Thread by @Realoilsheikh

WHAT MAKES CHILDREN BECOME ODEDIENT?

Imaam Ibn QAYYIM (RH) said:

Among the people of knowledge, some said that: Allah (SWT) will question the father concerning his child on the Day of Qiyamah before He will question the son concerning his father. Just as the father has a

right upon his son, the son also has a right upon his father as stated by Allah (SWT):

“And We have enjoyed on man to be good and dutiful to his parents.”

[Surat al-Ankaboot: 8].

Allah also said:

“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves & your families against a fire whose

fuel is men and stones.”

[Surat at-Tahreem: 6]

Ali bin Abi Taalib (RA) said:

“ (It means) Teach them and discipline them.”

Allah (SWT) said:

“Worship Allah & join none with Him (in worship); & do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans.”

[Surat an-Nisaa’: 36].

The Prophet (SAW ) said:

“Be just among your children.” {Abu Dawood 3544}

So Allah's advice to the fathers regarding their children preceded His advice to children regarding their fathers.

Allah (SWT) said:

“And kill not your children for fear of poverty.”

[Israa’: 31].

Whoever is careless about teaching his child what will be beneficial to him & neglected him, such a person has indeed done a great harm to the child. The corruption of most children came from the fathers, their carelessness & abandonment of teaching them the obligations and

recommendations of the religion.

So, they wasted them while at their tender age and as such, the children may not benefit themselves or their fathers in their old age.

One of the fathers reproached his son for being undutiful to him and the son replied saying:

"Dear father, you were undutiful to me while I was young, so I will be undutiful to you in your old age; you wasted me while I was a child, so I will waste you in your old age.”

Source: Tuhfah al-Mawdood bi Ahkaam al-Mawlood, p.200-201 by Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah.

Dear fathers, the responsibility of training the children is entirely on your shoulders. The mothers are just helpers. It is your responsibility to pay their school fees, feed them, educate them about Islam yourself, if you cannot or are too busy, pay for them to be educated.

Show them love, be fair among them. Do not love one over the other, do not treat them harshly or as junks. They will treat you as a junk when they come of age. Do not allow them see you as an irresponsible father. They will grow with that impression & they might never change.

Is there any irresponsibility greater than just giving birth to them & allowing them suffer without care and education?

If you want to enjoy your children's obedience & dutifulness, be responsible & be dutiful too.