CW: Mental Health, Therapy, #detrans
Thread:
I remember right before I went to seek a gender therapist, my mental health was the lowest it had been in quite a while. Making it through shifts at work was impossible. I frequently called out due to depression. 1/?
Thread:
I remember right before I went to seek a gender therapist, my mental health was the lowest it had been in quite a while. Making it through shifts at work was impossible. I frequently called out due to depression. 1/?
When I looked in the mirror, I couldn’t even recognize myself anymore. It felt like my body wasn’t mine. That I was just inhabiting it. Then, I logged onto YouTube and stumbled upon my first FTM YouTuber. The first video I saw hit me like a truck. It felt so... relatable. 2/
So I watched more and more of those videos, and I related to it all. I was always one of the boys growing up. Even my male peers said that I’m basically a boy in a girls body. I was in so much pain, that the idea of me being trans seemed like an amazing discovery. 3/
So I set my appointment with the gender therapist. My mother was confused, but accompanied me to my first one. I told my therapist that I read online that you need a letter to get hormones if you have gender dysphoria, and we talked about my gender dysphoria. 4/
I saw her once a month for six months, and I mentioned my anxiety and depression to her. Told her about how I couldn’t get through work sometimes. She said that it was all probably connected to my gender dysphoria and when I transition, it’ll probably go away. 5/
I was so relieved! Finally, a solution. After six months, I got my diagnosis and a letter and I could finally have hormones. Things were amazing for a while. I looked forward to all the changes. I came to twitter for community. Little by little though, I noticed little signs. 6/
I brushed them off as part of the process. Now, after being 7 months on T, I couldn’t ignore them anymore. Enough was enough. Now, here I am. I’m not okay, but I will be. I hope that the other people feeling this signs will listen to their instinct. 7/ 
I want to heal because I want the Ami that’s always been there to know that she never had to be James to be whole. She never had to be James to matter in this world. She was beautiful just the way she was. I am beautiful just the way I am. 😊💖 8/8
