᴇ: Vapor Weyve
@Nymphomachy
Alright people, let's do this one last time.

I had tons of fun doing this the other day and I want to do it again, the right way, in a coherent, accessible thread, so here it is, rewritten, my goofy AU for A NEW HOPE in which Luke is a trans girl sex worker instead of a farm boy
So, we begin where we left off from RotS, i.e, Leia going to the Organa family and the other twin going to Tatooine, but in this timeline, the latter turns out to be queer af

Amazingly, growing up trans to conservative parents in an agrarian backwater isn’t a good way to grow up
The child struggles with deeply unsupportive foster parents who seem hellbent on pushing her toward a future that makes her nigh-suicidal to imagine

Owen deliberately conceals so much from her about her origins that she occasionally wonders if she was just purchased outright
Read 176 tweets
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Lucie.
@Yoongingularity
#Yoonmin AU▪NSFW

》》Lay you down

•When it feels so right
It can never be wrong•

For the 1st time, Jimin tries marijuana at a party, enjoying with his friends.

Until he wakes up naked against his bf's big brother, Min Yoongi. The one he was supposed to meet the same day.
☣ Angst and NSFW content. Irrepressible desire. Cheating, lies, culpability, betrayal.

Forbidden but unstoppable feelings.
Jimin didn’t know why he had agreed to come to this party, which was taking place at someone he didn’t even know, with people he didn’t even know.

Maybe because his friends had long insisted that he accompany them.
Read 1086 tweets

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